She is super nice and I do love her, but I don't know if I can afford to keep up with her lifestyle. If we keep seeing each other, we may decide to get married and I don't want one of those wife that will spend all my paycheck on things she doesn't need. Do you think its best to end it now before it becomes too late. I don't want to have to worry about making a million bucks to keep her satisfy.
2007-10-11 12:34:42 · 18 answers · asked by gambitleblanc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I guess it depends how materialistic she really is. If it's extreme, then I would hold off on marriage for now until some resolution can be achieved. Otherwise, it will result in disaster.
All I can say is; talk to her, express your concerns and go from there.
Communication is key to any successful relationship.
2007-10-11 12:41:01 · answer #1 · answered by Infernal Disaster 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit and talk to her about this. It may be that her lifestyle is what she wants and will leave you if you can't afford that lifestyle but it could also be insecurities she shows by going after material things. Was her mother like this for example, and did she get that from her? It could even be that she is living the lifestyle she can afford now and will adapt quite well to whatever income you have. You have to talk to her to find out now before letting the relationship go any further.
2007-10-11 19:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she with you because you have money all the time? If you say you love her and she loves you too, then you need to sit with her and tell her that with her spending money on material things is not always going to be that way if you both get married. If she has a problem with what you say to her, then you know for a fact, that she is in this relationship because of your money, not because of you.
I would consider reading "10 Stupid Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives." Read this book before making any decision to marry.
2007-10-11 20:15:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with ending a relationship because of a major incompatibility. As you say - better now than later, after you have both invested time and effort into the relationship. If you don't want to be married to a person who possesses a certain trait, then don't date a person who possesses this trait. Find someone compatible. Finances is a very important part of marriage, and you really don't want to be total opposites on that.
2007-10-11 19:40:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The woman that you are involved with is super nice as you put it but, you already have something that you dont like about her and she is to materialistic for you. Most people never notice things in people before it is to late but you have notice somethings already, Why dont you sit down with her and find out where her head is at . Than you can decide what to do .
best of luck
2007-10-11 19:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People change, but they don't change THAT much. If she is materialistic, or as I like to call it "High Maintenence", there is a good chance she is always going to be this way. You have to think do you really love her, can you deal with her spending habits? Because you don't want to get married and end up on Dr. Phil in six months
2007-10-11 19:50:16 · answer #6 · answered by lindysflygirl4ever 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say talk to her about it. She may you need you to at least tell her that this is bothering you before you leave her. If you really like her you would tell her up front. Maybe she doesn't even know it is distressing you ,or that she is behaving in a negative manner. Best said" You can not change what you do not acknowledge." Be patient, and if it doesn't work be get out of the situation.
2007-10-12 10:00:52 · answer #7 · answered by Kelsey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, end it now. Obviously you & her are not compatiable thats the bottom line. Ask this to yourself..Will she stay with you if you were poor, broke & had no material things to offer or whatever. Will she be there to support you?
Don't say anything to her. Put her to the test. Mention that you're in a difficult financial situation right now and things need to change. See if she agrees or if its just material she wants from you.
2007-10-11 19:41:51 · answer #8 · answered by jtease 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some guys like taking care of their woman like that. But i personally can't stand a woman who buys expensive things for no reason. And I'm not talking about jewelery. I mean like paying a 1000 dollars for a hand-bag is just wrong. I would dump her instead of wasting my time. But that's me. You have to see if you love her and can put up with her ridiculous spending.
2007-10-11 19:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by ace 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it can be a real problem. and I suspect it is good that you realize that, now before it's to late. A person who is used to getting everything as a child , generally thinks that it will continue after marriage.
2007-10-11 19:44:56 · answer #10 · answered by fuzzykitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋