How can I overcome this?

Question

I hold all of my negative emotions inside for months until I finally explode and let out all my anger. I can not seem to face small issues as they come. If I try to tell someone something negative I get hot and shaky and feel sick. What can I do?

Answer 1

This is a very TYPICAL reaction that women have when they try to assert themselves. Don't feel that it's a personal failing.

The first thing to do is to concentrate on valuing yourself, and not others. People with solid self-esteem do not let other people's approval or dislike rattle them. Self-esteem can be built, but it takes patient effort.

Many people (esp. women!) are taught as children and teens that their only value is in what they do for other people, how useful they are to other people. This is unhealthy, and not the truth, but it's typical socialization. You can overcome this with positive feedback to yourself, and focus on yourself. Learn to value yourself just because you're here, not for how you "take care" of other people's egos.

First step in this is learning to say "No."
Next step is letting go of trying to control other people.
Next step is self-care---eating well, dressing well, living well, and not putting yourself into stressful, dangerous, or crisis situations.
Next step is learning to "feel" and admit your emotions and reactions, but also to control your reactions to those emotions. It can be done.
You must step up to value yourself. You must let go of trying to "people-please" everyone. You must never take abuse.
You must set boundaries, and stick with them.

Answer 2

You need to gain some self confidence and take each day and issue one at a time. It isn't good to blow off steam and the way to handle issues is when they happen or a day or so after. Good luck

Answer 3

Find a close friend who you are comfortable talking to and who can understand how you feel that way it will be natural to talk about negative thoughts and feelings without worrying what thye'll think of you.