i have been married to the devil twice just with a different face the first one cheated and even brought the whore in my home when i was having surgery. The second one used me for a greencard he got it march 14th then left me may 14th mothers day then he joined the army and told me on a call home i don't need you anymore the army is taking care of my process now! i'm left with two beautiful daughters from each i still have hope but i still feel like my guts have been ripped out of me by a lion when i think about these two men both hurt me i even think the second was worst because he did EVERYTHING he could do besides cheating name calling abuse ect and he very well could be cheating now that he has been gone. any advice help I'm spiritual and rely on God alot but i still have bad days especially not knowing what my future could be from here all this aftermath i'm living in.
2007-10-11 18:11:22 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your still young enough to have a very full life. At least you didn't waste decades of time with these guys. Just concentrate on being the best person you can be, and in your next relationship, don't fall in love to quick, and date a long time.
2007-10-11 18:24:57 · answer #1 · answered by grouch2111 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, niether one of those men deserve you or you beautiful daughters. Cheaters and abusers are the worst kind of people. Don't despair, there are good men out there. As soon as you stop looking, you'll run into one that wants to be with you. Just make sure that the next one really loves you. You'll know. When men fall in love, they want to do everything they can to fullfill their partners lives physically and emotionally. Well, good men do. Pray about this every day. The answer will come. Just make sure that you pick a man that will listen to your feelings and try to use that information to do things that meet your needs and please you. Then you'll know you've got a keeper. No lesser man deserves the right to keep company with you and your children. Forget the last two jerks and really move on to something better. You're going to be just fine even though it doesn't feel that way. Trust god and pray. Be strong for your girls and yourself. Good luck dear.
2007-10-11 18:39:53 · answer #2 · answered by B. Nowlin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to watch out for the waring signing that you receive when you meet men like this, this is twice you were in a bad relationship, that means you keep making the same mistakes when you pick your mate.
Its say God help those who help them self, now start helping your self by taking care of you, thinking about why you like me that are abusive in some kind of way.
Think about how you can get better at recognizing these men before they even open their mouths to say hi to you.
You can always start over its never to late, because you have children and you want the best for them.
Hope you find the best for you with all eyes open.
2007-10-11 18:26:33 · answer #3 · answered by kim w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your pattern.
You will keep replaying this pattern unless you learn to defeat this pattern by using discernment. You have to recognize the pattern when it shows up again and move to avoid it.
In your case, you attract users and abusers.
You have the vibe of a doormat that attracts these guys who wipe their feet on you.
You need to get a little mad at them and a little mad at yourself, and resolve to not put up with any more like that. The way to not put up with any more of these is to get to know the guys very well over a loooonnng time... no sleeping with them... make them work hard for that privilege.
You need to work on your thoughts... somewhere along the line you got the idea that you are supposed to be "user friendly"... you don't feel like you are valuable. Now you MUST change those thoughts for the sake of your daughters, so they won't have to repeat this pattern.
You need to go to battle for child support money from both of them. By law, they need to support their children. That little victory alone will help buoy you forward. Get an attorney.
See if you can get into a support group for survivors of abuse, or see a professional counselor.
2007-10-11 18:55:58 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is hope! I'm separated now but when got married she had 3 young boys. You first have to be happy, live your life with your beautiful daughter, look for God and everything will full in its place. But don't go at it with full force when you do fine that person. Date hem and fine out what he dose as far as work, whats is habbits, his friends and so on. We tend to give ourself to queckly when we feel lonely and hurt. Hold on to your daughter to give you strength. You don't want to bring someone in you house that will make you daughter suffer. You see I lost my wife and I was at falt and can't change that. I did not cheat on her but we argued all the time. I learned to late and I miss her very much. There's nothing I could do now. But If I had my children I would be the most happies man on this planet, even without her. So enjoys your life with your childs.
2007-10-11 18:36:10 · answer #5 · answered by Mac 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a good lawyer and get the child-support rolling in. Get a job, too. It will help with your self-confidence and help you meet people.
You need to take time-off from men and see why you are falling so hard, so fast. In the future, you should take your time with a guy, and find out if he is the right one for you. It's easy to be a nice guy for a few months. Let's see these jokers do it for a year or more.
2007-10-11 18:22:17 · answer #6 · answered by Chris A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the people above me ^ are giving great advice - listen to them.
One thing I would add is this: You say you rely on God...well, I think it is time you started relying on YOU.
That guy gets a lot of good press, but he's not gonna raise those daughters - you are. So get yourself strong, after taking the time to grieve for what has happened, and start living again.
Best of luck! And best wishes...
2007-10-11 19:09:58 · answer #7 · answered by Bye for now... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I appreciate your confidence.After two failed marriages and with a balance sheet left ,you are prepared to take a third chance.But before going ahead you find out the reasons for your failure.You have failed to judge men.Take adequate protection.Get a job.Take legal action against the cheaters and obtain maintenance allowance for the children.You can restart your life.It is not too late.Next time you marry only known person.Good Luck.
2007-10-11 18:35:04 · answer #8 · answered by leowin1948 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job and put your life into your children for now. Stop feeling like you have to have a man in it. You don't! At least not right now. Get rid of the bad baggage you are carring in your heart first before looking for another. Otherwise, you are just going to end up with the same old jerks.
2007-10-11 18:17:56 · answer #9 · answered by pony 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your life has just begun at the age of thirty. Having your two children by seperate fathers has no bearing on a Man that is serious about you. I remarried at the age of thirty one. We did not divorce from lack of love or affection. I am a warrior Miss that loves combat. That killed my marriage. How you present yourself to Men is not as important as to how your children will react to him. If you are attractive flaunt it lady. He will love you and see your daughters as graceful and exciting as you are but in a Fatherly manner. Good luck to the Lady. You have only begun to live................
2007-10-11 18:42:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋