I love my man with all of my heart. He's everything I ever dreamt of and more. We're getting married next July and planning our wedding day at home. We built a house together last year, and have been together for 4 years.
I know I am going to sound really superficial here, but I am still waiting on a proposal, and it's driving me insane. I really want that romantic moment, would love a ring.
I am not fussy or greedy. I dont care if it is not a diamond...I'd just love that heartfelt proposal and a pretty ring. I have talked to him about it and he says to be patient, relax and it will happen. I am not a patient person and he knows that....I just dont know what he is waiting for. I mean, the wedding celebrant is booked, catering taken care of...the wedding date is under 9 months away...I cant see any point in dragging it out any longer. He wont even go in jewellery shops, window shopping isnt even an option, because he gives them a wide berth. I dont understand what is going on.
2007-10-12 09:41:41 · 18 answers · asked by bluegirl6 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have spoken to him about whether it is a commitment thing....if he is unsure of whether or not he wants to marry me. He told me not to be silly, he wants to marry me and always has. Again he reassures me and tells me to be patient, it will happen.
I believe him, I know he loves me. We can talk about anything, but I feel awkward discussing this situation. I feel reluctant to continue with wedding plans because It feels odd not being official yet or having a ring on my finger.
I know how silly and rediculous I am being, I guess I am just really impatient, and getting frustrated. It feels like I have been waiting forever for him to ask me.
2007-10-12 09:45:46 · update #1
* yes we have booked things, and no it is not just me going crazy and planning a wedding to force him into it....it is mutual....he started the ball rolling by emailing his friends in Canada giving them a date for the wedding so they can fly over. He also secretly emailed my cousin in Georgia, so she has an oppurtunity to come.
I just want him to make it official and propose already!!!!
2007-10-12 09:50:18 · update #2
Honey, I would say its pretty darn official if you two are already booking and paying for things for the wedding. You bought a house together, so it sounds solid to me.
I would get off of his back and let him do it in his own time. It sounds like you are pestering him too much about it and the more you push the more he is going to wait.
2007-10-12 10:11:27 · answer #1 · answered by SisterSue 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's odd or superficial to want a formal proposal and a ring. Most girls or women imagine the moment the guy proposes marraige from the time they are very very young.
Maybe he doesn't understand how invested you are in wanting a proposal and a ring.
It's possible he has or will have something planned, which would be why he doesn't just do it. It could also explain the aversion to jewelry stores, if he already has a ring picked out.
Even though he told you not to be silly when you asked him about the commitment, that may not be totally out of the question. And you should be able to tell him that you don't feel you're being silly, it's really bothering you that it seems like he's blowing off one of your dreams.
You might want to ask a friend or family member he trusts and respects to speak with him, letting him know how important this is to you, that it's normal for you to feel this way, and to find out if there is really something to be patient FOR. If he does have some plan for making it all special, maybe the friend could remind him that he needs to weigh the benefit of the super-surprise proposal against the prolonged anxiety he's putting you through.
2007-10-12 10:04:57 · answer #2 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I admit I think it is a little strange that you have already booked a caterer and set a wedding date without being engaged and him actually asking you. Aside from that, however, I am almost in the same situation as you. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 years and have lived together for a year, and we talk about our wedding daily. He even signed me up for some mailing list, to the point where I get wedding pamphlets, catering menus, and photography brochures in the mail almost every day, even though we are not engaged!!!
At the same time, he already knows a lot of the little details of our wedding, and we have already talked about the honeymoon, the food, etc. This is probably a little strange, just like your situation.
Supposedly, he has just been saving for a ring and is waiting to talk to my father before he proposes. For my sake (and yours) I would say just wait and he will propose. I mean, how can he expect you to walk down the aisle in July if he hasn't even asked you to marry him? Hopefully, we will both be celebrating real engagements in the near future. Good luck to you, and I guess there is not much we can do at this point but wait!
Hope it helped. Good luck =)
BTW, my bf wants our wedding to be in July, too!
2007-10-12 10:05:59 · answer #3 · answered by Naughty ♥Angel♥ Mommy2B! 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What would the "proposal" be for? If you're planning a wedding, you are already engaged. You missed the train, girl; a proposal "after the fact" would just be silly! If you want a ring, just ask him to go to the jewelry store with you, and pick out a ring you like. Focus on the things that matter - like your upcoming marriage.
P.S. Engagement is an agreement to marry. You both have agreed to marry each other - so, you're "engaged". It IS official. A ring doesn't make it more or less so. Agreeing to marry does, and you already have that.
2007-10-12 10:05:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
I do understand your frustration, however give your man a break. You want that romantic moment and it sounds like he wants you to have it, however you are going to wait. Do not mention it again, stop nagging him. You will only spoil what he wants to do for you. This is a good lesson for you to learn before you get married stop being selfish and wait. Yes, I said selfish!!! You started off by saying you love your man, but you can not wait for him to propose. What is your definition of "love"? Is it only when you are getting what you want that you love him? Patience is learned and marriage is all about being patient with one another. Perhaps, you need to worry more about are you really ready to make a covenant with this man rather than wanting a romantic moment.
2007-10-12 14:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by muffin 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
At that element, it would be time to refer the affected person someplace else. A psychologist is ethically in charge to dodge twin relationships on each occasion a risk. a shopper having an affair with your terrific chum's significant different is basically this way of project. in spite of the reality that it would technically be a ethical violation to bare the advice to the terrific chum, the particular psychologist in contact might decide to weigh his/her dedication to the friendship against his/her dedication to the moral rules of the occupation and then act thus. One a risk answer could be to subtly advise to the chum (without giving specifics or names) that he could be sensible to scrupulously examine his marriage or in any different case point out to the chum which you have reason to suspect that his marriage is "in jeopardy"and go away it at that. ~Dr. B.~
2016-10-22 04:37:42 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UM, if you both are planning for a wedding he proposed SOMEHOW...
whether it was a "let's get married *date*" or "pick a date for our wedding", it was a (pitiful) proposal.
If you can't talk to him about this then there is going to be trouble down the line.
He told you to "be patient" so be patient!
2007-10-13 10:57:06 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he says be patient then he is probobly planning something big he dowsn't want to shop for rings b/c he already has one picked out and is saving for it
2007-10-12 10:11:31 · answer #8 · answered by livin the dream 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
idk, however why in the world are you planning a wedding if you aren't even engaged yet? Does he know you have made all of these arrangements? If he does, duh, you're already getting married... so you've obviously talked about this all. If not, you may be delusional.
Part of being a close couple is that you can talk about anything. Just tell him what you want.
2007-10-13 02:15:32 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't understand why you guys would plan out the entire wedding but not be engaged? Isn't that a little backwards?
2007-10-12 09:50:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋