My daughter has been talking to her friend who has just had a vaginal examination?

Question

She has told her it hurts alot all the way through when the doctor is doing it, and that she cried and screamed as the doctor was doing it. My daughter now says that she is not having hers done. What can i do and what can you suggest?

Answer 1

Book an appt for her just to talk to a gyni nurse, so it can be explained to her how it's done & why it's done. But treat this as an information exercise, do not forse her to have it done if she doesn't want it yet.

(The following bit may be unpopular with some people)
If there is no history of cervicle cancer in your family, then she can ask to 'opt out' of the cervicle screaning system.
She will just have to sign a form & then she wont get the letters or be pressured by the drs. to have one.
If in the future she changes her mind or just plucks up enough courage she can just phone her drs. & make an appt to have one done. ;-)

Answer 2

The exam itself should not hurt and if it does it needs to be told to the doctor because sometimes they can be too rough. Also, the exam can hurt because there is something physically wrong such as an infection.

I would make an appt for her with a gynecologist (female preferably because this is her first time) so that they can talk. A good doctor will explain everything in a manner that's easy to understand. Yep, a lady can talk to a gyn in plainclothes before any kind of exams are done.

I'm 36 years old and my doctor still tells me from time to time that she's going to examine me so that I know it's coming.

Here's a good site that may be of help as well: http://www.girlshealth.gov

Answer 3

HI, there are some sites on google you can look up that explain the process maybe you should get her to look at those or comeon here and hear from us women how it really is it is uncomfortable and depending on what is wrong with oyu it may hurt sometimes but rarely. Talk your daughter through what happens and take her to a gently female doctor

Answer 4

suited technique for the duration of being pregnant is to have a pap at your first appointment and a breast examination (in case you haven't any longer had one before or a minimum of interior the previous 6 months). in the time of the being pregnant, they do periodic vaginal checks to make confident eveything is going ok and in direction of the tip (once you bypass weekly) they're going to verify you greater normally to work out how some distance dialated you and such. once you have the toddler, at your 6 week verify up they're going to do yet another vaginal examination to make confident the uterus and everythign are lower back to primary. seems such as you my chum have a quack for a physician. I mean in the event that they do no longer verify then how might they comprehend if there is an underlying undertaking or no longer that could reason you to lose the toddler or that could reason you injury in case you have that toddler?!?!?!?!!? it extremely is not difficulty-unfastened to no longer have those checks and that i might seem greater desirable into it and possibley locate yet another wellness practitioner!!!!

Answer 5

Here in the Netherlands young women don't get vaginal examinations unless there are symptons that need to be addressed. Yearly checkups with women don't start until they are 35. We have good healthcare, we don't have a higher rate of cancer. I never understood why young women need to be examined so early.

It could have its advantages, since I am terrified to go now since I never got used to it at a younger age.

I would inform her of the process and the apparant necessity for her health. If she truly does not want to go, respect that decision and give her a few months or a year and then talk to her again, please don't force her.

Answer 6

Hmmmm your daughters friend is clearly a drama queen then.

Two kids, cervical cancer and the usual womens exams over 51 years and I have never ever screamed,, not even close. The secret is to relax - its not intended to hurt and most doctors will go out of their way to make sure it doesn't.

Answer 7

If he used his hand then it shouldn't hurt. If he used a speculum (metal device). Then he should have been informed that your daughter is a virgin (embarrasing I know but imperative information), then he would either have used another method or the smallest one available. I'm still a virgin and mine have never hurt me.

I agree with the others. Your daughters friend is trying to be a drama queen or they never informed the doctor properly.

Answer 8

Give her this to read:
http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/girls/obgyn.html

Better yet read it with her.

Also, do you know this 'friend'? If so, does she over dramatize other things as well, if so maybe you can use that to get your daugther to see how her friend over exaggerates things and/or uses the screaming and crying to get attention or that she had a bad doctor. Also ask questions like - was her mother in the room? if she was, call her mom.

Answer 9

its not clear why in the first place should your daughter have a vaginal examination, neither have u stated what age is she of, is she pregnant or not? but if there is a need to have the examination done it need not be speculum necessarily depending on her condition. it would be wise to take her to her gynaecologists and let her have her fear expressed and done what is best and suitable for her with minimal trauma.

Answer 10

The friend sounds like a drama queen who just wanted attention by scaring your daughter. Tell your daughter your experience with pelvic exams and how important they are.and they are a bit uncomfortable but very important.