at what point is disciplining your child become child abuse?

Question

im doing a paper on child abuse, so if anyone has any stories that they would feel comfortable about sharing please tell. or even if you have any say in what you think. please and thank you!!

Answer 1

I think that when you're leaving bruises it's obviously abuse. But I don't think you're talking about obvious blatant abuse.

I think it all starts with intent. Why are you disciplining or punishing your child? Is it because what they did was wrong? Or is it because what they did made you mad? I think the anger behind it is the problem. A calm disciplining parent will rarely cross the line into abuse - even which physical spankings. However, an enraged, angry parent, can very easily cross that line and be too harsh - falling into abuse.

Answer 2

I'm no expert on this. In fact, I've often wondered the same thing. However, I would have to say that if a child KNOWS right from wrong, and KNOWS there will be consequences, then a smack on the butt is appropriate. However, if the parent reacts with anger over something, that could be considered abuse. It depends on what the motive is, and what the knows rules are. If the parent warns the child, and the child misbehaves anyway, the parent is in their right to discipline the child. Of course, age comes into play also. Overall, it is up to the parent to set the rules, and emforce them. GREAT question!!

Answer 3

I agree child abuse is an over rated phase used today. I am 24 years old and can remember getting whipped with belts, switches, spoons, basically anything that was long enough to reach out and grab my attention. I now have a 11 month old little girl and she will be raised the same way I was. Spare the rod and spoil the child. It is just that simple how much plainer could you get? Physical child abuse is where there are bruises on top of bruises. But there are other forms also mental and verbal abuse. In the state of Cal. if you are caught smoking in a car under the age of 18 it is child abuse. Children are let get away with so much that any form of discipline to them they consider child abuse. I have seen kids come into school and feed me the biggest line of crap because there parents wouldn't let them go to some party for the weekend. But I have also seen children huddle in the corners scared of anyone who came near them. I have begged and pleaded with people to take them out of the situations they are in and be told that the states mission is to keep the family together. I have seen children scared and mangled and nothing be done but you want to write people a ticket for smoking in there car?

Answer 4

Good question.
One clear line of demarcation is the infliction of bruising, or any manifestation of injury.
However, "discipline" can become abusive with out leaving marks or bruises or bleeding.
I'd like to say this is one of those things that you know it when you see it, unfortunately that is not true. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse and many people have no idea when their words or tone of voice becomes abusive.
I once represented a 4 year old whose mother was schizophrenic. He was found locked in his room with a potty chair, old food and other refuse. When we asked the mother why she explained that as a child she had always wanted her own play space, but she had siblings and had to share. Therefore, she was--in her mind--merely providing her son with a play space all his own. She contended the only reason the neglect/abuse charges were being brought was because the government objected to the fact that she only feed her son natural foods.
So, there is no clear line because we are dealing with human beings with all of their frailties and foibles, and it scares me.
Hopefully the references listed below can provide a full discussion on the issue.
Good luck with the paper, and thanks for posting such a thought provoking question.

Answer 5

To me, child abuse is when a child is hit (either with fists or objects) and it leaves a bruise and a lasting impact on the childs life. I was physically abused as a child, my parents were really old-school at that time. They had recently just immigrated to the US from Thailand. Practically all of me and siblings got beat when we were little whenever we did something wrong, like stealing or staying out late at night when we weren't supposed to. We were never beaten for peeing in our pants, or doing bad in school. I don't blame my parents for doing what they did, I understand that it was the only way they knew of to try and discipline me and my siblings. Needless to say, they don't do it any more. They've learned from us and other people that it's wrong to abuse kids.

Answer 6

We were recently given a lecture here in Family Court in reference to this. While it was stated that it is PREFERRED that disciplining NOT include any form of physical touching, it was understood that often this is impossible. The 'line' is generally then drawn when the physical discipling leaves a mark that is visible, such as a bruise, welt, etc. Or, if the effects of the disciplining causes a negative change in the behavior of the child, such as cringing when voices are raised, bedwetting, bullying (where none was before), depression, etc.

You can find more "legal" information about this at this "Child Welfare Information Gateway" site:
http://www.childwelfare.gov/can/defining/

Answer 7

WHEN U TAKE "DISIPLININ"G UR CHILD 2 FAR!Leaving marks on the child playing mind games with them using n abusing ur power r status

Abuse fits in 2 many ares which are inter-linked 2 childs development
* Physical abuse- causing harm n inflicting unnesicary pain
* Emotional- Tormenting mind n confidence etc
* Social- Lack of communication/interaction,integration
* Neglect-Starvation, Health,Development
* Intellectual - lack of encouragment/ thriving etc

All factors link which have a knock on effect 2 all developmental needs

Answer 8

child abuse is a vary over rated thing in the world now days and is something that needs alot of attion i spank my children and i smack there hands but when it comes to child abuse it is where you do other things to a child where it might leave a bruse or welt sometimes cuts useing things like hangers - shoes - things that are not right to use it is where you make a child fill more than just pain you make them fill scared and asham and lost and wanting help and hope i fill for all those children who go through this on a daily bases child abuse needs to stop and here is something i do think is wrong alot of the mothers and father who do this to there children are those who are young and have had it done to them growing up and thats what they no and never got help for it and now takes it to there family and passis it on mothers who do it i think it because they dont have the support they need they fill lost and hopeless and need someone to show them there not alone in this its time for our world to show there love and careing spirits to those in the need ...... good luck with your paper

Answer 9

I think that child abuse is when a parent spanks out of anger or frustration, instead of purely out of discipline. Children know the difference.

Answer 10

I think it is abuse to scream at a child, to call him names, to shove him, slap him, kick him, pull hair, or pinch.
Sometimes, it's the hardest thing to deal with a child. I am a parent of four. I know they really test your patience. But we are way bigger, should be way smarter, and have way more life lessons under our belt. If we can't draw on our resources and discipline our children with patience and love, we don't deserve them. Too bad it's so easy to breed!
Your child is learning by your example. If you lose it and lash out it is CHILD ABUSE and you are a bully.