Can anybody help me ,i have decided with much concideration to change martial arts instructors when i notified

Question

my insructor i regrettably told him it was because of the negativity ive had in the class.as i asked for help by another instructor and he didnt offer any extra advice to what i can do to improve at home except criticise my build as im curvy,and told me not to expect to be as good as some of the others is this appropriate ,and as i worked very hard before i had my baby i one my first trophy.Confused why im still viewed in this way.am i being over sensitive or should i listen to my gut and change to someone more incouraging

Answer 1

You should definitely change instructors.
People often asked my tae kwon do instructor "am I too fat, short, small to be good?" he always said first: don't ever limit yourself in life in any area by assuming you are not going to succeed before trying. Second: although here are physical differences between people you should try to use those to your advantage as much as you can and he should be able to explain how to do that like my instructor did. Also, even if he thinks that you are physically limited he should be able to design training areas around whatever limitations you had.

Make it clear what you hope to get out the training and the art and make sure that your objectives match his objectives. I took olympic style taekwon do and my instructor made clear delinations in class as to what moves are appropriate in text-book style olympic competition, what is just done to develope strength and speed and what is going to win in a street fight or a mugging situation.

Answer 2

While it is good to be honest with students, instructors are not always what I call good coaches. They literally in a lot of schools have enough power to verbally cause a student a break in their confidence. They also have the ability to build a student and spur them on to higher goals and achievement. That is what your instructor should have done with you. Since he lacks the coaching and verbal skills you could take a couple of different courses of action.

1. Use his lack of verbal skill and coaching ability to spur you on to prove him wrong and try to make him eat his words.

2. Look elsewhere for a good instructor and school that tries to bring out the best in their students and motivate them.

Not all my students are great students or great martial artists but they can meet the standards that I have set. Some of them had to work harder and it was a struggle for them but that's partly what martial arts is all about-bringing out the best that a student has to offer and can accomplish. Some of them certainly would not have made it if I had acted like your instructor. I personally would look to see what else is out there and if you don't find anything that you like then continue with him but take the approach that I outlined above and you still may make a negative into a positive.

Answer 3

This is a situation which is going to be impossible for anyone on this board with so little real understanding of the circumstances to give you a really insightful and pertinent answer as there are so many nuances to what quality, experienced, and competent instructors will employ with students to motivate them, encourage them, re-allign their goals when necessary and so on.

All that anyone here can really advise you on is a decision making process to determine if you stand by your initial decision or have doubts about it.

If you truly feel that your instructor/s are inaccurate in their perception of you, your ability, your desire, and your goals, and you feel they were dismissive of your concerns when you voiced them, then your decision to leave and seek out a new instructor is most probably a prudent one.

If however you have trusted your instructor for years, have found their advice in the past to be good, accurate, and useful, then you may wish to reconsider your decision to see if perhaps you misconstrued something or may be pusing too hard for something your instructor does not believe you are ready for yet.

Ultimately every student and instructor relationship must be build on trust, honest communication, and mutual respect. If you no longer trust, communicate, or respect your instructor, then you should leave and seek a new instructor for both of your sakes. If you still maintain those feelings for your instructor, then you should try one more time to discuss the situation with him, your feelings, your conclusions, and give them an opportunity to clarify their position, their feelings, and their expectations. This should give you a clear indication as to whether you wish to stay, or leave.

Obvioulsy the only person who can make this decision is you, yourself, but I would strongly urge you to come to your final decision based on the best information you can acquire - and that will only come by being sure you fully understand your instructor/s position; be it good or bad.

Good luck

Ken C
9th Dan HapMoosaKi-Do
8th Dan TaeKwon-Do
7th Dan YongChul-Do

Answer 4

I don't think an instructor should jump to conclusion like that based on your build and body type. How does he know what you can or can't do! For some of us, it just takes a lot more work and others, it comes natural. There is always things you can practice at home. If it's tying a piece of paper on a string from your ceiling to practice accuracy. Using a chair to hold on to to make sure you have your chambers correctly for kicks. Practicing your stances, etc. Don't give up! If you're giving it 100% then that's your best and don't worry about if someone else is making it look easy! As for as changing instructors, you know your situation better than I do, do what you think is best for your training.

Answer 5

if you don't feel happy with your instructor anymore change instructors. there has to be a basic respect between student and teacher and yes thats a 2 way thing. If you can't get that respect just look for another instructor. You can be or become as good as you want to be and don't let nobody else tell you otherwise

Answer 6

You should change instructors.

If your body build is an issue in your chosen art, you should consider a change to an art that either complements our body shape, or to one where strength and size is not an issue, like Aikido.

One of the senior instructors in my Aikido dojo is a lady who's about 5'2, and 110 lbs soaking wet, and she routinely pounds my fat carcass onto the mat with an amazing amount of power. Fortunately, I've been training long enough that I can take her throws.

Answer 7

if it bothers you. change since you wont enjoy it as much anymore and then may ultimately quit which is what we dont want.

but too look at both sides of the story. and only you can sorta tell. is maybe the instructor is trying to encourage you to keep working hard by sorta.... calling you out on your negatives.

but then again im not there and cant tell body language and tone of voice and such. just something to think about in your final decision to switch.

GL and keep practicing

Answer 8

while I agree that there are some natural limitations that we are all born with, whether it is height, build, looks, etc. I do not see any benefit to you or the instructors reputation (or bottom line) to give his opinion on this matter. Since it is your time and money being spent, go to where you are more comfortable.

Answer 9

He probably is just tired of people coming in who are interested in just getting in shape instead of people who are genuinely interested in fighting. I used to take muay thai kickboxing and I got tired of soccer moms trying to lose weight coming into the class. They never lasted long, though, because our school was more focused on turning out tournament fighters. You don't sound like you want to get into a real fight so I would say that was the case. He probably has the mentality that you should just be taking a cardio kickboxing class.

If it was tai kwon do then the guy is probably just a sexist jerk because they don't really teach you how to fight, anyway.

Answer 10

sounds like you have a snobby instructor, heres something you didnt know.
most snobby instructors arent that good.
i have been a head instructor for ions.
switch instructors now.
come to my school if your in MD
congratz on your trophie.