I have been with my man for two years. He just recently started complaining to people that I don't have sex with him enough. I mean come on 1st off we live with his MOTHER ! We Do have sex though we have sex every 2-3 days mabie 4 sometimes, but he wants it like every day 3-4 times a day if he can get it! Yesterday out of the blue he comes up to me and says he knows what his problem is. He said his problem is me not paying him enough attention! He talks about me horriable to other people like we NEVER have sex and like I am so crule to him but I am not I love him! But should I make myself un confortiable and just **** him every day like he wants or should I do what all my family saies and put him to the boot ? I mean I am an intelligent young sexy (if I may say) woman. I feal like I do alot for this man. When I tried to move out last week for good resons he cried and said he needs me. I mean okay how much emmbarrasment over this do I have to take ? Is there any happy median ?
2007-10-12 06:07:38 · 46 answers · asked by michaelxx89 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are NOT in the wrong. If he wants to be with you, he needs to RESPECT you. It doesn't sound like that is happening if he's talking to his friends about your personal life together.
2007-10-12 06:11:53 · answer #1 · answered by whoever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, he has no right to say when, where, or how many times a day you put out. That's silly. Remember, you're the woman, you are in control here. In the end, men are led around quite well by women, you just need to learn how to abuse that.
If he's making such a big deal about it, turn it around the other way. Refuse sex for a week. Tell him that if it's that important to him, it will be so much sweeter anticipating it. Not only that, but relationships that are built on so much sex aren't always the best. I know this from experience.
Tell him that you think you've figured out your problem too, and it's him that's not paying enough attention to you. Turn it around. Tell him that you want to try something different this week, and challenge him to pamper you and treat you to a good time every night. If he's lucky, and proves he knows how to make YOU happy, then you can make him happy.
Relationships can't be one-sided - that's how they fall apart. If you're not happy, it's no good. If he can't shape up and solve the problem, then he either needs to get help or get out.
2007-10-12 06:17:38 · answer #2 · answered by Frappuccino Valencia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First it sounds like he has some boundary issues. He should never bad mouth you to other people, that will destroy the trust in your relationship. Second, he may be right maybe there is a need there that you are not fufilling in his mind. Not sexually but emotionally. A man first and foremost needs to be respected, are you giving him what he needs as a man, or are you giving him what you think he wants, based on what you would want? Sex is very important to a man, but before that there needs to be a trust between you that you both will fill each others needs. Why don't you want him as much as he wants you. Sometimes sex is a sacrifice, you may not want at the beginning but you can get yourself in the mood. Tell him how he can help to accomplish that. What do you need from him? If he washes the dishes, or helps you clean up will that help? The smallest things can get a woman relaxed enough to get in the mood.
2007-10-12 06:16:44 · answer #3 · answered by Tre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him about all this. Tell him why you want to leave and then settle on days to have sex. After a while your sex drive goes down. I've been with my man for 4 years and it's not the same like it was and it never will be we've already come to terms to that but he's not going around talking about it or me to anyone. He complains that we don't have it enough sure but what guy doesn't. It's called maturity and he needs to realize that. It doesn't sound like he's to mature still living with his mom. Maybe you two should find our own place.
2007-10-12 06:12:25 · answer #4 · answered by Wendie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give the man the boot! I am not sure how old you two are, but if you are living with his mother he really can't have that much to offer in support and his talking about you the way he does to other people about things that are no one's business but yours I don't think this guy is a keeper. You deserve better! He may cry when you leave but this is a controlling behavior and I would say that it will only get worse the longer you are together. Cut your losses girl and find a better man!
2007-10-12 06:12:34 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, you don't need to be living with him and his mom. Big hell no there.
Second of all, if he is in his late teens or early 20's then he is gonna want to have sex like a porno star. Talking to him will not help. You either give it up, or let him go. Because he will most likely start pleasing himself, and then getting it from some where else, if he hasn't already started doing that.
You shouldn't have to have sex when you don't want to. He should respect you, but some men don't. And don't see what the big deal is. If only we could pound on their walls like they do ours, then they would see what the deal is.
2007-10-12 06:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by Babylesley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all........... how old are you? Because it sounds like your'e pretty young by reading your dialouge! You have many mispelled words........ I hope that you were just in a rush and typing fast.......... but anyways if you are over the age of 21...... then here is my advice........ if you guys live with his mother, then sweetie, you need to leave this fool alone anyway! everyone's sex drive is different....... personally, I think having sex 3 times a week is more than enough! But again.......everyone's sex drive is different! Now if he wants to have sex 3-4 times a day......... that's a little much. i dont think that you should just have sex with him because thats what he wants.......... and again, YOU LIVE WITH THIS MOTHER! i mean come on......... should what he want really be revelant???? Leave that loser alone, and let him bring some other woman to his mother house and have sex with her all day!
2007-10-12 06:18:02 · answer #7 · answered by Nik 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wants you for sex; he's a sex-addict. If he loved you he would understand the situation that you are in and give you enough time for the two of you to work out something. Sex isn't the only thing in a relationship to look forward to. So no you are not wrong, he is.
2007-10-12 06:21:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man is a control freak that needs to be in controlled.He is using the sex thing just to get to you.It is a form of controlled.he wants to see how far he can push you.
Tell him if he needs that much go and get it .Tell him unless you feel up to it you are not on a time schedule for sex .
I bet he will ask if you are screwing around on him.
At this point the control freak will change his attitude and will become even worst.There is no changing a control freak I know I loved one.
2007-10-12 06:19:20 · answer #9 · answered by Daralyn W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just a piece of meat to him, Sorry to say, but you are wasting your life on a man that will most likely never grow up!
Your first mistake was moving in with him in the first place, especially with him and his mommy.
You need to be an independent person before you can be a part of an adult couple, he does also.
Kick him to the curb and don't waste your life with boys that will not be men.
Good Luck and God Bless!
2007-10-12 06:15:49 · answer #10 · answered by C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need Family Counseling. The Counselor will have your man see a specialist if he needs one.
Does he have a job??? Some men get this way when they don't have a job to occupy their time.
Are you sure he is not taking Viagra behind your back. This has been happening a lot.
2007-10-12 06:14:09 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋