My sister-in-laws, brother in laws and in-laws all treat me like I'm this weirdo person because a long time ago I dealt with situational depression (my parents had gotten divorced & I had a really stressful job) but I am fine now.They are all so freaking disfunctional (screaming/yelling/fighting/lying/backstabbing) but act like everything is perfect and we all love & respect each other so much. Well, I don't play that crap. Therefore I am treated like the black sheep. My husband and I do not want children, so therefore we are "stingy, selfish, and mean"....mean being because my inlaws want more grandkids and my sister/brother inlaws want their kids to have more cousins. Sounds like a STUPID reason for me to have kids! They wouldn't be raising/feeding/paying for a baby and I don't want to either. Why are the pressuring me so much? Will I ever get them to see Im not crazy and get any respect from them? My husband has stood up for us mant times inwhich they all say "what r u talking about
2007-10-12 03:36:50 · 9 answers · asked by SadToday22 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Good for your husband! When they don't understand what he's talking about, give them specifics. Each time the matter of your not having kids comes up, remind them that the matter is closed for discussion because it's a personal decision; if they want more little ones around, let them have more. When you know a get-together is really going to be bad, then the two of you just stay home. If someone really wants to know why, be honest and tell them you've both had enough of the nonsense.
2007-10-12 07:10:17 · answer #1 · answered by Lady G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never had children for anyone else, you will resent them all their lives. You sound like you are handling things just fine but somehow want your in-laws blessings. You don't need their permission to live your life the way you want it. Stop giving them so much personal information and distance yourself. You and your husband have made a decision together and so stick to it. But no one else has to agree, allow them their feelings. That doesn't have anything to do with reality.
You cannot control other people only yourself. And you cannot demand respect from anyone. Simply respect yourself and ignore them.
2007-10-12 03:59:23 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not abnormal for parents to want grandchildren but it is ultimately up to the couple...end of story right at the moment ..if they say something then calmly reply and get over it. THAT subject is no excuse for you to disrespect them or create war that will follow you. After all, you are not the only ones with feelings and if you are living like that you will get negative feedback. I have a voice you do not..nah nah na nah nah....doesn't cut it in any relationship keeping in mind that every single relationship takes work for things to go better.
2007-10-12 03:59:58 · answer #3 · answered by GoodQuestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to have self confidence when you meet them, just be yourself and show them that they're wrong. That you're not like what they're thinking.
This is your life with your husband. And the two of you know what's best for you. And if you make decision that you don't want to have children, then they have to accept that, and respect that.
Just ignore them, don't listen to what they say. Sometimes people want to interfere someone's life, or worst, they think they want to help someone by saying this and that. They don't realize that they annoyed them by doing that.
So be strong, and good luck :)
2007-10-12 04:45:05 · answer #4 · answered by Tatya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, husbands can now and returned be a tad insensitive, my husband used to call me obese cheeks (the backside cheeks) as quickly as we first have been given married now that I even have gained a tiny little bit of weight after 3 infants he does not say it because of the fact he's familiar with i an mushy approximately issues like that. i think of your hubby is purely kidding with you approximately your weight and your breasts and the 'pooch' remark, i'm effective in case you informed him the way it hurts you he might in no way say it returned. As for the no longer getting in touch with the youngsters, all men are distinctive, some bond whilst toddler is in the womb and a few bond whilst the toddler is older and can work together with him. men have not got maximum of those nurture hormones dealing with them like we do, whenever you breastfeed oxytocin is released into your blood which permits you to sense on the factor of your toddler and sense that distinctive bond. men have not got that benefit and could build the bond. this is particularly possibly is grow to be somewhat frightened approximately you after your c-section and as long as he knew the toddler grow to be ok, he might somewhat stay with you. once you're saying your husband isn't in touch with the youngsters, do you ask him to become in touch extra? He could be assuming you desire to do it, or he could be lazy wherein case you are able to desire to speak to him approximately how substantial this is to you that he gets extra in touch and can provide a harm now and returned. tell him you are able to desire to re-cost you battery too and desire time far off from the youngsters and flow on your loved ones now and returned.
2016-12-18 05:34:03 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
than keep your distance. they are master manipulators at believing their own lies. in all honesty u are doing whats best for you and ur life and not living by their standards, so keep ur head up and dont let them bother u. just associate them only when uhave to. everyones inlaws are crazy, trust me!
2007-10-12 03:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are abusers they get high on that stuff. No you will never get their respect cause its more fun to watch you squirm. They are losers right them off they will never change period.
2007-10-12 03:40:15 · answer #7 · answered by theroadwetake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget them..they are not normal people..you and your husband need to keep them out of your personal life
2007-10-12 09:33:11 · answer #8 · answered by mindy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stick with your plan, and just ignore them. you said they are dysfunctional right.
2007-10-12 03:41:55 · answer #9 · answered by troop there it is 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋