My parents and my whole family are Witnesses but theirs something wrong with me. I kno they have the truth but I can't be friends with the brothers and sisters. After the meetings I just stand there and people say hi to me and I say hi back but that's all. I know Jehovah has a clean organization, but I don't think that I'm a good Witness and I don't want to mess them up too.
There are things I like that I shouldn't like. I like to read a lot of books and some of the books I have to sneak into the house becaues they go against bible teachings. I just like to learn alot and I don't get enough from the publications to keep me interested. Even my dad says that I know more than most Elders (hes an Elder). He keeps telling me I should concentrate on "deeper things" but I'm not supposed to go beyond the publications. Anyway, even if I did its not like I could be an Elder because I'm a girl.
What should I do? I don't want to be disfellowshipped, but I should be?
2007-10-12 05:02:35 · 62 answers · asked by Jane T 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Sorry sweetie.. .but that religion is totally flawed. Run as soon as you can.
2007-10-12 05:06:31 · answer #1 · answered by USMCstingray 7 · 14⤊ 11⤋
Nearly everyone has considerable doubts about religious teaching in their younger years. This is true whether you are a Witness or a Catholic - and I am neither.
I have read some Witness publications including their little blue book on evolution. I'm sure you have seen a copy of it somewhere. It is a farrago of misrepresentation, delusion, bad logic and misunderstanding. If that is the standard of all their work, and as far as I can see it is, your doubts and dissatisfaction are well founded.
Listen to jesse marshall. The only way the Kingdom Hall cult can keep adherents is to keep them ignorant and their heads stuffed with the material they produce. So they insist on you reading only the Bible, which is fine, and their publications, which are frankly, rubbish.
If you do decide to leave, let me suggest that you do not rush off into some nightmare of booze, drugs and all the rest. Join up with some non-cultic Church which does not insist on it's members being ignorant and permits or even encourages true learning.
Someone suggested the Methodists, which is a good possibility. I'm not a Methodist either. You may find that there are many books which Kingdom Hall says go against bible teaching but in fact are only against their peculiar version of it.
2007-10-13 00:00:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Not a JW. It seems that your dad is a elder/pastor and according to what you've mentioned he's not bringing any comfort regarding a common ground with you. I know for a fact the JW do not discourage researching so there's no merit on them to disfellowship you (if thats the case). Sadly, it seems your having a crisis of conscience. Struggling to finds one's identity is very difficult especially if you've been persuaded to think a certain way where at one time you found comfort but now you seem to be changing your mentality and not finding a common ground with what you grew up learning.
Obviously though, you are religous so try speaking to people from your fellowship and especially God!
I hope you find comfort in whatever decision you make and enjoy the balance of it.
Take Care Everybody.
2007-10-12 09:20:17 · answer #3 · answered by YXM84 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Being a teenager is hard! I don't understand why you think you should be disfellowshipped??? I assume you are baptized?
No one is perfect, we all have to constantly work on what we view for entertainment, movies, books, music. Is every single one in line with Jehovah's standards? Most likely not, unless we are only watching children's movies, books, etc and even those have a lot of spiritism.
I was a huge bookworm in High School. I even worked in the Library. Reading can be very addictive, so we do need to watch what we are feeding our minds. If you are feeling this quilty about what you read, then maybe you need to prayerfully consider if it is good association for you. Unless, it's books on pornography or spiritism, I can't imagine that it is a disfellowshipping matter.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with reading literature that is not printed by the Society. I'm sure the Society has an extensive liabrary. How do you think they can quote from so many different books and articles? I personally love reading encyclopedias. I might add that because you are a minor living at home, you parents do have the right to monitor what you read. Believe me, I got a few books taken away when I lived at home. Your Dad is right about concentrating on "deeper things". We just had our C.O. and he gave the talk about Jesus family...Wow...talk about really digging for deeper things and how we can apply them today. Great talk! Have you heard it?
It does seem that you are perhaps spending too much time reading and not socializing with others. This can be dangerous. Everyone needs to have friends. But to have friends, you have to be a friend. Don't make everyone come up to you. Just go up to them a start talking. If you appear standoffish with people, they may feel uncomfortable with you.
If you feel that you can't even pray to Jehovah about the matter, then please speak with your parents or to an older one or elder you feel comfortable with. Believe me, you will feel so much better if you do.
You are part of our worldwide family, our sister. We do not want to lose you to the world. Nothing is worth giving up your good standing with Jehovah. One brother said that "a smart person learns from their mistakes, but a wise person learns from mistakes of others." I hope you are a wise person and do not listen to many on here that have left the truth, due to thinking to highly of themselves and not relying on Jehovah. Do they seem happy? I think not.
2007-10-12 09:07:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
You are going to have to make a choice. Either put the non-JW literature aside, and keep your parents & family, or lose them through your readings if you decide to follow other paths instead. JW disfellowshiping can be a traumatic thing, especially if it's within your own family. You're brave to be exploring other faiths, just know the repercussions ahead of time.
2007-10-15 08:33:23 · answer #5 · answered by ccrider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd encourage you to talk openly and honestly with your parents, they are there to help you.
When you say you read books that go against Bible teachings, it makes me wonder what types of books you are reading...are they fiction, possibly popular teen age books?
As far as the publications not keeping your interest, have you tried really studying prophecies. To me, those are so amazing, they are like a puzzle, and it is so thrilling when all the pieces fit together to form the whole picture. The ones in Daniel are some of my favorite. You seem like a very intelligent girl. Pray to Jehovah, and start digging into the deeper Biblical subjects.
You also seem like you may be shy and have some self esteem issues. Does that contribute to why you don't get beyond 'hi' at the KH? You said you don't want to 'mess them up'. Is that because of your interests?
Your conscience is obviously bothering you, which is a good thing. This means that it is sensitive, which is what we as Christians want. You know that attitude is the determining factor in any kind of 'discipline' in the congregation. You don't seem unrepentant. I can't encourage you enough to go and talk openly with your parents. They will want to know you are having hard times. They love you and want to see you succeed.
2007-10-12 05:42:45 · answer #6 · answered by izofblue37 5 · 7⤊ 2⤋
One of the reasons I left Jehovah's Witnesses, is because they seem to like to avoid people, this includes disfellowshipping.
Sometimes I would sit in the KH like yourself, and not feel like going up to anyone and saying something. It's weird, but it was like you had to go say something to others, or you would be called "unfriendly."
Witnesses were not only about studying the Bible, but also about becoming part of the witness culture, and developing a witness "personality." And so if you were different, people would not trust you as much. This is another reason why witnesses are "repressive"; you cannot truly be who you are deep down inside.
I moved out of my territory 20 years ago, far enough away so that no one bothered me, or came to my door wondering where I was; which no one ever did. I was fine with that, and I am still fine with it.
I am not suggesting that you leave, but becoming inactive could help you come to grips with things.
I also would suggest that you go to college and earn a degree in something you love, considering how much you like to read.
Hope this helps. :)
Pauley
2007-10-13 15:43:33 · answer #7 · answered by Pauley _ 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Just in time for Dad >Tomorrow's lesson (10/14/07)
"Parents, Train Your Children With LOVE " ...
(Elders aren't perfect and continue to learn) *
I'm a great-grandmother & trained 4 great children
(all good, hardworking, successful ) yet I wish so much
that I had applied MORE of the Bible counsel found in
our publications such as this one. (Sept 1 issue)
EVERY PARENT SHOULD READ THIS ONE
Example > See the answers to questions such as
WHY parents SHOULD consider their children's
concerns when making rules...
Why, even Jehovah God is kind and considerate of us
as demonstrated at Genesis19: 17-22 when dealing with
Lot and family.
How?
Jehovh extended much kindness when Lot requested
an alternative city
to flee to before destoying Sodom/Gomorrah!
LESSON: There ARE times when a parent can consider the
CHILD'S concerns when lovingly establishing family rules
(btw, RULES is NOT a bad word)
A Christian parent MUSTconsider a child's strengths AND
weaknesses and USE that knowledge in a POSITIVE way
to train them.
Subheading: 'Encourage Open Communication' is very helpful...
One suggestion given: Talk with children regarding the
advantages & disadvantages of a situation so they
can see for themselves the best outcome!
Promotes child's ability to THINK ( Proverbs 1:1-4)
Ofcourse, there's much more. Please don't miss this lesson!
Hebrews 10:24,25
Botton line:
Train Children with the consideration Jehovah gives
His Children, a noble goal for imperfect parents.
Please linger in prayer tonight. Pour out all your concerns with
freeness to the Hearer of prayer..
Give your Dad a hug (Not easy being a parent)
Take down the barrier you may have unconscientiously put up and
enjoy wholesome fellowship with those who love Jehovah.
...I don't know you personally, but I CARE ...
Wish I could give you a hug (agape)
*PS > I seriously doubt that Dad meant to COMPARE your knowledge
with that of an elder. Likely only trying to stress that YOU
are accountable because of the knowledge YOU actually have.
Btw,
Three sisters in my congregation were just approved to be
'publishers of the Good News' and their inner JOY is
evident.
Each one had previous difficulties due to former lifestyles which
caused them misery and had to be overcome.
With Jehovah's help, all 3 are happier than ever, which is
the experience of all servants of Jehovah.
Why not set a personal goal?
2007-10-13 09:22:41 · answer #8 · answered by Merry 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I too don't have friends in the congregation.Different ones say hi if that.
I used to go home from the meetings in tears.But I have come to realise that it is Jehovah God that I am worshipping.It is not the people that matter but Jehovah and making his heart rejoice(Pro27:11)
You sound as though your relationship with Jehovah needs to be closer. You need to turn to him in prayer much more often and rely on him to direct you and help you.
Have you read both Insight books from front to back? Have you read the Proclaimers book? Have you read all the older publications available in book form and magazine?
Jehovah knows what we need and he provides it in abundance. If you really have read ever single publication why don't you maybe increase your ministry?
Why would you want to jeopardise your relationship with Jehovah? Dont let Satan put dangerous ideas into your head. Focus on what you have and believe me we have alot!!!
2007-10-12 18:43:32 · answer #9 · answered by lillie 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You are facing a painful dilemma. Of course you love your family and don't want to be estranged from them, but you are afraid that your ideas will make you unacceptable to them. I think your family is more important to you than the other members of your fellowship.
You will never be satisfied with simply accepting your church's official teachings without question. You have to analyze and understand things for yourself. This is actually a good thing. And, you can't really make a decision without knowing what the alternatives are. You will need to study things on your own.
At some point you should probably talk to an elder that can understand your concerns and attempt to answer your questions in a way that satisfies you.
I admit I'm not JW and don't agree with some of their practices and doctrines, but I don't want to tell you what to do or believe. I sense that you need to make up your own mind, and I honor that.
2007-10-12 05:27:09 · answer #10 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 6⤊ 3⤋
Dearest Sister Jane,
As one of JWs, we all know that all of us like things we shouldn't like. Remember, we are imperfect. Even the apostle Paul had to battle with himself because "...for the good he wishes to do and yet the bad he do not wish is what he practice..." (Romans 7:19). There is nothing wrong with you. Wanting to expand your knowledge is not a sin or cause for disfellowship. Odd that you even thought of that.
In some ways, i'm like you. I love to read! I love to read things that i can actually learn things from. I love reading books that challenges my ability to think. Yes, sometimes i do read books or reading materials that are beyond the publications. Why? Because like you, I have the urge to learn more...and more especially when it comes to the Bible. What do i read that are beyond the publictions? ENCYCLOPEDIAS; and i do surf the net to gain more information. I love to study... even study the parts given to the elders and MS. I sometimes help my dad and brother deliver their talks on stage. Doing research and outline for their talks but i do not at all feel that i know more then them.
The difference between us though, the publications (so many of them) doesn't bore me. Most especially the book JWs, Proclaimers of God's Kingdom and Bible prophecies.
Jane, you yourself said, "i know they have the truth..." obviously, you know you have the truth and doubts are quite normal. Reading and studying materials that are "against Bible teachings" will not help you make the truth your own. There is nothing wrong with knowing and wanting to learn more; I mean some are just gifted with the passion of getting more knowledge. Knowledge is your strenght.... But Do Not Let Your Strength Become Your Weakness!!!
You must ask yourself what your motives are? Especially reading things that are against Bible teachings. You said yourself "you sneak in books that are against Bible teachings..." then why read it?
Please talk to your parents...especially that your Dad is an elder. However, talking to other elders and some mature sisters may help a lot as well. Most of all, pray to Jehovah for guidance. Have him search your heart.
You are a good person.... because obviously this is bothering you. Your bible trained conscience is working. Seek Jah's help.
Regarding your relationship with the brothers and sisters in our meetings, why not take the first step in making conversations with others? It's hard... especially if you're the shy type... but try anyway. :-)
I hope things will work out for you! (AGAPE :-))
2007-10-12 09:46:35 · answer #11 · answered by Agape 3 · 5⤊ 3⤋