For AMUSEMENT!! Can you write me a letter of APOLOGY for something you have done?

Question

Dear Silva,

Answer 1

Dear Silva,
I am sorry I'm wasting your time with this lame-a*s apology letter, because a) there is nothing to apologize for; b) after this, you will probably think i am thoughtless and greedy and only care for the points; and c) i don't know why you would think that b/c it's not true; and d) i am going to quit before this whole thing gets even more retarded. sorry indeed.

Answer 2

Dear Silvia
I am writing to apologize for the stubborn carpet stain left over from the toga party last Friday night while you were in the hospital having an appendectomy. I also realize the damages to your antique hutch that toppled over when we were all break-dancing. I am sorry about the loss of your grandmothers Nippon China. I think the hinges can be replaced on the hutch doors but I don't know what to do about the splintering of the complete unit. When we ran out of booze, we sent one of the guys down to the local market to get more. How was I supposed to know he didn't have a license ! What's more-- I didn't even know he wasn't 21 yet. He just showed up at the door and said he was your neighbor! So, I am sorry also about the damages to the garage door when your new Lamborghini crashed through it. Look on the bright side-- now you can have that breeze way you always talked about!
Again, I am truly sorry and I hope you are feeling better now.

Your friend,
INK

Answer 3

Dear Silva,

It is with a heavy, burdened heart and in great secrecy that I confess and apologize to you for revealing the mantra and greeting of the sisterhood. Hitherto, I had abided by the strict oath and had never defaulted in any guise. But while I was waiting at the airport lobby yesterday for my delayed flight, I was informed after several wasted hours that my flight had been cancelled. I was so upset that I did not know when I shouted "What the hell?!"
Everyone turned to stare at me in surprise and I realised sadly that I had given away our secret Mantra which had remained an esoteric mystery for centuries and remained unuttered in public domain. I promise to make restitution to the sisterhood to be purged and made whole again from this act of betrayal.

Maybe we could change the mantra to something else?

Long Live the Sisterhood!!

Answer 4

Dear Silva,
I am deeply sorry for having destroyed your house with my 18-wheeler; but a buddy called me on the cell and asked how it was going. Well, I couldn't ignore that, could I? So I somehow drifted off the road. Accidents happen, right?
You'll be glad to hear that my truck got off better than your house, so I was able to drive away with not much trouble. I probably should have checked to see if I killed you or your cat or something - but I had places to go, you know?
Am sending this to your home address even though it doesn't exist any more. But perhaps the mailman may know where you are, if you are.
I didn't include my own address because I wanted to give you an excuse not to bother yourself with a letter of thanks. Didn't sign it, either.

Answer 5

Dear Silva,
I apologize for taking so long to respond to your request as it has been a tough year. Britney still won't wear underwear and Amy won't stop drinking. At least Lindsay is finally getting the help she needs. Anyways, I am sure that you have heard that Denise is still fighting with that ex of hers-it is getting pretty nasty. While Pam (who says Hi by the way) just got engaged. Oh well, I have to keep it brief as I am waiting to hear from Orlando. He was out partying again last night and landed in some trouble.
Hope all is well with you!
Friends forever,
Julie
__________________________________
for those of you who don't follow celebrity gossip:
Britney spears
Amy winehouse
Lindsay lohan
Denise richards
Pam anderson
Orlando bloom

Answer 6

My Dearest Silva-
It has come to my attention through various sources that I was in error and that my behaviour was a bit out of line in our most recent meeting. It would seem I owe you an apology. However, it is only fair that I say a few words in my defense.
First of all, I can only say that I was certain that I was in a proctology office. There was nothing on your nurse's uniform to indicate that I was not, and I definately require my annual prostate examination. That may go a long way towards explaining the position you discovered me in upon making your first impression.
Secondly, after your informing me that it was a dermatology office, I did not immediately put my clothes back on because I have serious concerns over the mole on my posterior. I've been informed that it changes color in certain lighting.
Furthermore, the "obscene thrusting gestures" you refer to in your affadavit were nothing more than the result of a man listening to his chiropractor! I have a very sore lumbar region and he tells me to rotate my hips in order to remain limber. I'm sure you can see where that may be misinterpreted in light of the situation we were in.
And finally, just for the record, I was not "coming on to you." I had been day dreaming about Sandra Bulluck before you entered the room so that is a totally unfair statement! And incidentally it was cold in that room and that's all I'm going to say about that.
Therefore, dearest Silva, please inform your attorney that no further action will be necessary and that the entire incident was a misunderstanding. Again. I'm truly sorry.

Yours in embarassment,

Cheese

PS.....call me.

Answer 7

Dear Silva,

I must apologize, because while I sit here and write this letter to you, I am distracted by the overwhelming desire to rent D3: The Mighty Ducks ... You see, I have found that I have grown quite sentimental these past couple of months, relishing in the years free of debt and obligation. My first real love, Emilio Estevez, may be the only one to get me out of this funk... Paula Abdul, oh to have had her 80's heartthrob! What a saucy wench.

QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK,
eternally yours,
The lost ugly duckling

Answer 8

Dear Silva,

I am completely and abjectly sorry for that incident last fourth of July. I'm still not sure how your house ended up on fire, though I do seem to recall your cat streaking through the fireworks. My fault again I'm afraid, as I just couldn't hold onto him.

I can't believe what happened to your pool either - who knew it would be filled with Jello that solidified into a cement-like mass that couldn't even be blasted out? I am so sorry that I gave the idea to the neighborhood kids, even if it was accidental.

My apologies for your bar-b-cue ending up in Asia. I totally misread the box and instead of assembling it, shipped it back to sender. I'm sure no one minded eating take-out pizza instead, even if it was stone-cold and slimy by the time I returned with it as the police stopped me - twice - to question me about the unfortunate mailbox incident. Who knew your mailbox was flammable, too! Well I guess I did, after accidentally knocking it over with your new Porsche.

Oh about the car - my humble contrition for that too. I kinda jumped when the console spoke to me, and that, well...um... the mailbox was not the only casualty I'm afraid. Though I do have to say no humans or animals were harmed in the longest 15-minute drive ever, for which I'm eternally grateful.

While I'm making a full confession, I might as well explain about your bra ending up on Bob. You see, it got mixed in with mine after your camping trip and Bob was...well...he was testing out its durability, I'm sure.

And as for...what? She's not the same Silva I need to apologize to? I actually need to IM Lady Gloria Faducci, screenname Silva?

My shame-faced penitence for this last mistake is already legendary, Silva ma'am. Might you please forgive me for mistaking your identity? Actually, you have been so patient with my ramblings - might we be friends?

Sincerely sorry,
JustMe

Answer 9

Under your door popped a little pink envelope. As you stooped to pick it up, you found it mildly scented... aahhhh the smell of coconuts...

You couldn't resist. You ripped it open!

Dear Silva,

I should have told you sooner, how much you mean to me.
I look forward to your postings with anticipation. Thank you so much for the daily challenge. You and so many others have rekindled an old passion, and for that ... I am eternally grateful.

Please forgive me.

Touche

Answer 10

Dear Silva:

I wanted to offer my most sincere apologies for having accidentally touched your shoe while in the women's restroom yesterday. I was trying my best to find out if the "wide stance" which is so much in fashion these days can actually be accomplished by anyone without double joints, and I am afraid my foot accidentally slipped. Just in case you were wondering, I believe that the wide stance which is so talked about is actually only possible if you happen to be at the GYN's office, in the stirrups. All of that leads me to believe that the Honorable Gentleman from Idaho was actually trying to give birth in that nasty public restroom incident. I have scrutinized photos of him, and he doesn't look pregnant, but you know those tall folks--they can pull of pregnancies better than the rest of us...

Anyway, I wanted to apologize for freaking you out so badly. I had given up on my experiments and was finally trying to do the side-to-side splits when my foot slipped and touched yours, but I wanted to let you know that I am sorry for any mental distress you may have suffered. It was not my intent to ruin your experience, which I am sure you will agree is always a very pleasant one when in a crowded ladies room in an international airport.

Best regards,

Bronwen