should i marry for convenience and security and not love and passion..oh yeah! i am 40 years old?

Answer 1

heck no
money can go away in an instance
tru love last a lifetime
wats r u going to do wen thers no more of either one of them
you can just break up
your married

Answer 2

Some people settle for convenience and security because they don't want to be alone. I would rather be alone, than live with someone just for convenience and security. Your partner should be your best friend as well as your lover. Even when we are older and the sex doesn't happen as often, the affection is there. Just because you are 40 doesn't mean you can't find love. There is so much more to marriage than convenience and security. Gee thanks!! You just made me realize that my marriage is so much more than just that!! We are friends, we support each other, we laugh together, we cry together, we sit in the back yard and hold hands - just because. We've been through VERY hard times, OK times, and wonderful times, and I respect him more now than ever before. I don't think that would have happened if I married him for convenience and security. We've been married 16 years, and I was in my late 30's when we got married. Just think about it long and hard before you make a decision.

Answer 3

There's no unwritten law that says you have to be passionate about your spouse when you marry, as long as you both understand why you're together. Pretending there's passion when there's not will kill trust eventually. I believe the ideal marriage is based on the type of love that incorporates friendship and mutual respect; you may or may not be 'in love with' or passionate about the person you're marrying. When you both concentrate on making a marriage work, love grows in that partnership. It may not be Hollywood "love", but in most cases it's got more guts and foundation than anything you see in the latest romantic comedy.

More than half of the world marries for convenience and security in arranged marriages, and these tend - on average - to be happier than ones based on mutual attraction. Again, though, it won't work if you're fooling your partner into thinking you're passionately in love with him.

Age has no bearing on the issue, by the way. You can fall deeply into love in your 70s (and beyond).

Answer 4

People marry for all kinds of reasons, good and bad.

Doesn't mean that the marriage won't be successful if you marry for convenience and security. People do it every day, even people who are less than 40 years old. You gotta love though, even if it isn't the passionate, butterflies, giddy type thing. You gotta love. You gotta care.

Answer 5

Oh, yeah. Sister, let me tell you that love and passion are HIGHLY over-rated. Many younger women will tell you to hold out for passion and love, or simply eschew men altogether and build a group of great women friends to share good times with. I am 10 years your elder, and I won't blow smoke in your face [doesn't fit the red-hat image].

As we hit 40 to 50, we have trouble finding dates, let alone mates, because most of the guys our age are hard to find or entranced by some little Barbie doll dangling from their wallet. Why hold out for fireworks and swinging from the chandeliers if a perfectly nice gentleman offers you a seat by the fire?

My sister did the fireworks & chandelier swinging during her 40s, mostly with younger men, and has been alone since she turned 50. Sister #2 decided to marry some guy she worked with who just wouldn't go away - they're still going strong after almost 30 years. I tried on-line in my late 40s and have had no luck, except a couple of weirdos that make my ex-husband a great catch!]. Add all the women I know who have no husband after age 45 and decide for yourself.

I am not saying to totally drop your principles - the guy has to meet your minimum requirements for conversation, interests, activities, etc.

My great-grandpa married the widow next door [both marrying solely for convenience and security, not to mention the increased work force to keep the plowing up] and they managed to stay together until one of them died.

Answer 6

Marriage has become such a joke. I'm not all religious, but is nothing sacred anymore??? What is wrong with being with the one person in the world you cannot live without, being poor and all, and still in love, true love. Life is what you make it. Security is nice, but it comes and goes. I'm 36, I have been married for 14 years to the love of my life, we have been dirt poor in a roach ridden apartments, and later we bought and sold 3 homes in Los Angeles making us more than $600,000 in 2 years. I'm no happier now than when we were negative $300.00 in the bank. If you can live with yourself knowing that you made a mockery of what is supposed to be most sacred, then go ahead, but life is a test, and sometimes it is hard.

Answer 7

I am not sure girl. I am 27 and in the same situ. I know I love my man but I do not know if I am IN LOVE. He has stablily and some money and he spoiles me and gives me anything I want. Perfect Fairy Tail right?... But at times I know that this is not want I want but I am to afried to leave and make a mistake or go back into the world of poorness and instablily and uncernty. I am lost as well. I know this does not help but hopefully you know you are not alone. I always would tell everyone no to this answer, but know having to live through it is a different story. I have a daughter and we have been on our own for a long time and I am just not sure if I can go back to struggling everyday again. I guess we never know at any age.

Answer 8

40 is not old.You must say you are 40 years young.If some body marries it should be for love and affection and or for a companion.For passion there are many out lets.In the age of more divorces than marriages,where is security?If you want child you get can adopt.

Answer 9

Honestly, only you can answer that question.... I know that I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I married in anything less than honorable circumstances.

But before you make your decision, ask yourself this...

How would *you* feel if your partner were considering marrying you for "convenience and security?"

If you're still intent on marrying and aren't in love... just make sure you're 100% straightforward about your feelings (or lack thereof) with your significant other. Anything less amounts to fraud.

Answer 10

I married a 46 year old, it was a marriage of convenience per se.. he and I laid out our history and what we wanted out of a relationship and in a marriage. he was a divorcee and it was my first.. I wanted security and I wanted the convenience of having someone and to be married to. I love my husband not for what I call " movie like romance and love" but in the simplicity of honesty. Loving someone should be bec. you and the other person are compatible and that you know you can benefit in the relationship. He compliments me by teaching me patience and he teaches me to handle life better, I compliment him because I teach him to be more calm and be more forgiving of others.. I had love and passion when I was younger but the other person decided that it wasn't enough for him to commit to each other. it just wasn't meant to be... Finally, it really is up to you. If you think that your compromising and marrying someone who is good enough just so I don't have to be alone, then it is up to you. But if you think that your marrying someone bec. finally I figured out what I want in a marriage and what I expect from the other person and he/she agrees to it.. then it really isn't a compromise.. it's honesty in a relationship and maybe the best partner you can have.

Answer 11

i am seriously considering this question for myself cuz i may have the same opportunity. the only man i have ever loved passionately, whole heartedly with my soul has drowned 5 months ago. if there is someone in your life that you love like this and loves you back the same--DO NOT marry for convenience-your heart will ache forever if he was no longer in your life. HOWEVER, if there isnt anyone like that in your life currently and you dont forsee anyone like that popping up anytime soon---go for the security if you need it. i might myself, but only cuz i will never find someone to love as deeply as the one i lost. if you have love and passion..you can work out the security together