I have been married 10 months. My husband has hit me twice before our marriage. Each time he said that he would never do it again. After we've been married, he has hit me twice again, and I have feared for my life. He said he would kill me, and he caused bruises. I know it sounds bad, but all the time, I kept thinking that I provoked him and it's my fault. I threatened to leave and go to the police, but I couldn't, I was scared. I had faith that we could work it out. I told my parents a week ago about everything. They are beside themselves and I am an emotional wreck. I want a separation, I am 25 years old, a graduate student with a future, no kids involved. My husband is 34. I care for him as a person but I don't think that we were ever meant to be together. Our relationship is empty and I am tired of pretending to love him. Our relationship has made me depressed, unable to function. I want out, but I care for him and am afraid to be alone and find a new apartment.
2007-10-11 15:43:01 · 10 answers · asked by Confused.... 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you serious? You sound so intelligent and so sweet - and your asking for advice? Honey - you know what you have to do. You do not deserve the way he is treating you, and you have nothing to feel sorry for. You did nothing to provoke being attacked, it is his problem. You have to value yourself enough to get out now, before you are hurt worse. You have nothing to be scared of, and your not really alone - you have your family and friends behind you. Do not be afraid to start a new life, be excited. Be thankful you do not have children, or this situation would be so much more difficult. You are college educated, you know right from wrong, and you know you are worth so much more than how he makes you feel. He is the one who should feel worthless and scared. If he cared, he would never have hit you. You are too young to spend the rest of your life this miserable. When the time is right, when you are ready, you will find that special someone you ARE meant to spend the rest of your life with. Please, take care of yourself and move on. It will be hard, and he wont make things any easier, but you have to do it for yourself. Good luck honey!
2007-10-11 16:15:52 · answer #1 · answered by My2Cents 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to find a domestic abuse shelter near you and talk to them, and get a divorce, not separation. the fact that you care for him as a person means that you do not realize that a person who abuses anyone, let alone a wife, does not deserve to be cared for by anyone. If you are still there and he hits you, make a police report. If you can, move back with your parents for a while or get a new apartment but go to the police and get a restraining order against him. You sound like a person with a good future and I am sure you will find someone to love you that will be better for you, but you need to lose this jerk first.
2007-10-11 16:01:43 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't take the advice of myself or the other posters, take is from Dear Abby herself. Get out as soon as you can. This person is dangerous, and an abuser, and the sooner you can get free of him, the sooner you can start putting your life back together.
I know that you are afraid to be alone, but think of how much more scary it would be to be stuck with a lifetime of depression. If you need assistance in getting out on your own and do not have a family member or friend to help you, check with a local women's shelter. They can get you started in the right direction towards taking your life back into your own hands.
2007-10-11 15:55:57 · answer #3 · answered by jkdawson99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time for you to grow up and be an adult. Your can get a job, move back in with your parents temporarily, get a divorce and move on with your life. What you can't do is put your head in the sand and stay in a relationship where you are afraid of the man you are married to, that is hitting you and has threatened to kill you. Do this before you have kids with him and the abuse continues with the children.
2007-10-11 15:48:26 · answer #4 · answered by kny390 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Time to move on from him. You don't have kids and I sure as hell wouldn't EVER do that. I wouldn't want to be tied down to this man the rest of my life married or otherwise!
Get your own place, ANYTHING is better than this AH!
Do it this weekend. You'll feel like chit for a month but DONT GO BACK no matter what the hell excuse or plea's he makes.
This will be the BEST move in your entire life.
2007-10-11 16:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u may care for him but its not enough reason to stay married to an abuser. there is something terribly wrong with your husband, something u did not cause, and something u can't fix. it hurts us to have to admit we made a mistake by marrying them, but u did. accept it he is who he is and theres nothing u can do. go back to your parents house with your mom and dad until after your divorce. we all have made mistakes by marrying the wrong person and getting into things we should never have. u have a wonderful future ahead of u, please leave this man before he destroys u emotionally, u have a choice, better to live alone than live with someone who beats u down, and strips u of your self worth daily. good luck.
2007-10-12 00:00:01 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay. I like you to stay, CareBears have a very nice azzes. don't know if I'm a perv or not. but I like CareBear butts. but you are also a good questioner and answerer, funny and have cute avatar. although you may turn out to be a man in the basement. or a woman in an office cubicle. Edit: "The an" is a proper grammar, but I wronged it.
2016-05-22 00:29:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should get the hell out as quick& fast asap. i just watched my bestfriend get killed by her x because, she wouldnt listen.he even abused her children.you could go to a womens shelter,get legal advice& get a restraining order or orderof protection. he told her he was gonna kill her too so, if you value your life you better move on girlfriend& quick. he shot her & her daughter 25 times each right in front of me, if that dont wake you , i dont know what would. im still in shock& that was in may.& yes! he will keep abusing& hitting you.
2007-10-11 16:10:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. He's not going to change and one day he may really hurt you. If I could leave with two small children and still maintain TWO careers, you can certainly do it. Get out before he kills your self esteem or you........... Good luck to you
2007-10-11 16:13:04 · answer #9 · answered by Ldymblmer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE!!!!!!!!
There is NO future in this relationship for you.
2007-10-11 15:48:49 · answer #10 · answered by it's me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋