I am attending a wedding this evening and I have unfortunately come accross a financial hiccup. When I replied to the invite I was fully expecting to bring a gift of money to cover my plate and then some. Since then I have had some money problems. I did not want to cancel since it was too late plus I am sure that it would be rude to make them pay for the plates. I was wondering if I could send a card with a check to them in the next month or two? Thanks for the input!
2007-10-12 08:23:32 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Give a card at the reception, saying you are sending a gift in the mail and they should receive it shortly. This way they do not think they lost your gift or that you do not intend to give a gift.
2007-10-12 08:31:17 · answer #1 · answered by no_frills 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Of course it is okay! People invite their friends to their wedding to share their day with them and for them to witness the union that they make with their loved one. Gifts are an added bonus.......They would be more upset if you cancelled and didnt go at the last minute, than they would be if you showed without a gift.
Nobody will even notice if you came with a gift or not. Some people will have sent them over to the house before the wedding, some will send them after the wedding, some wont bring gifts at all, so there is no way anyone will know what your plans are.
Post them a card with some money or a gift card in it if you wish, as soon as you can afford it. HOWEVER never feel that your monetary gift has to "cover the cost of the plate". When going to a wedding you are there as a special guest, NOT to pay for your plate. I dont know who started that trend but it is so not true.
Go, enjoy the wedding and remember you have up to a year to send the gift.
2007-10-12 08:41:28 · answer #2 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure where the idea that your gift was supposed to cover the cost of your plate came from. You should give a gift that is appropriate to your financial situation. Bringing a card is great, and you might mention a gift is coming, but you don't really need to. You certainly don't need to say you're having difficulties or apologize. It is more common than not to ship the gift in lieu of bringing it to the wedding. So, go to the wedding, don't feel guilty or bad AT ALL, and send the check or gift when you are able.
2007-10-12 08:44:24 · answer #3 · answered by eli_star 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure it's fine. I would suggest either inform the couple in person to be expecting their gift or give them a little card and say you're sorry the gift isn't there as well but it will be coming shortly. Just so they aren't surprised by a card with some extra cash.
One thing is I would think, since the gift is late, it may be better to find an actual physical item instead of sending cash two months down the road.
2007-10-12 09:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by Manny 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No. That is not rude. Actually, and I recently found this out, you have up to 1 year to send a gift. I had never heard of that, but, in fact, it's true and I read it on a wedding etiquette website.
So....go to the wedding and reception and send something when you can afford it.
I agree with the others who posted, you MAY want to bring a card saying that your gift is forthcoming. That way the bride and groom know that you didn't snub them!
Have fun!
2007-10-12 08:36:13 · answer #5 · answered by iloveweddings 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've never heard of making the guests pay for their own dinner. If you are close to the couple you can explain your financial dilemma but not to the point where they feel like they should be giving you money. Or just tell them you wanted to wait and see what they still needed after everyone else presents.
My neice recieved3 sets of dinnerware, 5 foreman grills, tons of repeats and had to go through the hassel of taking most of it back because no one updated the gift registry when they purchased something on it.
And finally, it is their special day I'm sure the last thing on their mind is that you didn't give them anything. Go ahead and have a good time...don't feel guilty for being broke, it happens to the best us usually when its the most inconvinent.
2007-10-12 08:38:07 · answer #6 · answered by maybe 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why you are paying for your own plate unless that was stated before hand, but that sounds tacky. But you can buy a nice card and included a deep sentiment, then later on once they come back from their honeymoon you can ask what they are missing or need and then your financial situation may have improved and you can send them a gift.
2007-10-12 08:54:43 · answer #7 · answered by Bad_Kity 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine why that wouldn't be fine. I know for myself and my fiance, we aren't even thinking about people bringing gifts. I think it's more about you celebrating with your friends and family. I'm not going to be keeping score on who didn't give me a gift, and I'm sure your friend won't either.
Send a card later on with a note saying something like "I intended on giving this to you at the wedding, but it got buried under a mountain of paperwork on my desk and I'm just now finding it. Your wedding was just lovely! Thank you for including me." Just make sure you date the check for around this time and not the future date. Even better, send a gift card from the store they registered from.
2007-10-12 08:31:45 · answer #8 · answered by Finally Mrs. 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was always told that it is actually "rude" to bring a gift to the wedding/reception because it is something that the bride and groom (usually ends up being their family or close friend) have to keep track of and find a way to get it back to their house.
2007-10-13 08:14:22 · answer #9 · answered by lo im ve 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gifts are never ever required whether you can attend the wedding or not.
IT is perfectly fine and NOT rude to give a wedding gift at a later date.
2007-10-13 11:00:01 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋