I have been married for 10 years have 3 kids, and over the past 3 months my husband has been cheating, I have proof and have kept my mouth shut the old let him hang himself. I want custody of my kids.. I got so upset one day I gave up alittle of the info I knew, the taking her out to dinners all the calls he was lying about etc.. SO now he has apologized to me for that part of the deciet he denys ever telling her he loves her or that it went further.. so he and the girl have come up with the situation they want to be out in the open, and for me to give my permission for them to see each other 1 night a week.. I have not given permission as that to me is dating.. I am confused as he tells me one thing then when I hit his emails I can read what he is telling her.. they text 20 times a day she calls from 6am-1 in the morning, and he was hiding it now he doesn't since "he is being honest" what he doesn't know is I know everything they have done. what would you do in this situation?
2007-10-11 13:34:09 · 34 answers · asked by baghussy222 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, be absolutely comfortable and resolved with whatever decision you make. There can be no waivering once you make your decision.
Secondly, carefully plan your next move without drawing too much attention.
Thirdly, go for the throat on the sorry bastard and make him wish he respected the decency of marriage.
Lastly, enjoy your life and realize you made the best decision you ever could make when hes gone.
2007-10-11 14:16:35 · answer #1 · answered by catfish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you nuts!? What is wrong with you!? Do you really need strange people that don't even know you to tell you what you should do? I'm not sorry for being so rude because this is something that I feel very passionate about. I was cheated on in my first marriage and never even gave him a chance to take a breath before I showed him the door and told him to use it. I am not a fan of betrayal. If you need something to consider than consider this he was willing to go behind your back to be with this woman and chanced losing you but is he even willing to give her up to save your marriage? No he wants you at home raising the kids cleaning and fixing dinner and her for everything else. What kind of relationship is that? You my dear deserve so much better, don't you?
2007-10-11 13:54:44 · answer #2 · answered by fireylilelf6988 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you stay another minute you are doing yourself and your children an injustice! He is totally disrespecting you and the kids in every way possible. Why would you want to stay in such a grim situation? Trust me your kids can feel the tension. They are a lot smarter than you think! He is a complete SLIME! Leave him. Don't even explain why. Tell him as you are leaving that he now has permission to date the HO as often as he'd like or better yet let her move in and do his laundry and cook and clean for him. They will not think it is as much fun when REALITY finally sets in. Do not ever look back. I wish you lots of good luck! Hope everything works out for you!
2007-10-11 14:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by TABBY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you his mother or his wife? I can not believe your sitting here stating :"so he and the girl have come up with the situation they want to be out in the open, and for me to give my permission for them to see each other 1 night a week". That is just ridiculous.
The girl has helped him come up with this? gee how sweet of her , how does it feel to know she's laughing at you behind your back and telling her friend's and family and who ever else will listen how she has her boy friend's wife right where she wants her? Wake up sweetheart please for your kids sakes if nothing else .
Tell him there is no way your going to allow him to set this bad example for your children and that his selfishness is uncalled for , childish and it just shows nothing more then stupidity.
Pack his bag and tell the "girlfriend" sure you can date , because now you'll be living together. Then find a lawyer file for divorce and go his @zz for half of every darn thing.
2007-10-11 14:12:34 · answer #4 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Demand he either stop the affair and all contact with the other woman, or he get the heck out!
Your his wife and you have rights. He needs to get his priorities straight! No, he does not have the right to hurt you and just do as he pleases. If he wants to act single, well, then he might end up being that way. If you don't confront him and make your demands known, he will take it as acceptance. Nothing more screwed up as the self delusion of a cheater!
Be "honest", you will not live like this, it is hurtful to you.
I suggest that you find a strong support group with others who are going through this kind of thing. Whether or not your marriage survives, you need support.
http://www.lifesaviors.com/SI/
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/
A yahoo group site with lots of helpful information. Look in FILES. Easy to join, then check out the links and files. Not an active support group.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AffairsTalk/
2007-10-12 02:48:36 · answer #5 · answered by joyh 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would divorce him and get custody of the kids. Do you think they would respect you if they found out? Do you have daughters? I am not judging, you should not have to be the victim here. "Being honest?!?!?" No, being a dirtbag. Talk about having your cake and eating it too. I am sure you are a wonderful wife and mother, and yet, we all have our flaws. But in the end, the girlfriend has less ties and more fun appeal, and you will just end up being hurt. My sister lost her husband of 6 years to his online candian g/f when she was 5 months pregnant with their second child. It will not be easy, but think of your kids.
That, or go for couples' counseling. Make him sever ties. If he can do it, there is hope. My thoughts are with you!
2007-10-11 13:40:47 · answer #6 · answered by Kimmi 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is time that you accept the reality of the situation.
Your marriage is over. I know, bad news... but the good news is you are still young, beautiful, and a worth while woman. So the sooner you accept the reality of the situation, the sooner you can do something about it.
Hire a lawyer... a real good lawyer... and divorce him. Just do your best not to harm your children in the process. Always put their needs first.
Good luck. I will pray for you all.
2007-10-11 13:38:54 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kick his AZZ to the curb. Get your lawyer now and get the ball rolling. Tell your husband that he does not have your permission at all. Let him know that you do not care how honest he is being he is still an unfaithful lout. File for divorce and tell him, after he is served with the papers, that he has your permission to move in with her now cause he is moving out of your house. What a jerk he is!!!!
2007-10-11 13:41:29 · answer #8 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do not divorce yet. Just stay away from him with your kids. And tell him that he still has time to some back to you on the condition that he forgets this other woman.
Now, I know it may not seem right. But you both need to be together for the kids. Divorce is not the solution.
Try you level best to get your husband back to you, get this woman out of your lives and your family happy again.
If it doesn't work out, I think you both will have to divorce.
And yes, please do not give your permission. I am surprised you even asked this question.
2007-10-11 13:40:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
He isn't worth the trouble if you already know he is cheating on you. You don't deserve that treatment and he doesn't deserve YOU. Make the move to get on with your life and be a good mother to your precious children. God Bless you.
2007-10-11 13:41:04 · answer #10 · answered by Jan C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋