I want to end my life?

Question

I want to end my life i have deppression and ocd i have no meaning to my crap life everyone hates me my mum dont hate me my big half sister blames me for my dad beating my mum up i wish i stopped him but i didnt understand i was 2 or 3 i blame myself i should have stopped him i should have understood what was going on i was too thick still thick i wish i was never born my doctor dont care. :'(

ive seen a counseller he dont care he blames my mum for my ocd its not my mums fault at all i hate him how could he say such an evil thing my mum is helping me its not my mums fault my mum is a kind nice person that is helping me

ive seen a counseller he dont care he blames my mum for my ocd its not my mums fault at all. i hate him how could he say such an evil thing. my mum is helping me its not my mums fault my mum is a kind nice person that is helping me

I hate my dad i hope he burns in hell. He died when i was 12 or 13 he died of an heart attack and iam glad hes dead i hope he was in ALOT OF PAIN I HOPE HE BURNS IN HELL FOR WHAT HE DID TO MY PERFECT MUM. I can remember he was hurting my mums legs against the bath and banging my mums head against the wall she was trieing to get him off her and my mum was crying i thought it was play fight

I feel shy to phone a help line. This women called christine coy called me dafted danielle loads of times she was my mums friend. My mum is not her friend no more and lorraine sharp called me not normal and that iam mental ocd does not mean iam mental. Theres cruel people out there. My mum is not friends with lorraine sharp any more. I hate where me and my mum live theres bad memorys where we live

Why is life pain pain pain pain? Pain allways follows me :'(

Iam hurting inside i dont now what to do :'(

Tess i dont care if my evil dad was abused i hope he was abused I HOPE HE BURNS IN HELL IN PAIN REAL BIG HUGE PAIN. If he was abused there no reason why he should take it out on my mum my mum is perfect mum my mum is kind loving perfect mum ever i love and care about my mum and my mum loves and cares about me too.

I havent cried in a long time i feel tired

I dont now which answer to pick

Nichola1 its not my mums fault at all my mum tried to get us all away from him my mum found a place where women go when there being abused and we all lived in yorkshire and my mum and sister missed granma and grandad and my mum found a place that my dad couldnt find but my dad followed my mum and me and my sister and found where we lived its not my mums fault at all

my mum found a place where women go when there being abused and and my mum went there and took me and my sister there

my mum found a place where women go when there being abused and and my mum went there and took me and my sister with her

Tj or dj its not my mums fault and my mum is a perfect mum. and second the bad memorys are in my head and the bad memorys are allways in my head. I didnt understand what u was saying i hope u wasnt being nasty

Tj or dj its not my mums fault and my mum is a perfect mum. and second the bad memorys are in my head and the bad memorys are allways in my head. I didnt understand what u was saying i hope u wasnt being nasty

Copperca i dont want to see my counseller cause he blames my mum when its not my mums faul at all

Copperca i dont want to see my counseller cause he blames my mum when its not my mums fault at all

Answer 1

1-800-833-2900. Call this number. It's a suicide hotline. I've never called it but I know how it feels to wish you had stopped someone from beating my mom.

Answer 2

DJ is right. You should only be in charge of the skin you are in...everything out side that is not your responsibility. Try to focus on making yourself happy rather then worrying about other peoples issues.

You know where the help is... Go get it. Counselors are everywhere from school to the phone book. Go there as a start then keep taking steps without fail.. Good luck and never give up.

Tj

Part Two...

I have read your secondary writings. No one is perfect...we all have a boat load of faults that can sometimes have an effect on other people. Sometimes our faults are not so noticable but that can effect others just the same. If no one is perfect...it means your Mom is not perfect. She's a person just like you and me. Start there....

The place for your questions is not Yahoo answers. You seem smart enough to know that, so I bet you do know that. There was a time in my life that I thought that the pain of hurting myself would be less then the pain that I was experiencing at that time. I was wrong and so are you. It may seem easier but it is not. I don't think you would want to do that to yourself and your Mom.

There are plenty of bad things to dwell on. I want you to try something. While you are sitting thinking about bad things and hurtful things....ask yourself this question, "what do i wish to accomplish by thinking these hurtful thoughts?". Once you can answer that question...with let's say... the answer of "to make myself feel bad." Once you feel bad...you have accomplished your goal...you can think about something else...and do just that! If you don't know why you are thinking about something hurtful...then it has no point and you should think about something else. This will be hard to do at first...like everything it's practice, practice, practice... don't give up. Try to earn yourself a happy minute or two and much as you can. Good luck and see your counselor.

Answer 3

I am sorry you feel as you do. Without knowing what you mean by torturing it is hard to say, but nothing is worth ending your life. If you are happy until you have to deal with your husband and in laws then your life is not pathetic, their lives are and in turn they need to make yours bad. Don't take it from them. My suggestion is this. Tell them to piss off. Treat them like children. If they give you gruff, ignore them and if they press you into why you are not answering them tell them you will only talk to people who are adult and can have an intelligent conversation and not be rude and degrading. If you are already at a point that you are contemplating suicide then throw caution to the wind. If your husband says he is going to physically hit you or even does anything that you feel he will, tell him if he does then you are going to the police and have him arrested. Its time for you to take your life back. If he is treating you bad such as that he says you cannot have your girlfriends over when you want or so on, tough luck, have them over. Do what you want, within the confines of your marriage vows. If you are unhappy in your marriage fix it or get out of it before you move on. But you should NEVER EVER end your life or even consider it because someone else is being degrading. That means they win and you lose and all your family and friends lose because they will miss you and be more distraught than you can imagine without you being there. I hope this helps, but feel free to contact me if you need a sound board and let me know how things go.

Answer 4

you saw this when you were a small child and its scared you you will always get the flash backs and nothing in this world would make that your mum would have hoped you did not see this happen no man should lift there hand to a woman and yes he will get his come upance?you must get well and give your mum a great life of peace and tranquillity as she has had a very hard time by the sounds of it try to put all in the past and try for pastures new a fresh start by showing mum how you love her being together Evan walks to the park and going out as your mum is your best friend and will stand by you no matter what your mum took the beatings and she is trying to put that behind her never mind what people say this one and that one?you and mum get closer and live your life's to the full and forget the past take care bless you both

Answer 5

Hi,please don't let people lead you into believing it's your fault,as it's not,I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling, just hold your head up high and try to think about everything positive you have in life and how you and your mum will be able to overcome this together,talk with her about how your feeling and Iam sure you will feel more at ease,I wish you all the best,and I look forward to answering some more of your questions especially those Christmas ones,and it's funny how we both happened to get those same magazines lol.

Answer 6

What form of ocd do you have? It sounds like you are feeling very trapped and unable to carry all this load on your own. For that I am so sorry. I understand its so hard to reach out and so hard to figure out what the point is, the point and meaning of life right now for you though is to reach out for help. Keep reaching until you find the right kind. Don't give up. I can feel by reading your messege youre strength, You have carried the weight of all this long enough on your own and now it's time, you feel it in your body and soul the pain you can no longer carry.
Cry, scream, go outside and simply dig in the dirt, crank your music , whatever you do let it out.....you don't have to carry it anymore sweetheart. You are the bravest of all soldiers but now its time to heal.

Do not hurt yourself, you have been hurting for wayyy too long!

The events your mother went through are in No way your fault, or her fault, and your sister is pointing her finger at the wrong person. It should be pointed at the man who hurt your mother. He is the only place any blame should fall ever. Those who have been hurt like you and your mom and even your sister too do not deserve to be victims again by others opinions or blame. Ignore those people please.

If your docter doesnt care, find a new docter. You can do this, you are strong. Talk to your mom and tell her how you are feeling. It sounds like you 2 are very very close. She is there for you, like you have been for her all you have to do is reach out to her.
Keep fighting this you deserve all the very best in the world.

You had no way to stop him! You were a young innocent child and still deep in your heart you are still there, and I wish I could reach out and hold your hand.

~Added --crying is something everyone needs to do but if you can't cry thats ok, scream as loud as you can instead, You definately need to feel heard no matter what and no matter when. however there is no shame in crying. I didnt cry for many years, it all caught up to me. Tears are healing rain. I am sending you healing light and love.
~~Added
How are you feeling now?

Answer 7

Your mother was a victim of domestic abuse. It was not her fault. The only person to blame is your father. People are not born abusive it is the enviorment we live in. Chances are your father was also abused as a child. If your counselor cannot understand this than find a new one. You were a victim also and need help sorting out your feelings. Don't give up! Get Help!

Answer 8

hey!
please dont blame yourself how could a 2-3 year old stop a violent man?
your half sister must be an idiot if she blames you she's older so why didn't she do anything?
my life is completely rubbish to I'm 13 and have anxiety/depression,I'm off school because i cant cope and all i do is look at the walls of my house,my dad is emotionally abusive my life basically sucks i wish i hadn't been born but I'm fighting to get my life on track again and i think you should try to!
good luck x

Answer 9

Put the counselling on hold and try "Cognative Behavioural Therapy" or CBT.
Your thought patterns from what you have written are showing MAJOR examples of what are called "cognative distortions" and CBT works VERY WELL for that kind of driven depressive disorder.

Trust me I know what I'm talking about - I've been there, and been cured by it.

However you will probably also need to take SSRI antidepressants as well.

Good luck, and email my via my profile if you want to chat further.
I'm not trying to sell anything, ever.

Answer 10

It is not your fault that your dad hurt your mum it was his fault he should be blamed by your sis, not you. And no it is not your Mum's fault for your OCD I have OCD symptoms but my mum does not so that therapist knows nothing. So do not blame yourself all of this was just very very bad luck and hopefully you can put it all behind you and enjoy the rest of your life.

Answer 11

I dont know what to say, I thought that I could help but I guess I have not been of any help, maybe you should start talking to that one girl who wants to talk to you, maybe she can help. I feel really bad for you and I struggle with the same things only mine is no where as bad. I wish that I knew how to help you but I dont, I am at a loss of words. All that I can say to you is hang in there, better things are to come if you work towards them. You cant just wait for things to get better, you have to make the changes, and killing yourself is not one of them.