My 12 yr old daughter, class clown!?

Question

She's a good student, very mannerable and out spoken. She has a bad talking habit. She wants to be the most popular girl in her middle school. I give her everything she wants(if possible), and all I ask is to do good in school. Her grades are average(75-low 80's), I want better grades. I want her behavior in class to improve and I've tried talking, punishment and even taking away cellphone and TV. What can I do?

Answer 1

my average grade was 81% in school
that's not too bad.

Answer 2

Maybe she has a low self-esteem and making the other kids laugh makes her feel good because she feels liked. Try having her invite some girls over from her class on a friday for movie night and/or sleepover or a night to the skating/ice skating rink.

The thing is, that might just be her personality and sometimes that's hard to change, she could also be going through a phase. I had this same problem in school mainly because my parents lectured me all the time on getting good grades but never helped me with my school work and since I was the "class clown" my teachers never took me seriously when i asked for help on subjects I didn't understand. Instead of punishing her, help her on the subjects every evening that she's having problems with.

Answer 3

Be consistent. Dont let her rile you. Demand that she act appropraitely and be herself (the real self - not the clown) Dont return her priveledges until she does. If she starts up again after some progress do it again.
Try not to be mad just firm.
She is trying to find her identity. It's very hard for her and you.
Also, I wonder if there might be some learning differences? Sometimes kids who have done great in elementary school do worse in middle because everything was handed to them ona silver platter in the younger grades. |Many act out - th class clown bit may be a red flag. She may have some issues there. Call the school counselor and ask what she thinks. At the very least have the counselor form a relationship with your daughter so she will have a outside party to talk to if she needs to.
Good luck...this age is so hard.

Answer 4

Why not just let her be herself? Sounds to me like she is doing reasonably well in school, certainly making passing grades--and whose requirement is it that she be Einstein? If she wants to go to college she'll settle down eventually and bring those grades up.

But in the meanwhile, why not let her be the class clown? She will not only be known for being "smart" she will also be well-rounded and her classmates will undoubtedly admire her sense of humor.

At 12 I wouldn't worry too much about it--but I also would not, under ANY circumstances, let her have a cell phone. Kids today are handed way too much, way too soon, and do not learn to appreciate what they have or have no sense of responsibility of having had to work for it. A cell phone is something you could give her as an earned privilege when she is a little older--say high school?

Good luck.

Answer 5

let her be what she wants to be.if she wants to be popular and funny then just let her.how could you punish her for being what she wants to be.it say you're a scary mother.my parents never try to make me live their way.her grades aren't bad.and i suppose you think taking things away from her will change her.well then let me tell you.it wont.it will only provoke her to be even more disobedient.be nice to her.stop punishing her.i used to be like her when i was around 11 and 12 because i knew everybody likes the class clown since you can never stay angry with someone who makes you laugh.i wanted to make people smile and i was successful.my parents never objected it.they only encouraged me to do the things i like as long as id didn't hurt me or anyone else.but i guess your daughter is not as lucky as i am.and now you know what.I'm the best student in my class.I'm a successful and courageous 15 year old.i win top grades.(a+) and i win every competition i enter.i have a lot of fans and everyone in school adores me because they think I'm funny,smart and talented.I'm sorry if i was mean but i just couldn't bear the idea of a 12 year old being punished for being herself.but then again what do i know I'm just a 15 year old.you're the mother.you know whats best for your child.make the right decision.

Answer 6

Giving her everything she wants in hopes that she'll do well isn't the answer. It only makes her think that she'll always get whatever she wants no matter how hard she works or does not work. You'll have to force her to work for the things she wants, no matter how painful it is. Otherwise you'll end up with a selfish brat. Take away the phone, tv, computer, or tell her she can't go out with friends until she brings her grades up.

Good luck

Answer 7

hi, i'm 13 years old and that i took the route at 12. :) the position i lived, as long as your were qualified at 12 you may babysit. yet believe me a large number of oldsters did not favor to leave there childrens with a 12 365 days old. :( Now that i'm 13, agency is starting off to get plenty more desirable, beacuse more desirable mom and father in my negiborhood favor babysitters and im the "new babysitter" on the city. when I took my classes it changed into 2 sessions both about 6 hours each and each and every or so. :) the first day we did babysitting stuff, the 2d we did CPR and emergency stuff. :)

Answer 8

Your 12yr old has a cell phone? Well lets see, you have spoiled her rotten, given her everything she wants and not held her responsible for her behavior for 12yrs and now you aren't happy with the creature you created?

Stop being her friend and start being her parent. I don't care what you ask for, you've given her the cake before she ate her peas and that's how you've trained her, and that's what you have.

Our rules were simple, homework comes first before anything else. If homework didn't get done, then nothing else was done. That means if you are still doing homework at 8pm (and we were many times), then except for a break for dinner, NOTHING else happened. No TV for anyone in the family, no going out, no having friends in, no talking on the phone. Most of their Jr. High and High School years were like this, most schools send home an unreasonable amount of homework. Early bedtimes, no distractions, and no fun activities until schoolwork was done. My girls were very well behaved at school, honors students, graduated with their bachlors from great schools and are both in grad school now. They also live on their own, one owns her own house and both work multiple jobs. Nice young women with good futures, great friends and are good citizens. Am I responsible? Not really, I just gave them the parameters to work within and encouraged them to understand the connection between education and the freedom to be what you want in life.

You need to stop whining and get yourself in order to save your child.

Answer 9

Keep up the dicipline (no 12 year old should have a cellphone). But find a constructive way to channel all that energy. The kid sounds talented. Have you considered dance lessons or music lessons (voice?) or some sort of theater group? Or perhaps martial arts to teach focus and self-dicipline.

Answer 10

first problem i see is the part where u are giving her everything she wants. WRONG. i know as parents we want our kids to have the best. but we want them to realize that things in life are EARNED. thats the lesson u failed to teach her. next time, reward her for good grades (by giving her what she wants). when she doesnt, punish her in a positive way where she actually learns from it. reading books about how to discipline properly helps. i have a 13 yr old step daughter and she even has ADD and we are quite successful. she fails too but i help her study, tutors and all that.

Answer 11

Sometimes this type of behavior is a cover-up for an inferiority complex. Some kids don't care about learning too much. Being popular is all that matters to them. Just keep her safe and enjoy your time with her. She will be grown up before you know it.