Last night I met my boyfriend at the bar after he got off work. We were only there for an hour then they closed. Some of his friend were going to go to a house and have a bonfire so we went. I finaly left at 3 to get home and go to bed...I had to work at 8 this morning. He stayed. I woke up at 7 this morning and he wasn't home so I got ready really quick and went to see him...at the bar. He just told me to take him home, so I did. He is always very short with me after a long night of drinking. He asked me why I do this? I just wanted to see him this morning. After I left for work he messaged my phone and said "Don't ever come here again!"I live with him so I have to come back home. We have a door that we don't have a key for that he can lock from the inside...and he did. He just messaged me "You are a S L U T." Most of the time it is just because he is drunk. I don't think that he means this stuff. It still hurts me though. Please let me know if you have any words of wisdom? Please!!!
2007-10-12 02:18:34 · 17 answers · asked by Don't be taken for granted! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The last few times this has happend he forgets all about it after he goes to bed and isn't drunk anymore. How should I go about telling him when his mind is clear how I feel about how he is treating me. This isn't fair for me. I love him so much!!!
2007-10-12 02:51:25 · update #1
I don't want to leave him...I would be a mess for a really longtime if I wasn't with him anymore. I know that most all of you are right, but I just don't want to believe it. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a 1/2. What is wrong with me...why am I doing this to myself even when I know that it's hurting me inside! I am a MESS!
2007-10-12 03:05:09 · update #2
alcohol is NOT an excuse. is your self respect that low that u take that shite? give him an ultimatum,stop drinking and be a man and start treat'n u like u deserve or get the fcuk out. spend some time getting over him,then get urself a real man.
2007-10-12 02:35:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being emotionally and verbally abusive.... well verbally through text.... wonder what the term is for that.
Break it off with him. Your self esteem can't be good if you are not sure what to do after your bf calls you a slvt. No woman should ever hear that from her man outside playtime in the bedroom. I don't care if he's drunk or not. Drunk talk are sober thoughts. It doesn't matter if he even believes it. You can find a lot of men out there that would never treat you that way. As for kicking you out, screw that, kick him out. That is your legal address I assume. That means you can kick the door in if you wish. Make his life hell like only a woman can. Make his retarded *** move out.
2007-10-12 02:24:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is no good. I had an ex like that and I made excuses that it was when he drank. Eventually I was being accused of cheating, lying, and called names. Then it was a car window being broke out into my face, hospital stay for fractured ribs and kidneys. Then 5 years in I was found face down in a ditch, beaten and left for dead. I was fighting for my life in that ditch, and air lifted to a hospital. I never thought that would happen, and never thought he would go that far. I blamed his drinking, and even said he is nice when he isn't drinking. It shouldn't be that way, and now I look back and see it was bad all of the time. I was mistreated, scared, hurt, and had no self esteem. You don't have to go back until you go to get your things, which I suggest and would take an officer with me to do it. I would also get a restraining order. I have no contact with my ex now, and I hear he is mean to his wife. After I got out of that relationship I found happiness, married with four kids. Loving caring husband and father which I always deserved.
2007-10-12 02:53:29 · answer #3 · answered by bigjuggies79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey life is too short for you to have to figure this alcoholic out. You deserve better, don't you? Being called names is disrespectful and he does this trying to find fault in you because he is such a screwed up individual. That's what drunks and junkies do when trying to make themselves feel better about who they are. You sound young and you have your whole life ahead of you. Right down a list of all the things you'd like in a guy on the left side of the paper and on the right side right all the things you dislike in a guy. After reviewing you list ask yourself where you guy falls in. If he isn't all that you need or want (and he won't be), set your standards higher, stick to the list, stand your ground until you come across a man that meets your STANDARDS!!!
2007-10-12 02:52:46 · answer #4 · answered by Dancer3d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever heard of the syaing," A drunk person speaks a sober mind"? He wants to break up, so the sake of all the bonfores in the world, leave him there and find your own happiness. Because 10 years down the line, he will still be at the bar.
2007-10-12 02:27:45 · answer #5 · answered by sweetpotatopye 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
obby_007 is right. This will only get worse from here. You need to get your stuff and move somewhere else. He asked a good question; "Why do you do this?" You should NEVER put up with abuse from anyone, verbal or otherwise. Drinking is NEVER a reason, just an excuse and not even a good one. Next will start physical abuse with the excuse that it was because of something you did. "You made me hit you, if you hadn't hung the towels up crooked in the bathroom, I wouldn't have to hit you."
Get out now and never look back.
2007-10-12 02:34:25 · answer #6 · answered by Wiz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, you need to move on. I dont care if he is drunk that is still hurting you. you should not let him do this he will then use this to hurt you even more. Text him and say. I will be coming today to get my things and I will be leaving I will bring a cop with me if need be. text him that in a few hours after he has had time to let the boos wear off. and if you think he will try to hurt you or not let you in call your local police dep. and tell them what is going on they will be more than happy to go out there with you and take you to get your things!
Good luck hope all works out!
May God Bless you with some one who will treat you the way you should be. Dont settle for anything that is less than you!
2007-10-12 02:34:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally i feel that you dont need that. You have to ask yourself this question do i like or love him enough to put up with this. If you pay bills at your home then you should never be locked out of your home. Are you okay with being called a slut because that is unacceptable. You need to sit down and have a talk with him. You should tell him he either has a drinking problem are were do you see us going. You dont need to put up with him.
2007-10-12 02:25:52 · answer #8 · answered by masterdloski 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IMHO there is no reason to even worry about anything in that house. You are putting your life at risk to even be around this guy.
Please get in touch with a group that deals with domestic violence and get in a safe house.
Don't look back.
Attend the support meeting and find out why you put up with this treatment. Learn to love yourself.
MOVE ON.
2007-10-12 02:28:43 · answer #9 · answered by teamepler@verizon.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you love him and you know in your heart he really doesnt mean it.he has some kind of anger built up inside and hes taking it out on you which is not fair to you.you really need to confront him cuz it will only get worse. i guess you need to really find out his feelings or if there is something wrong. especially sitting at a bar all night. does he work.there is something wrong.maybe he feels guilty for being oput so he causes a fight to make him self look better or feel better i should say.
2007-10-12 15:08:51 · answer #10 · answered by Fran J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋