we are like a team when we are together and we always keep a smile on our face. He told me the about a month ago that he wanted to spoil me and can sees us together and gettin married one day he is 29 and i am 22. Then when we was in the moment he says i want you to have my child lol i was like whattttttt u have losted ur mind. Well now it is like he wants to be with me but he dont he is keeping things from me now that we use to beable to talk about. Did i do something wrong i told him i just need sometime on the baby thing because i dont want just a baby daddy i want a husband then a kid. How can i fix this? I dont know if i even can??!!
2007-10-11 14:19:22 · 46 answers · asked by More then one on this account 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe he's taking it as a rejection. Maybe he feels the ultimate sign of love is when you have a child together.
But *don't* get pregnant until you're ready.
Talk to him and tell him how much he means to you. Ask if he's disappointed that you want to wait, or if there's some other reason he's distant. Explain that you love him very much but you want things to happen in the right order, and you're also very young to be starting a family.
I hope you can get things back to the way they were - you sound like a nice couple. Good luck and ((((( HUGS )))))).
2007-10-11 14:25:11 · answer #1 · answered by slishou 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It depends, did you actually yell "What!!!!!!"? If you did, you've no doubt rattled him and his confidence.
He may have opened up like he's never done so before, and you shot him down in flames. Have you had a difference of opinion before? Basically he's been shocked and now he is unsure. He may have been under the impression that you were perfectly suited and you would feel the same way about everything, and this has been his wake-up call.
So what do you do? Anything? you have explained you reaction, but it has been a month. The mature thing to do is discuss it. point out how he has been this month and ask him what he needs to get over it. Don't blame him, or corner him, that'll only lead to a fight and make thing worse.
No-one can give you concrete advice, as it all comes down to his maturity and we don't know him.
2007-10-11 14:31:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you didn't do anything wrong. It sounds to me like he is being a little childish about the whole thing. It's like he wanted you to have his baby soon, before marriage and since you didn't go against "what you believe in", then you deserve to be punished by him keeping things from you.
I think you should stick to what you believe in no matter what! If he truly respects you then he will still be there. This is a good time for him to learn that you will not be pushed around and told what to do. Times are fun right now...in the dating stage and all, but he needs to learn that you are your own person and you will not let something happen to you that you are not ready for.
I mean, he may be a perfectly good guy and all, it's just that he is acting selfishly on this and he needs to realize that. Good luck to you.
2007-10-11 14:29:27 · answer #3 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has the future all figured out but he hasn't asked you about it. This is the first step, to have the baby, but then you don't know what he may want next - perhaps to be a stay at home father while you work. You need to get counseling with him and if he doesn't want to go that will give you some idea of what life would be like with him. The fact that he wants you to have his baby is like a dog urinating on a tree to mark his territory it sound like. It sounds like if you marry him you may end up with 2 babies on your hand, the baby and the child.
you had better step back and get some counseling or get rid of that guy.
2007-10-11 14:35:36 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thing is that a relationship it's like that. When your in the moment people say many things but the truth is that it is all sex talk. He likes and he cares about you but I think that he figured out that he was moving to fast so he's taking it slow. Talk to him about the relationship and ask him if he still feels the same about you. This is not something that can be fix but it's something that you two can surpass. I say go on with the relationship and talk to him about the level of communication that you both want to have in the relationship.
2007-10-11 14:32:17 · answer #5 · answered by tootsiebrownie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns girl - if you want to be married before you have a baby that is your choice!
Try to get him to talk to you - explain to him that you are still so young and you don't want to be an unmarried Mom. Explain that you DO love him and would love to have his child but you have your own dreams which involve marriage to the man you love before you have children.
If he loves you enough to want to have a baby with you for the right reasons he will understand where you are coming from and may even propose in time.
At the same time you have to try and work out his thinking on these important issues - why does he want a baby? Does he ever want to get married? etc. His reasons are as important as yours and he may have some valid points.
Good luck.
2007-10-11 14:27:32 · answer #6 · answered by Jen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it out if you can, but if he wants to talk babies ask him if marriage or a similar set up is on the cards, because if not pet, bringing kids up is a hard job, so with or without him don't get lumbered too soon (having a family is lovely but not too soon and not if you are not both up for it). Bless you if he is making you upset over this ditch him and find someone with a real head on his shoulders, you are worth so much more.
2007-10-11 14:30:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering how long you have been together? First off, NEVER have a child if there are any doubts. You are so young and have sooo much time. If you are meant to be with this man, then wait awhile until you are married (which is what you say you want) and then work on that. One thing at a time. Don't miss today because you are worried about tomorrow.
2007-10-11 14:24:05 · answer #8 · answered by replexgirl 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First off, I'm not an expert so this is just my two cents...
(1) Don't EVER let someone make you settle for something that you are not really wanting to do.
(2) Just give him some time. We all have emotions that we deal with in different ways-- and he has those too!
(3) Talk to him about it. Explain the way you feel and if he can't appreciate that then you're going to have to stick with your standards.
Hope this is worth something to you!!
2007-10-11 14:25:14 · answer #9 · answered by Maravilla 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if he can't respect your morals then that is cr@p...i was in your shoes once...and i stood my ground...i told him he can take it or leave it...its not like i was telling him no..i was just telling him not yet...exactly like your doing...don't back down and if this is all over weither or not you wanna have a baby RIGHT now then whats gonna happen when something big arrises and you each take separate sides??? There is nothing to be fixed...you told him how it was and you were honest...all you can do is sit him down and maybe discuss some of the reasons why you want to wait...so he better understands...maybe to him he is thinking your not ready to be that commited to him and he is hurting...a ring is one thing starting a family is taking it to a whole new level...
2007-10-11 14:26:21 · answer #10 · answered by buschchick 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋