She's out of my leauge in looks and personality, but for some reason she cares for me. she's a friend but, she shows a lil bit of jealousy when I talk about other women, she does it playfully. Like an idiot one day I broke and told her how I felt about her, long story short, after she got her breath back, she told me she wasn't ready and she just got out of a relationship a couple of months ago. heart broken, I started treating her like one of the guy's and a friend but now she's starting to flirt show jealousy and interest like she did before I told her how I felt. It messes with my head, im trying to be strong but I wan't her. I can call her cute names like babe, honey, sweetheart.. etc. and she doesn't even mind and she's even said them back a couple of times, but I feel like im going crazy not knowing where to stand. Theres a lot of little deatails im leaving out but, From a 3rd person perspective please tell me im not wasting my time or chasing something thats not there.
2007-10-12 04:40:14 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are worried about getting the upper hand, then you don't have a chance.
2007-10-12 04:42:51 · answer #1 · answered by buffytou 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What upper hand? Relationships do not work if one person controls the other, they are a partnership where each is equal.
She knows you are interested already, but she is trying to figure out just what you are interested in. You may be interested, but the whole upper hand thing makes you seem like a control freak, and not many women actually want to be robots.
If you want her, tell her so in so many words. If you want to keep her, stop worrying about who is in charge. The fact is, she will be at least half the time. That's life.
After thirty years of married life I can tell you that most of the time the smartest thing a man can say is "Yes, dear." If you have some problem with that being unmanly, you are not ready for a mutually dependent relationship anyway.
2007-10-12 04:49:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Upper hand"? What is this, a poker game? Stop playing mind games with yourself and this woman. She was surprised when you told her how you felt, and frankly, she knows darn good and well that your feelings haven't changed. Either she's starting to feel the same way (possible), or she's using you because she knows she has you tied around her little finger. PS: There is no "out of my league" if she really cares for you.
Figure out what you want from this relationship, and then ASK for it. Tell her what you want, and don't accept the waffling. You have as much control over this relationship as she does, you know -- time to start taking control of your end of the relationships. Either she cares for you or she doesn't. If she "thinks" she does but "isn't sure", it means she's still looking. If she's still looking, then it's up to you: Do you want to continue being her doormat? Or do you want to go invest your time elsewhere?
2007-10-12 04:50:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should just remain friends and see where it takes you, I know it can be frustrating because your feelings are much more than friends but oftentimes if there is something there, a feeling deeper than friendship, it will come out in time, it could be years from now or months but I would go on as if she is your buddy and at least now she knows how you feel, at least you didn't hide it. She sounds VERY FUN! I would totally enjoy being around her and not let the feelings for her get in your way, if she begins to feel stronger about you, I think you'll know. That could be what shes trying to tell you now, in a~~ not so obvious way, but yet in a playful and fun way. Remain friends and see what happens! Friends often last longer than girl friends, she sounds like a KEEPER!
2007-10-12 04:55:43 · answer #4 · answered by darlin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It won't happen. Women always have the upper hand because we have what men want. But it sounds like you guys are just kids and it's referred to as "puppy love".
It's part of the maturity process and everyone goes through it. No girl appreciates a guy playing games. Either ask her for a date and prepare to take the relationship wherever or get over her.
2007-10-12 04:44:12 · answer #5 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't necessarily think you are wasting your time.
Maybe step back a bit, try to keep your feelings down. Work on maintaining the friendship and see where it goes.
Broken hearts a hard to deal with and you wouldn't want her to jump in to something with you not recovering from the previous relationship... Let time take its coarse.
Best of luck
2007-10-12 04:46:04 · answer #6 · answered by stayc 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, she KNOWS how you feel, and it seems as though she's basically cool with it.
What you can do is learn to be cool with it too. There's no point in trying to pretend that you don't fancy her any more, so why not just play it as it is:
You like her. She must like you at least a bit. She probably thinks about it, and she's not rejecting you in any real sense. Perhaps one day your chance will come. All you need to do is not screw up until it does. Be her friend for a while until she decides to see what you'd be like. It happens.
CD
2007-10-12 04:50:52 · answer #7 · answered by Super Atheist 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG that sounds like my husband and i... look if she cares for you she will come around just don't wait for her and don't jump to her every time she needs you. make her feel that she is special but you can't hang on forever, just keep doing your own thing... i know this might be out off the subject but my husband had asked me out over 1,000 times and i kept telling him no no no after 6 years of being his friend and him going out with other women i started to get jealous and have feelings for him till finally he asked me out one last time and i said yes and that's all we got married 7 months ago..good luck
2007-10-12 04:46:18 · answer #8 · answered by R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't treat her any differently. Healthy relationships do not have an upper or lower hand (friendship or otherwise).
You told her how you feel and now the ball is in her court.
2007-10-12 04:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat_137 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do a test ... like do nothing about it for aslong as you can stand.preferable a month or two,just be a friend.then say that you like another girl and see if she gets jealous. if she does then MAYBE you have something to work on thier.if not then just give it up.the first part of getting over someone is acceptance
2007-10-12 04:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all u are wasting ur time chasing her down, wen she is playing hard to get, and secondly STOP calling her babe, sweetheart, honey an wat ever else u call her. From a girl point of view knowing dat u like me so much, i can take advantage of the situation, off telling u wat to do and wat not to do and who not to talk to. And wen u say dat she is out of ur league in looks and personality, do u mean dat she is to good looking for u, if so, dat was a mistake of u to do, looks are deceiving, and personality yours is tooooo dam sweet, and her's, i have noting to say.
2007-10-12 05:06:57 · answer #11 · answered by Malika J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋