Did bus driver act inappropriately?

Question

My son who's in elementry tossed an open but unchewed stick of gum on the floor of the bus but accidently hit a girl. The girl went and told the bus driver. The bus driver stopped the bus and shouted that he wants to see his mom(me) tomorrow and I should give him a good reason why he shouldn't put it in my son's hair. Also, he told him, on his way out he should pick it up and put it his mouth. I talked to him this morning and he denied everything. He said that he asked him how he would feel if she did that to him which if true(lying) would have been the appropriate response and he also said that my son told him he dropped it which means he's lying and the driver wants to take it to the principal.
My son is very shy and a new kid. I explained to my son if he was lying that it would be a very big thing and there would be severe consquences but he swore to me that he wasn't lying about anything. Please tell me what I shoul do. I don't like trouble.

My son is 10 yrs old.
It hit the girl's leg.
I know he did the wrong thing but the bus driver threated my son and really embarrased him infornt of all the kids. (it was not worth saying that to him).
My son doesn't usually lie in a real situation like this.

Thank you JenniD
I did come out this morning and asked him very nicely but he denied everything and he wants to tell the principal that my son lied to him about saying yesterday that he dropped it and today he said to him that he tossed it. I also mentioned to him that I know my child was wrong for doing that. But all he said that the gum is still there.

I'm almost positive there is no camera. But you're right Laura.

Some one gave him the gum. He doesn't chew gum b/c he has braces.

Answer 1

You need to defend your child. If the bus driver actually told the child he should have put it in his hair and should put it in his mouth after it has been on the floor, that is completely unacceptable. You need to take the bus driver's behavior to the principal and explain what happened. Conflict is a part of life very few like it at all, but you need to learn to deal with it for your child's sake, because there is so much conflict is raising kids. Then you need to explain to your son to try to stay out of trouble. Accident or otherwise.

Answer 2

As you describe it...I tend to believe your son. I can't imagine an elementry kid could come up with all the threatening hostile things so readily...the in the hair thing and in his mouth. The comment: he will take it to the principal is done in a threat manner too. He would just automatically reported it ...if it was the routine/policy. He has a threatening style with how he handles communicating to you as well. If he gets that reactive and hostile I am not sure he should be driving or dealing with kids. If that is his style...this wouldn't be the first or the last time he acts inappropriately.

I am not saying he doesnt have a difficult job. The drivers usually have to keep their buses clean...and gum is a major issue...it gets on the seats, ground into the floor covering treads and pressed under the seats. Parents should NEVER promote gum at school...teachers hate gum chewers and it costs school all kinds of cleaning costs. It is a bad habit to get anyone routinely doing. People don't get jobs because they chew gum on interviews. Do you want your brain surgeon chewing gum while he examines you?

SUMMARY... I think the bus drivers has a problem. BUT, this is an opportunity for growth on "everyone's part".
The bus driver, your son and yourself. My advice: go to the principal if she/or he is WISE. They will teach everyone what they need to know! You son needs clear instruction of how to behave on the bus, and no gum at school (from you). Have that done before you see the principal. Make that known to the principal (up front) and include an apology with reassurance no future problem. Be the proactive one...who gets to the principal first will be more credible. (Remember the bus ride is a priviledge) Then you can point out your concerns about the bus driver.

That is my best anwser

Answer 3

You need to give your son the benefit of the doubt. "Innocent until proven guilty", but I will say one thing, if the bus driver told him to pick it up and put it in his mouth, he should have at least just picked it up and thrown it out after he got off the bus. That would have been a good compromise. Bus drivers do put up with a lot of abuse and disrespect from adolescents and he probably had his fill for the day and took it out on your son. If you talk to the principal, he/she could question others that were on the same bus to bring some witnesses forward and then the 3 of you (you, son & principal) should be able to reach a conclusion. The bus driver probably exaggerated, and again, your son may not be telling all of the truth because he is afraid of the unknown consequences that the school and bus driver might force on him being that he is a little timid, shy and new in the school. I'm sure it will all come out in the wash. Tell your son that "honesty is the best policy" and the truth may hurt in the beginning, but in the end it will all pay off. Keep your cool and hope for the best. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Does your school bus have a camera? Most of them do these days. That would clear things up in a hurry. I'd suggest going to the principal and explaining your concerns, then asking to have the tape viewed to make certain of what actually occurred. I think you would probably know if your son was lying to you. If you tell him in advance that there is a recording, he would also probably tell you if he was exaggerating rather than risk getting in further trouble if the tape proved that the driver was right. If the driver actually said what your son told you he did, then he went way over the line. Good luck!
P.S. - I hate having to get into conflicts with people too, but your son needs you to stand up for him even if you do have to step on a few toes.

Answer 5

You claim the bus driver is lying however you weren't there during the incident so you don't KNOW what actually went on. To begin with he shouldn't have tossed the gum in the first place, it is up to the bus driver to clean the bus do you think the driver should have to clean up after YOUR kid? If he didn't want the gum he should have kept it until he could get to a trash recepticle and throw it away. Instead he rudely tossed on the bus and it hit someone. He got in trouble for it, which is what SHOULD have happened, he had no right to toss the gum to the bus floor to begin with.

Answer 6

well most young children do NOT make up stories with that much detail. How old is your son? Think about his thought process for a minute and have you had a problem with lying before? In my opinion not knowing your son he is the one with the story straight because that story is very advanced for an elementary child. Yes, the bus driver overreacted, and it should be taken in front of the principal but also the bus station that hired him. Bus drivers are very rarely as straight shooting as they should be, in my home town there was a background check done on various bus drivers by the news station and two of them didn't even have a valid license to drive. He should not have the right to threaten your baby and you need to be a momma bear about it.

Answer 7

it quite is the first i have seen it and that i didnt watch very a tactics into it. yet teh bus driving force maximum definately changed into startign problem. the female changed into purely sitting there. even with happened afterwards nevertheless lies because the bus drivers fault as she is addressign an adolescent who apparently is doing not something at the same time as she starts on her. If there's a difficulty with a baby on the bus this can be a perfect video to practice on how now to not cope with it. Granted interior the first few sentences the female says she has an attitude yet i can;t see the position she did something to get the drivers interest contained in the first position. If it were an on going component, then the bus changed into not the position to cope with it, nor turned right into a confrontation with the youngster herself. It changed into of route not an emergency difficulty that all started the confrontation. She mandatory to be more desirable in contact about the scholar status in teh back earlier teh bus stopped.

Answer 8

I would also believe your son. If he says he is not lying and you believe that. What he said the bus driver said is not inconceivable. He sounds like someone unhappy in his job and he is taking it out on a child. Your son I suppose shouldn't be throwing anything around...but this also sounds like it is getting blown out of proportion.

Why not go to the principal yourself? Take someone with you if you need support. Might be that this driver has upset other children. The head would know that better. Just go asking for advice. Say you are concerned. It's not trouble. It's life, and something we have to get used to as parents.

All the best

Answer 9

This bus driver should not be a bus driver if he's going to say something like that. Go up to your son's school and tell the principal about what the driver said to your son, because that is unacceptable bus driver behavior.

Answer 10

If your son has not lied to you in the past and you believe him then I would speak to the bus driver in private and tell him that you have spoken to your son and believe he is telling you the truth (he didn't mean to throw it at the girl and it was just an accident). Explain that your son understands that it is inappropriate to throw gum or anything else when on the bus. Also tell driver that you believe that he over reacted and in the future should not take the word over one student over the other unless he has seen the incident for himself. Inform him that you would like to put this incident behind you and if there is ever any problems in the future that you would appreciate it if he discuss them with you directly & at no point is he to verbally insult your child in front of his peers or you will have no choice but to contact his supervisor. Does your bus have a camera?