My little brother is pissing me off.?

Question

My brother is 19 years old and thinks he knows everything about everything and I swear to god I am about to just tell him not to talk to me anymore because I get so sick and tired of his attitude. He is always complaining about how my parents won't give him money when they can barely support themselves. I need some help before I unleash my wrath on him! Btw I am 25 and NOT mooching off of my parents.

He will give a million and one excuses about why he can't move out. job doesnt pay well, wants to enjoy his last little bit of freedom before "real Life" starts on and on and on OMG

The wrath has been unleashed... and he just told me to stop being such an fing B and I told him to stop being such a whiny A.... Man you gotta love family

Well he just tole me whatever and decided to stop talking to me.... that is until he decides he wants something.

Answer 1

Well, you have a right to be angry with him. I am 20 and still living at home, but I do pay for all my stuff and by no means will I accept money from my parents. In fact, I will give them money if I have extra.

First off, if he doesn't have a job, hes as low as any politician in my eyes. If he does, hes probably slightly lower then that.

If he is unsatisfied with his life, such as being poor, get a job. There are lots and lots of places that will hire, and alot of them will pay for training. And for him to ask your parents for money, when they took care of him for 19 years, thats kinda pathetic. He is ungrateful, selfish, greedy, and lazy among the words that come to mind. In my opinion, he should be paying rent and all that for the way he acts, according to you.

There is only one real way to fix this. Talk to your parents. Now this is if he doesn't have a job, car, life etc. Talk to them and try convincing them to give him ultamatums. Such as, you have to have a job within a month. This time of year is the best for jobs, even at part time, just because of the holiday season. Then, if he doesnt have a car, he can ride the bus, borrow your parents car or something for a week or 2, then he has to get his own car, and he has to pay his own insurance and gas. That seems to be something that parents do nowadays, get the kid a car and pay for everything else.

If he says yes, then he can stay. If he disagrees to anything, then he has a month to get out. My friend had this happen to him when he was 16, he had to be in college or searching for a college by the time he was 17, or they were going to boot him. So he did, but then he moved out anyways at 17 cause he didnt want to deal with the rules. This is something your parents will have to do, otherwise he'll be at home for a long, long time. Give rules that slightly annoying, it gives the incentive to move out and better yourself.

So yeah, thats my thoughts. I would talk to your parents first. Come up with rules and what not. If they refuse and have excuses as to why they don't want to. Then you come up with your own plan, and then unleash it on your brother. Sometimes someone needs to hear it from someone close.

Hope this helps.

EDIT: I just read your other posts. This is a time that you must insult his intelligence and manhood. Someone who reacts like that needs to be smacked around. He's 19. Life as far as im concerned starts at 16. Responsibilities start piling up, your pressured into getting a job and money which most people want at that age, etc.

So basically he's saying hes a whiny little kid who refuses to grow up cause hes scared of the big bad world and what it might do to him? "Oh no, I have to hold onto mommies hand till im 50 cause I don't wanna grow up."

(I remember thinking that when I started working at 16. Well, actually I did stuff when I was 10 around the neighborhood so on the weekends I could do stuff. )

So basically he's going to live at home for the rest of his life cause its easier?

Well, the bottom line is, he's probably scared, though he won't admit, see excuses. The excuses are a way to hide the real problem. Someone at the age of 19, especially guys, should want to move out, want to better themselves, want to get a good job, want to break away from mommy and daddy. It sounds to me that hes stuck in an age of about 13-15.

I can say this for a fact cause my aunt, whos 43, still lives at home with her mom. She has the exact excuses, Its too hard, job doesnt pay enough, I couldn't support myself, etc. And she is stuck in an age of about 11-13. She doesn't know how to interact with people, she doesnt know how to take jokes, and she gets worse and worse as time goes by cause she hides in her room. Just a thought.

Answer 2

Well I feel for you...I know what this is like I am 37 my brother is 38 and he still mooches off our parents and despite my advise and profession as a behavioral health specialist for 20 years my mom still enables my brother to be dependent on her by giving in to him even when she has put herself in $60,000 debt for his family (he and his wife have 3 kids) I am a single parent of two teenagers and have never asked for a thing from my parents nor do I get child support. It's amazing how two people raised the same can be so different. I am so independent as you seem to be, but I hate to tell you there is nothing you can do to stop your brother from mooching I've tried everything now what has recently made my mom cut back some is she is in huge debt, they don't appreciate it and I've stopped being their 24/7 crisis worker. If there is a problem or someone needs intervention I tell them to call 911 or the crisis line (where I work) I am not their personal crisis intervention specialist anymore. Needless to say until your parents cut your brother off there is nothing you can do. It's very hard to watch your parents be taken advantage of but honestly they have to be the ones to let their no's be no's. Once they have established they are not his personal bank by following through and not giving in to his needs or wants you can just be supportive of their decision and tell them how proud you are of them for taking control of their lives and finances once again. Remind them of the reward in life is to enjoy their golden years with each other, travel, garden, do the things they used to love and couldn't afford to after having kids...encourage them to join a group or hobby, a class they'd enjoy together or individually. That will plant the seed and remind them they are done raising their children. That your brother needs to take the skills they've taught him and become successful at whatever it is he chooses to do with his life. Your parents will then remember their dreams they once had for the future and continue with their plans for after their children where grown up. They will appreciate it later trust me! Sometimes all it takes is a nudge in the right direction...

Answer 3

Unleash the wrath, but be kind, don't be ruthless.

He needs to grow up and in fact get a job to help his parents. He is a legal adult!

Little brother, time to join the real world and grow up.

My gosh, he is old enough to go into the service, to vote, so he is way old enough to get even a part time job and make his own money and pay rent!

Sick em sis!

Answer 4

Instead of turning your back on him by not talking to him, how about if you had a heart-to-heart talk with him? Explain to him patiently your parents' financial situation, tell him he should think of contributing in some way.
He is probably very insecure, and his attitude may be a defense mechanism for him to compensate for what he's not getting by way of family support. So don't ostracize him. Try to understand him. Be sympathetic. Be the big sister which you are. Take him into confidence.
Please don't give up on him. I'm sure with enough talking and discussing, you'll get him to grow up and be a support.
All the best to you!!

Answer 5

It sucks but you're just gonna have to deal with it. That's a sibling for you. If you're really concerned, try sitting him down and talking to him about what financial problems your parents are going through and how he's not making it any better by bugging them about money. If it's a really sensitive subject to you, don't be afraid to cry. I know my brothers take me serious when I cry. It definitely hits a soft spot with them. They know that it's really effecting me then. I know the pain that you're going through. I have a 15 year old brother, a 21 year old brother, and a 7 year old sister. I'm 19 by the way... My Brother and I cannot spend 3 hours with eachother without getting into an argument. He has moved out of the house before, because of me. We just do not get along, but when he comes to me and really lets me know how he's feeling (and I see his eyes start to fill up with tears) , my heart melts and I try my hardest to make him happy and comply with what he says. Try that approach. Don't yell at him or anything like that, cuz us 19 year olds LOVE to argue :) Sad, but true. It will only make him want to do it more. I'm sorry you're going through this with your family, but it's normal. Just be happy about that. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Seriously if you don't want to "unleash your wrath on him" there's not much you can do except ignore him.

I'd probably tell him to stop being such a lazy mooch and take care of himself.

Answer 7

So unleash a little, but try to unleash with a sense of love. Let him know why what he does is wrong. He's 19, and of course at that age we all think we know best. Tell him to get out on his own and see how easy it is.

Answer 8

just let him cry all he wants when he call you to complain about your parents are not giving him anything tell him to get a job also tell your parents to give him tough love make him move out and be a man if not he will never grow up

Answer 9

Maybe he needs to feel the wrath of a scorned woman.
Let him complain until he wears himself out.
As long as your parents, and you, aren't catering to him, or "enabling" him, then he's still going to have to do it for himself.
He's whining to see if there's any takers for the bait. Don't bite the hook. When he started with me, I think I'd have to remind him that he's an adult now, and has to do what adults do.

Answer 10

Tell him that if he's so smart, why doesn't he go get a job and earn his own money. There must be thousands of employers anxious to hire someone as smart as him. Then be ready to listen to his excuses.