My husband and I are trying to get pregnant, and my step-mom and dad want us to name a boy after 2 of my little brothers. The thing is, my brothers have Duchene Muscular Dystrophy, and they are terminal. I love my brothers, and having them sick is the hardest thing I will ever face, but I just can't bring myself to agree to naming my baby after them. I don't want my child to remind everyone of something so sad, or for my brothers to feel like they are being replaced in ANY way. Am I being over-sensitive? How do I explain to my parents I just don't want to do this. It will be hard enough being without them when the time come, I don't want my own child to be one more reminder of what I have lost.
2007-10-11 19:17:56 · 4 answers · asked by Sammie Jo 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Baby Names
I totally understand. There are your children and your mother needs to take no for an answer. Explain how you feel. And pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee don't let her change your mind
My daughter is expecting a baby girl in January. If it were a boy she wanted to name it after her brother, my son, who died 5 years ago at the age of 21. I was relieved that the baby is a girl. I am not sure I could call a little grandson Aaron, each time the word would come out of my mouth I would think of my son. I think it is good to let at least one more generation go by before useing such names. Also, I strongly believe that if you name your boys that......they will feel that they are responsible to live up to the name and do what your brothers couldn't do in life. That is way too much to ask of a child. Think of how a child would feel being refered to as ------- who is named after -------. Gosh what a buredon to a kid.
My daughter has the middle name of my cousin who died in a car accident. There were 30 years sinse she died and another generation.
My mother and I have the same middle name. She drove me nuts when I had my daughter wanting me to pass on that name for the third generation. I don't like my middle name, I sure wouldn't want to give it to my daughter just becsue my mother wanted it.
Stand firm.
We all deal with loss differently. My daughter has pictures of her brother in every room of her house. Where as me.......It took me four years until I could even bring out one picture of him. And another year to take out his wedding picture.
Say to your family......thanks for the ideas. We will consider them, and right now we are going for these names........
Just say sorry mom I am the mom now and this is my family. I wish I could make you happy, but these are my boys and I will miss my brothers so much that I personally can't deal with it
Help your mom find another way to honor the boys.
Also, you can have her read this.
2007-10-11 19:47:44 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Naming a baby is a very exciting and personal thing....You need to do what is right for you and your husband...I know how hard it is to tell a family member that you don't want to do that....Believe me I've lived it...Just do what is in your heart! Just because you don't name your baby after them does not mean you don't love them....
2007-10-12 02:24:18 · answer #2 · answered by mommyof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them what you told us.
I think they want some way to make sure your baby feels connected to your brothers. Tell them that this will happen even though they don't share a name.
2007-10-12 02:37:52 · answer #3 · answered by Sophie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give them your brothers name as a middle name, that way it's a good tribute and not so in your face. Do what makes you happy.
2007-10-12 02:30:46 · answer #4 · answered by =^..^= kittie_kaat☺ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋