Shes mentally unable and we cannot afford to put her in a nursing home, she is 95 and my dad always cleans it up after I get home but im tired of her going in my room thinking she's in the bathroom and crapping on the floor. When I come home it looks like Saddam Hussein bombed Charlie's Chocalate Factory in my room, and the smell is unbearable. My dad wont let me lock my door either! HELP!
2007-10-11 12:56:34 · 39 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
put a bathroom sign on your dads bedroom door, maybe she'll go in there.
2007-10-11 13:10:59 · answer #1 · answered by notmygame 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Great Grma is being allowed to rule and you're being abused in the process. Wonderful family dynamics there.
Solving one problem, allowing Grma to live at home doesn't mean family members are abused by that. Something has to be done.
Some Ideas:
Lay Plastic in the areas where she things she's on the potty and quickly dispose of this easily when you return to your room and open the windows and spray the air.
Remove the folded plastic to the kitchen or your Grma's bedroom where the stench can have enough of an effect to ge to get your point across to other family members that it's gross.
This is bacterially unsafe and physically unhealthy. Do some research, print off paperwork, attach to said wrapped plastic doody and deposit in the bathroom.
Remove your things to the garage. Sleep on the couch. Go stay with a friend. Make an anonymous phone call to CPS, but do something that gets you out of that room and helps your family to see that you are not going to be "**** on"....no pun intended.
Honestly, it's amazing what you can accomplish towards change when others in the family are faced with the issue besides you.
2007-10-12 13:15:02 · answer #2 · answered by autumlovr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is such a constant problem, why the hell won't your dad let you lock the door? That's doesn't make sense to me. If your Grandma needs that much care, why the hell is she even being allowed to go to the bathroom unassisted?
I'm sorry if I seem insensitive, but if your family is going to look after someone that far gone, you have to make changes and limit her access. Do they lock away the chemicals and cleaners, just in case she drinks them? Do they keep the front door locked in case she wants to walk out into traffic naked? I mean seriously, this is your home, and you all should have a private space to retreat to when caring for grandma gets to much.
If you're old enough, it's time to move out. I understand that your family needs your help and all that, but there is a limit to what you should be expected to tolerate. Or just start locking your room. Just tell your Dad that you can't stand it any more and are going to lock the room. Give him a copy of the key if he's worried you're hiding drugs or something, but you have to insist that you can't live in a bathroom. It's disgusting and unsanitary.
Good luck.
2007-10-11 13:05:51 · answer #3 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have to deal with such a thing ... that would be hard but I can't really see a way to force the issue given the circumstances. You said your dad always cleans in up so at least you don't have to deal with that. As far as the smell goes .... get yourself a small bottle of Pinesol and pour a little into a bowl or something .... leave it in your bathroom (out of the way so it doesn't get spilled or mistaken for something else) I guarantee it will get rid of the smell !!!
I know it's hard but hang in there ... your gramma isn't doing it on purpose and I'm sure you wouldn't want to make her feel any worse than she probably already does.
Take care : )
P.S. Pinesol is just a regular household cleaner with a very strong scent. You can get it at the grocery store or Walmart.
2007-10-11 13:11:27 · answer #4 · answered by uncle louie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although this is pretty repulsive, your grandmother does not have control over what she does. You can't "make" her not do it.
I do feel bad for you, but I'm going to ask you to show some backbone here.
Your parents are under a lot of stress, caring for a person who is mentally unstable. Have some compassion for them and for your grandmother. Someday you too will not be able to make it to the bathroom. The indignities of old age catch up to all of us eventually.
I know it smells bad and it's your private room, but see if you can focus on helping your parents in any way you can. Offer to do some stuff around the house to help take the pressure off them. It's not only difficult taking care of her, but they have to face that she's reaching the end of her life.
Without making a big deal out of it, ask if you can move to the basement temporarily.
I wish you good luck. I'm sorry you have to go through this. (I'm tempted to say lock your door anyway - that seems reasonable to me.)
2007-10-11 13:17:05 · answer #5 · answered by slishou 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isnt fair to you at all. I feel for grandma,being one myself, but there has to be another way to take care of her without letting her go to the bathroom in your room. Medicare will pay for a home health nurse to come in and take care of her at least during the day when your parents arent there. If I were your parents, I'd do some online research on what choices they have for handling grandma. This situation cant go on forever, but I'll bet it feels like that to you right now. Insist you keep your door locked. How would your parents feel if she used their room instead?
2007-10-11 13:05:12 · answer #6 · answered by techtwosue 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She does need 24 hour care and if she owns very little she can get medicare/medicaid to get her placed. I think the poop problem is pointing to a larger problem. She could get hurt wandering around in the house like that. Maybe your father wont listen but the time is quickly approaching when the choice will be taken out of his hands because she will get hurt. Diapers such as Depends would be a great short term solution.
2007-10-11 15:31:32 · answer #7 · answered by ncgirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The adult diapers might be the way to go for now. You should be able to lock your door........
This is sad. She NEEDS to be in a supervised home. Tell your folks to call local social services and Medicare and find out what help is available. Your Dad probably just is nervous or afraid to ask for help.
If she doesn't have much money they have a program (called Title 9 I think?) where they take over any assets she has and then pay the cost for her long-term care. The surrent situation is unhealthy for you, not to mention it just sucks to see your Grandma this way.
2007-10-11 13:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by Win S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your dad should buy a potty chair made for the elderly & keep it in the main bathroom, not your bathroom. Your dad should allow you to lock your door. That's not a pleasant thing to deal with. (I worked in a nursing home)
2007-10-11 13:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's door knob covers that are designed for toddlers to keep them from opening the door. I would check the discount stores in the infant department. The covers are inexpensive made of plastic. Find a picture of a toilet and attach it to the bathroom door at Grandmoms eye level. Good luck.
2007-10-11 13:12:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry for all of you. I can understand your frustration but please understand that if Grandma were aware of what her long life had come to, she would probably rather go to her rest.
I understand how your Dad feels. It is gut-wrenching to have to put your Mom or Dad in a nursing home. Have your parents looked into Social Services or Medicare to see if there is any help for them?
2007-10-11 13:03:21 · answer #11 · answered by TheHumbleOne 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋