Cheating and divorce after 16 yrs..how do I deal with this?

Question

I'm 49 and have been with this man for 18 years total. He's been having what he calls "a friendship" with a woman at work, a woman I have known (and been friendly with) for about 10 yrs. He travels for work extensively, they have talked day and night (more than he and I) since late last year. They were originally using office 800 and main numbers to keep me from seeing their calls on OUR cell ph bill. Now I find he's even changed travel plans to get back in town early to see her, yet he swears they have not had sex and are only friends. He wants a divorce so he can "find himself". They don't hide the numbers anymore cause they think I can't see it, but they start calling or texting each other at 5AM or so and go all day and night! He wants out, but had no plan as far as how we would separate and we can't afford to rent another place for one of us, so we're also stuck living in the same house. I'm devastated - I also get angrier than I knew possible, but the hurt is crushing me.

Answer 1

oh yeah, sounds like hes on her like a crow on a june bug. is she hot? thats too bad u have to stay there with him. try sewing up the crotch on his underware, it will give u something to do and just think how funny he looks with his pants down at the urinal. maybe geta puppy. ok i got to go, my moms calling me.

Answer 2

A counselor, marriage counselor or some style of scientific care. in case you go with for the marriage to paintings - you should take the 1st step in forgiving and letting bypass. in case you could't try this - then you enable the marriage bypass. particular, he cheated. some men do - each and all the time. some only as quickly as. as much as you the way badly you go with for to paintings this out. So innovations and suggestion is paintings on your self. Get counseling to help get previous the melancholy. Or in case you do no longer decide for expert counseling or can't have the money for it - attempt looking some books to help. i'm no longer suggesting engaged on your self as that throughout the time of any way you're at fault. i'm suggesting engaged on your self - for your self. no rely the way it seems - you go with for to be a solid, healthful man or woman. The extra you are going to be that - the better you could manage subjects.

Answer 3

See an attorney about getting him thrown out but there are other thing to consider. are you working? Do you have minor children and so on. An attorney can give you some idea of where to go from here. this guy is a jerk and you are better off without him even if it means a few hardships for a while.

Answer 4

as much as it hurts your going to have to face reality and know that there is nothing u can do to change his mind. he wants a divorce because he wants to be with her. he will only cause u grief if u keep him. the time to confront this was when it first began. get some therapy for this, surround yourself around non judge mental friends, and start preparing for the worst, because he will leave. get an attorney, make sure u ask for spousal support, u can't change it, and it will hurt, its a betrayal by someone u trusted and gave your heart to, but in every life bad happens to us all, when one doesn't know what to do and there is no where to turn u would want to turn to god in times like this. good luck.

Answer 5

Its easy to say to chuck him ...but you two have obviously been through a lot together.... up and down...

Maybe communication's broken down and things have gotten a bit stale, and that's why he strays? Sadly, it happens all too often.

Try to rebuild communication, and even try to get some outside help with it... between the lines it sounds like you might have a chance of patching it up.

Answer 6

my be folo him to work or ask people that work with him if there is an thing going on