My husband and I went on vacation last week and gave our neighbor a key to our apartment so that she could feed and give our cat water everyday. We paid her for this and I trusted her because she's older and and we've known he for 3 years.
When we got back home I noticed that things had been shuffled around. There was a chip clip on a bag of marshmallows (why was she in our cupboard?), my clothes in the closet were pushed aside and she told us that our wedding pictures were beautiful (she looked through our photo albums), and our computer was on. My books and notebooks that were on my bedroom dresser were moved around too. (we left the bedroom door closed but it was open when we got home)
I know none of these are really major things but it just kind of annoyed me that she went through our stuff. I don't mind that she looked at our albums but it was the fact that she didn't ask...she was supposed to come in and leave--not look around.
Should I say anything to her or forget it?
2007-10-12 06:50:04 · 15 answers · asked by Katie 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I think you really need to say something about this. Don't be confrontational about it, of course, but make it clear that the situation has made you uncomfortable. Ask her how SHE would feel if someone just starting rummaging around her home without permission. Tell her that if she wanted to see photos of you -- all she had to was ask.
I knew a realtor that did this type of stuff when he was showing a house during open-house -- and I HATED him for it and finally ended up giving him a piece of my mind about his invasion of other people's privacy.
2007-10-12 06:55:13 · answer #1 · answered by Yahzmin ♥♥ 4ever 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is defiantly something you need to confront her about. Make it a one-on-one thing. Tell her you expected her to feed the cat and leave and didn't want your privacy invaded. You would have been alright with showing her the wedding pictures but the rest was too personal. Some people don't get what "just feed the cat" means. They wouldn't mind you going through their stuff, so why would you mind them going through yours? Unless they are told other wise, they have no idea. Next time either have someone else take care of it or leave enough food for the cat for the whole vacation. (cat's can be alone for a long time, maybe 2 weeks if there's enough food and water... and clean litter).
2007-10-12 07:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
99% of people would snoop. It's not a surprise. It's even naive to think they won't. Prevention is better than cure. YOu should lock up all things you don't want her to see and lock your room. Locking your room is the most important thing when you have other people in your home. Things in your room are so personal and private, you shouldn't allow people walking into it and looking at them. A worst case scenario is they might even steal something which you might not realise until much later and won't know who did it.
I don't recommend saying anything to her about it. If you still want her to sit your cat in the future, just be more careful. Remove all private items, and lock them in your room. As for the computer, unplug the monitor and keep it (plus the mouse) in your locked room. By your actions, ie hiding personal things, she will get it that you don't like her snooping.
2007-10-12 22:36:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can imagine that you not only feel annoyed, but almost violated! This woman who you trusted to come into your PRIVATE residence put her nose in where it did not belong.
If I were faced with this situation, I would invite her over for a short tea and gently explain to her that you were upset by her going through your private belongings. I wouldn't allow her to watch over the cat or house while you're away. Perhaps you could tell her that you're sorry it had to come to this, but you feel too uncomfortable just to let this slip by.
Good luck with this, and I hope that you'll never have to feel like this again. You shouldn't have to after all.
2007-10-12 07:24:09 · answer #4 · answered by Steph 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should say something, but in a nice way. she was givin the key to feed your cat and that only. it is an invasion of privacy to go through someone's things and i don't think she would like it.
Just ask her if there was a reason she needed to go in the bedroom... like if there was a problem or something.
2007-10-12 06:59:36 · answer #5 · answered by Magik 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would have felt uncomfortable knowing someone had made themself too much at home while no one was there. If you feel uncomfortable saying something to her then maybe you should have your cat boarded next time you have to go somewhere. Else find someone else you feel more comfortable with to take care of the cat.
2007-10-12 07:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's definitely invasion of privacy. I would mention it to her and say that it made you uncomfortable, and maybe throw in that you can't find a certain book or something because it was moved. Don't ask her to sit for you again.
2007-10-12 07:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by Angie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh good lord, that's my worst nightmare come true! I always get nervous about my cat sitter snooping around but my husband has told me not to worry about it -- now I feel vindicated!
I wouldn't say anything about it to her, but I definitely would not ask her to cat sit anymore.
Good luck with it.
2007-10-12 10:44:04 · answer #8 · answered by The Skin Horse (formerly ll2) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say something and never have her care for your cats again. If you can't trust her in your house alone how can you trust her with your cats?
2007-10-12 07:00:35 · answer #9 · answered by hoppykit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
considering that she brought up the subject on her own about being "snoopy" I think you should have set the record straight, at that time, that your items are personal and no one has the right to invade your private areas
2007-10-12 07:00:12 · answer #10 · answered by Eric W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋