my husband is abusive i dont want to have another baby with him what shold i do?
2007-10-11 14:14:01 · 28 answers · asked by UzzieM 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I know it's too late to tell you should not have been sleeping with an abuser, because getting pregnant is always a possibility. But as things are, you have 2 options:
1. Give the baby up for adoption
2. Get a legal separation and raise the children on your own - it would be ideal to live with or near family so they will have a good male role model to grow up with
I'm sorry you are in this mess and I pray all goes well with you.
2007-10-11 14:18:21 · answer #1 · answered by Veritas 7 · 5⤊ 3⤋
The baby doesn't have the blame for any of this, even though your husband may be abusive you shouldn't ruine a newborn life or should i say unborn.. There are other options with this you can turn your husband in or what you can do is have the baby and then give it up to an adoption family and show that you did it for a certain reason not just because you didn't want it.. why don't you just leave your husband and have your baby and be happy just the both of you and maybe later on in life you can find some that will accept you and your child. i would really do something like if my husband was abusive, ok here's and example from personal experience my parents had me in the their ealry 30s and well my parents hardly got along and my dad would actually beat my mom and well what they did was just got a divorce i fully recommend that. if you need any assistance just email me..
2007-10-11 14:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by Lips of an Angel 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think the baby is not the biggest issue that you have to face.
Living in an an abusive relationship is. Although everyone here is saying that you shouldn't have slept with him, I can understand that at times you might not get a say in this matter, same goes for using protection, so no lectures from me in that department.
Although you may rely on him financially, and emotionally, yes even abused women need emotional support in what ever form they can get it, you have to realize that you are better off without him, you are a strong woman, you have to be to support his abusive habit, you can do it by yourself, do you really want to subject your children to the same abuse he subjects you to? or even learning the same bad habits from him, and have them be abusive as they get older?
What you decide is up to you, but I wouldn't get rid of your unborn baby, but I would get rid of the abusive husband.
2007-10-11 14:36:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anastasia 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's your husband of course your going to have sex with him. Your not some teenager that just got knocked up by a boyfriend that hits her. This is supposed to be your life partner. So don't listen to people saying, "You should have known not to have sex with him." Let's see how many of them would say no to their husband or wife. However, he doesn't deserve you, so in that case you shouldn't be giving yourself to or be with someone who doesn't deserve you for your sake. But you didn't do anything wrong by having sex with him, like so many people are acting like. The rest is up to you. Everyone has different beliefs about abortion/pro-life. What is YOUR opinion. If you think its not wrong to abort and you want to then abort. If you think its wrong to abort, then dont' abort. If you want the child keep it. If you want adoption give it up. If you want to leave your husband leave him. I really would agree with leaving your husband though. That one is different. No one should be abused. And you don't want your children being abused either, your current or potential future child. Remember people that abuse rarely change. Don't believe him just becuase he says that he won't hurt you anymore.
2007-10-12 15:16:27 · answer #4 · answered by Green Tea Happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easy here for people to tell you to 'choose life' and say you shouldn't have had sex w/ him. It's so judgmental. My advice,,,seek support from a domestic violence/mental health professional. More often than not they don't charge a fee or the fee in minimal. It's totally anonymous. Also, if your husband doesn't know you are pregnant and you want an abortion, it's okay to get one. It's your choice and no one can judge you if they don't know. Either way, seek unbiased professional help. Your life and the life/ves of your child/ren don't have to be this way. If leaving right now isn't safe or realistic, make a long term plan. Stash money away, etc. until the time is right. Be brave & strong for yourself and your kid/s. Best of luck to you!
2007-10-12 07:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by MoonPie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well first get out of the relationship! no man should ever hurt you. however that isn't the babies fault. you have to take responsibility and really think about what you should do. a baby is something beautiful and innocent but if you really decide you don't want it (and you may change your mind after it is born) then give it up for adoption. there are countless families lining up for babies. there are people who steal babies to sell for money because so many couples want one! i mean hundreds of couples! so just don't abort it there are so many people who would love a baby. remember this is YOUR baby not just your husbands so having the baby doesn't mean you have to stay with him.
2007-10-11 14:21:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I think what alot of people don't understand with your situation is that when you have an abusive husband, you don't get a CHOICE to have sex with him.
Also, do you not want the baby because you are staying with him? Or because you can't raise 2 kids alone? I really think you need to leave him. It's not a good situation for your other child or for yourself. If you can afford to raise your other child and the new baby, then do it. Otherwise I strongly urge you to give the baby up for adoption. Someone out there will love your baby unconditionally. But no matter what....GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP.
2007-10-11 14:27:27 · answer #7 · answered by qυєєи of му cαsтlє ♥ 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Leave your husband, and do what u can for your baby. there are plenty of places that will help you, don't have an abortion becuz its not right when people use that as a form of birth control......if you didn't want to have a baby with an abusive partner, you should have at least been using protection
2007-10-11 14:18:12 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Kristen♥ 3 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would advise you to get a divorce and if you really do not want another child then give him or her up for adoption. But you don't need to be with him to raise a baby. Yes, you need support and help but you don't necessarily need him to give it to you. Don't abort your baby because of him. You don't like the abuse you receive from him so don't abuse your baby!
2007-10-11 14:21:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
if you really dont want this baby then its up to you no else, i dont really agree with abortion but its better, because if you dont leave your husband, he could hurt the baby when he beats you or i dont know the exact laws but, you can have an abortion without your husbands say so, personally i wouldnt tell your husband as he might call you about it and beat you, and adoption im not 100% but you might need your husband to agree to it and if he says no then he can go for custody and he might treat the child bad, or incase you might want to keep the baby, leave you husband before he finds out, also when you give birth or get further in your pregnacy you may want the child, you wouldnt be giving the baby its best start in life by forcing it into your situation, you havfe choices you child dont, so if you do, move to a mother and child hostel, they will help you get on your feet, or move in with a friend or family member who you can trust and confide in, you need to decide asap, good luck xxx. ps to the people who say dont kill the child, some people dont have the chioce i agree she should of used protection, im struggling to get pregnat so i might end up adopting, but maybe haveing a abortion is better than her husband beating her about it and ruining that kids life. can people tell me why are you giving bad ratings to peoples advice i can understand if its nasty or bad, but just because you dont agree is wrong! people have choices and im sorry but there is only two here seen as she really doesnt want the baby, adoption is marvolous but giving away a baby is not giving away a object its hard, ive already said i dont agree with abortion but its there for reasons, if its not for you fine just stop being so judgmental. if she carrys the baby then decides she cant give it up for adoption what life will that child have, and i know what im talking about, i was abused myself, and i wish it on no child
2007-10-11 14:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by Maid In Britain 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋