Thank you notes for wedding gifts?

Question

Another wedding gift question. I am appalled at how many happy couples do not send thank you notes for wedding gifts.
One bride in my husband's family told another relative that she was "too busy". Apparently her time is far more important than the time, money, and energy I expended to send her eight dinner plates of her everyday china.
I don't want to do anything to encourage this trend, which I think is selfish, greedy, slovenly, and inexcusable. But on the other hand, I would like to know if these people got their gifts. This is my idea. Some store which offers a gift registry should have the bride and groom fill in a short reason that they are choosing each gift, e.g., we love this contemporary silverware pattern. Then, when a gift-giver has had a gravy ladle from the registry sent to the couple, the store registry can send the gift-giver a note saying "the gravy ladle you chose from the registry was sent today. The couple told us that they love this contemporary pattern."

Answer 1

Thats not a bad idea. I know what you mean. You just want to know whether they got the gift or not! When someone does not send a thank you card for a wedding gift, my opinion of them instantly drops a few notches.

Answer 2

Thank you notes for wedding gifts?

Another wedding gift question. I am appalled at how many happy couples do not send thank you notes for wedding gifts.
One bride in my husband's family told another relative that she was "too busy". Apparently her time is far more important than the time, money, and energy I expended to send her eight dinner plates of her everyday china.
I don't want to do anything to encourage this trend, which I think is selfish, greedy, slovenly, and inexcusable. But on the other hand, I would like to know if these people got their gifts. This is my idea. Some store which offers a gift registry should have the bride and groom fill in a short reason that they are choosing each gift, e.g., we love this contemporary silverware pattern. Then, when a gift-giver has had a gravy ladle from the registry sent to the couple, the store registry can send the gift-giver a note saying "the gravy ladle you chose from the registry was sent today. The couple told us that they love this contemporary pattern."

Answer 3

there are some high end company's that do a pre printed thank you that is generated from what someone buys from the store and it is mock signed from a pre signature stamp made by the couple and put in envelopes and after the wedding date or the close of the registry they are sent to the bride and groom now that costs a little more ten some other places ie walmart or target . now i am one i send thank you cards to everyone i am in my mid 20s but it was something my mom always was big on thanks for lunch the weekend ec. now if you want to give a back handed slap to these people if you dint hear from them in 6 months that's how long wedding gifts have to send you a thank you note send them a note saying how much fun you had at there wedding and hope they had fun and loved the gift you had given them. keep in mind the bride and groom at times don't bring the gifts back to there homes sometimes cards get taken or fall off some one takes the gift so a great thing to do wrapped in the gift itself write your name and address then wrap it

Answer 4

I, too, would like a hand written thank you. In this day and age of computers, I would settle with an e-mail from the receiver. I was married 6 years ago and sent out thank yous. Since then I have attended 6 weddings and have yet to receive a thank you from any of the couples. Not to mention bridal showers and baby showers. I have been thanked in person at showers, which is fine, but when I do not watch the person open the gift I want a thank you.

Answer 5

Your idea is clever from the marketing standpoint; it could persuade couples to choose to register at a store that offered this service. But from a gift giver's perspective, gag me with a spoon. In your own words, "the time, money, and energy I expended" deserve better. Thank you cards with preprinted messages are bad enough; computer generated junk mail is insulting. Only a personal, handwritten note will do.

Answer 6

I like your idea, it sounds good, but nothing beats a personal thank you, written by the couple. I agree with you that it is really rude for couples not to send a thank you, yes it is a boring job writing them, yes it takes time, but it is the polite thing to do when people have made an effort to come to your wedding and bring you a gift.

Answer 7

Oh you are so right. Baby showers are just as bad.
Why is this trend on the rise? Are people getting more self-centered? It is sooo rude to not send a thank you card. Even worse was an email I got from an unmarried mother to be (of three)who had her shower at work - it was sent to every one at the job: " If you attended my shower this afternoon thank you for the gift". I have since heard she is working on baby #4 (she's still not married).

Answer 8

Considering one is never ever required to give gifts for a couple whether they can attend or not, your time money and energy were because you WANTED to give them a nice gift.

How long ago was the wedding?

Do you give gifts just to get thank you cards? Or do you give gifts from the heart, because you care about the couple and want to help them in their new home and new life as husband and wife?

I feel sorry for those who complain about not getting a thank you card from someone. YES IT IS RUDE NOT TO SEND ONE, but I think it is incredibly stupid to piss and moan about a thank you card not received.

I have never expected a thank you card, and will never expect one no matter how much or what I give to anyone I give a gift to. I would never ever complain about not receiving a thank you card. IF anything, I'd just ask how they are enjoying my gift IF I was worried if they got it or not.

And frankly, the one bride in your husband's family who was "too busy", may actually have been TOO busy to do them! There are FAR more important things going on in their lives than to worry about a little thank you card that gets opened, read, and tossed out in the same motion. Changing her name, changing her accounts, her license, their health plans, their information at work, there are SO MANY more important things going on.

As a June 2008 Bride, I would like to say that I DO plan on sending out thank you cards as soon as I get a gift (IF I get gifts). I plan on sending one out to EVERYBODY who attends my wedding, whether they give a gift or not. I also plan on sending a thank you card to those who could not attend but sent a gift.

As for your idea, I find it incredibly impersonal. I'd rather receive NO thank you note, or a handwritten/typed personal thank you note, than something like that.

Answer 9

I recently received a thank-you note for a wedding gift... well, sort of. It was a "form" thank-you written to all who gave gifts. Very impersonal. And it focused more on telling us where we could view their wedding pictures online than thanking us. Sure it was a thank-you, but it was a cop-out sent by a couple too lazy to write personal notes to each gift giver.

Answer 10

Thank you notes should be sent out NO LATER than 12 months after the date of the event. In your notes, thank the sender of the gift, and apologize for the delay with the explanation of the new home, which will also provide you an opportunity to give them your new address.