My ex and I split in July after 2 years. I'm preggo and due anyday. He told me when I was 6 1/2 mos that he wasn't ready, we couldn't have it, etc.. I'm 34, independent, good job, support and I can take care of this baby on my own. He even said he didn't want me coming around for help (from him or his family) and didn't want to know if the baby was sick. So I told him, get out. Then I found out he was cheating on me. He hasn't called or anything to check on me and now I am past all the emotional hell I went thru these last few months. I am focusing on me and the baby. I want nothing to do with him, he is irresponsible, immature and I can't believe he totally abandoned me. I feel he would not be a good role model anyway. If he decided to come around later, should I let him see our son. Again, I want nothing from him. I will never understand how someone could just do this to someone who loved them and their child. What would you do? FYI, he has been abusive when drinking.
2007-10-11 14:43:47 · 15 answers · asked by pussnboots333 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We were not married, nor living together. He did want this baby for as long as I can remember, then changed his mind. As of now, he has no rights, and I don't think I want him to have any.
2007-10-11 14:44:40 · update #1
If he is not in the picture, why are you obsessing about it? He has no rights to see this child, he abandoned you when you needed someone the most. He is a total jerk and not worth wasting your emotions
2007-10-11 14:53:02 · answer #1 · answered by Don Drapers woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep track of all you spend upon the child and if the day should come when he wants to see the baby - probably not - he will have to deal with the question of child support and if you write down now while your memory is fresh the times when he was abusive, you can demand supervised visits if and when he wants that.
congratulations on doing so well on your own, and even though you probably don't need this warning, be careful about getting into another relationship until you are sure that the guy is going to not run out this this guy did. Too often, a woman feels the lack of companionship and gets into a relationship too quickly after losing a jerk like this.
2007-10-11 15:02:17 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I wouldn't let him see the child. By what you just described he seems like an inconsiderate, rude, and mean person. You stated that he didn't even want anything to do with the child, so how come all of a sudden he wants to see the child now? He didn't even have the decency to call to see how you and the pregnancy is going. That just shows how much he cares about his child, which seems to be not at all.
2007-10-11 15:16:21 · answer #3 · answered by rosezz50 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"As of now, he has no rights" That's where you are dead wrong. IF he wants to see the child he can. If you try to keep him from seeing the child he can subpoena a paternity test and once it proves he is the father he will have all the rights any other father has in the U.S. That means possible joint custody and at least visitation. His name doesn't HAVE to be on the birth certificate, all he has to do is prove paternity and a DNA test will do that. You have no real proof that he is an unfit parent so there is nothing you can do if he wants to see his child. You claim to be so much more mature than he is? I'm not seeing it.
2007-10-11 18:31:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand your feelings and I hear you, but HE HAS RIGHTS to his child. I don't think parents should keep children from another parent. The child is going to want to know that parent some time in life and it is not cool to get them from knowing them. If he's not a good role model when the child is born than you take it from there, but you have to find out for the child's sake. Be good to you and your baby.
2007-10-15 14:48:54 · answer #5 · answered by IWTK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Basically if he is not married to you and doesn't put name on birth cert; he has no claim on the child but he can still be liable to pay child support. It is a tricky one this - go to a good solicitor for advice, and if you are scared this so and so will be unpleasant towards you don't be, put all the facts before a solicitor who will help you to get support for the child and an injunction to protect you if needed and advise you on several other points as well.
2007-10-11 14:58:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well no matter what i think you should make him pay for child support it is his child whether he wanted it or not. maybe he has changed ? you have to let him at least see the baby once, but be very clear that if he acts up you are done with him for good no more chances
2007-10-11 15:23:41 · answer #7 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every father has a right to help raise thier child. You should feel lucky, alot of men walk out as soon as they find out you are pregnant and then you have to fight them in court to step up to the plate
2007-10-11 18:42:18 · answer #8 · answered by cutiepututie28 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont put him on the birth certificate
and go to a lawyer NOW and get papers drawn up and make him sign off on this child so he Can't come back
2007-10-11 14:48:53 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way, you are ready or you are not. Fathers are supposed to be truly excited to have a child...there is no thinking about it then changing your mind
2007-10-11 15:26:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋