Career or Babies?

Question

I have recently married, and have wanted children for as long as i can remember, my husband also wants to have children. But i have medical problems, and i have a limited chance of falling pregnant, my husband and i have seen a gyno, and plan to start treatment soon, but i have just landed my dream job, and would like to start my career, moving further in the company, and there wont be room for children if i continue this career to it's full potential! Should i stick with my dream of having children and starting a family? Or try new options, and look at my career? Or is my want of a career only because i have come to terms with the fact i may never have children anyway? i don't want to waste my companies time by going forward and leaving later! what should i do?

i am 22 years old, have been with my husband 5 years (married only three months) travelled around Australia with my husband.
The career i am looking at will enable me to travel further (it is with a tourism company) and i will be doing slide shows and things to other large companies, to get more contracts for the company. No chance of work from home, and i don't want maternity leave, if i have children, i want to be there for them at all times. My parents were both career minded, and i felt abandoned until i left home, i don't want to do that to my children, if i have any!
My husband knows of my fertility problem, and says he will support any decision i make, he wants children, but if i don't, he will do his best, and continue with his own career (owning his own company)

i am 24 years old, have been with my husband 5 years (married only three months) travelled around Australia with my husband.
The career i am looking at will enable me to travel further (it is with a tourism company) and i will be doing slide shows and things to other large companies, to get more contracts for the company. No chance of work from home, and i don't want maternity leave, if i have children, i want to be there for them at all times. My parents were both career minded, and i felt abandoned until i left home, i don't want to do that to my children, if i have any!
My husband knows of my fertility problem, and says he will support any decision i make, he wants children, but if i don't, he will do his best, and continue with his own career (owning his own company)

sorry! i typed the wrong number for my age and didn't know how to change it

i'm 24 lol

Answer 1

You have to make that decision yourself and can only use what we say to help you make that decision. Since you are recently married, there is always the chance that the marriage may end someday as so many do - you and he may be perfect and hopefully have many years together but I don't know him, or you for that matter, so I have to include that - so that you will the wish you had taken the job.
many companies have some sort of policy for maternity leave if an employee has been there long enough so you have to consider that as well. Perhaps you can take the job and take a maternity leave in a year or so.
Then there is the question of whether your husband would want a child of his own bad enough to leave you if you could not have his child.
As to what I would do in your position, I would take the job, hold off on having the baby for a year at least and if it was found I couldn't have children I would find one to adopt who otherwise would never have parents or a family. As Richard Bach once said, members of a family are not always born under the same roof. Good luck to you whatever you decide.

Answer 2

What will make you happy? You also need to think about if you chose the career would you be regretful when you were older and unable to have a baby? Maybe this new path has opened up for you because you were meant to be a career woman? You have so many options, I think the most important point is that you need to make a decision you can live with for the rest of your life. If your dream is to have a child.. have a child! Start that career and keep trying and if you get pregnant than your dreams have come true! But if you don't become pregnant but you continue to rise in the company..there is nothing wrong with that either.

Answer 3

you fail to mention

how old you are

how far up the ladder you want to go

and WHY you want to go up the ladder

most companies do not like hiring women of child bearing age for EXACTLY the reason you mention
you have kids and never come back
thus wasting time in grooming a potential candidate for success up the ladder
this is why women complain there is a glass ceiling
there is not
a women inherently limits her chances of ladder climbing when has has children
you want proof
look no further than Oprah
if she had children
she would not be a billionaire that she is today ( and a minority one at that.. hows that for even more rare )
women who do have a career , drop out a few years to have kids, find they have a very tough time getting back in, as even if they do, their skill sets have aged and are they are usually unwilling to put in the long hours needed to re climb the ladder or start work at a lower pay then when they left off

Answer 4

You aren't wasting the company's time, and there will be room for children. Very few jobs are so intense that they truly limit your life that severely, and if yours happens to be one of those few, I think you need to ask yourself what other things in your life you're going to have to give up, and if it's really worth it.

I made a similar choice when I decided to be a stay at home, and I've never regretted it. I thought I would be missing out on something by staying home, but it's the opposite. I feel so blessed for the opportunity, and so thankful that I chose this over any career.

Answer 5

I think it's important to pursue what's important to you and what will make you happy.

Obviously you may have some regret with whichever choice you make, but perhaps you could have both? Do you have time to pursue say, a 3-5 year career and then start a family?

Just remember it's not about the company, it's about you. Don't think to yourself that the down side of eventualy leaving your job will mean that you've let the company down... It means that you're moving on with your life, towards more fulfilling things!

Good luck x

Answer 6

What does your husband have to say about this? He is the person you need to discuss this with.

I doubt a stranger can help you make this decision.

How long does it take to "climb up the ladder"? How many children do you want?
I would think that if you have always thought of having children, then that is a good indication that this is what you want.

Having children does not stop you from staying at your job. Lots of women do both.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Wait & see. Time usually has a way of answering your questions for you. If this company really wants your input, they may consider letting you work from home. Many companies are encouraging their employees to do this these days in an effort to cut down on overhead. You may even want to advise your supervisor of this, as a cost-saving measure ;-)

Answer 8

You should do what feels right. Talk to your husband, what does he think? If you do decide to have a child instead, they have many fertility treatments out there, and if all else fails there is adoption, there are babies out there wanting a family to love them. But all in all it is your choice, noone can make that decision for you, except you. Goood luck on whatever it is you choose.

Answer 9

Could u start ur career, and have children after it gets going..? Being a mom, i couldnt imagine any career better than motherhood. If you took ur career over it, you might regret it, its all in what you want. You could also adopt.

Answer 10

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