We've been married 17 yrs. High school sweethearts. Now as we mature (one of us anyway) we have grown apart. We have two children together.
2007-10-11 11:47:32 · 9 answers · asked by Tee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is never a right time for you to ask for divoice but if you are unhappy than your wife already knows this. you have been married for seventeen years high school sweet hearts sometimes people do grow apart. You have two children together you sound like your not using your kids to stay married to your wife. But it will be hard on the children think this over seriously before you leap. This is your choice not mines do what ever makes you happy.
best of luck
2007-10-11 12:43:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The time is right when you realize there is no love left in the relationship. They say experience is the best teacher. Well my experience taught me to face up to the truth, be honest with yourself and your partner and move on.
I know this is much more difficult when there are children involved. Remember a couple of things about kids. 1- They see and know more than we give them credit for. If you and your husband do not have a loving, close, good relationship; I'll bet your kids know that also. Also, if there is constant fighting, arguing or silent treatments, these patterns affect the kids too. 2- Kids are very adaptible. If/when the divorce comes they will adjust. They may not like it at first, but they will adjust. You and your husband can assist in the adjustment if you all sit down together and tell them straight out what is happening and why. This would also be an opportunity for both you and your husband to let the kids know that the divorce is not their fault and that you both love them very much.
Ultimately, do not stay together because of the kids. This is a huge mistake that makes everyone unhappy. I know I stayed i a marriage for 33 years before realizing the truth of what I said here. Since I left I have felt such relief.
2007-10-11 12:00:28 · answer #2 · answered by Cliff R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a marriage reaches a point when one or both are thinking of asking for a divorce it surely isnt going to come as a surprise to the other. Most couples know when their relationship is in trouble. If you are sure about this and have given it much thought then I would advise sitting down with your spouse and being as honest about your feelings as possible. Nobody goes into a marriage thinking they are going to get a divorce and even if it is you wanting it, that doesnt mean it wont be hard and hurtful for you to see it end. My best wishes.
2007-10-11 11:54:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
from the way that is worded, I assume that you have matured and he hasn't. The best thing to do is to try counseling to try to salvage the 17 year marriage and if he refuses to go, that is the time to ask for divorce or otherwise if you go through counseling either it will work out and you will regain the love and happiness you had, or the time will come to ask for that divorce then so that once you decide the divorce is the answer, neither of you will look back at some future time and wonder if it could have worked out.
2007-10-11 11:55:26 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you've reached the point of contemplating Divorce..Anytime is the right time to spit it out..Remember this decision involves the both of you as well as the children and if you are already miserable...Time aint gonna make it any better get out of there...Life is too short and all wounds do heal..Thank God for that...
2007-10-11 12:02:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i've done it twice and i can't think of anything harder to do. is there ever a right time? its when you have had enough and when you get the courage up. be prepared for a hard time. the other person might beg and promise anything to have another chance. it will truely be one of the hardest things you ever do, unless they want one too. good luck and i hope you find happiness
2007-10-11 12:13:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that person can handle rejection just tell them,but you may not need to take my advise because I'm in the same boat.my husband and I have been together for 11yrs and he does not handle rejection well.
2007-10-11 11:56:35 · answer #7 · answered by antoqonette 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any way you slice it -- its gonna be hard and its gonna hurt both of you and your kids. Better to just get it on the table -- you might be surprised by response. Good luck.
2007-10-11 11:57:18 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh... I don't think the time is ever "right" for this.
If I was your partner, I would prefer you came out and told me this sooner rather than later.
2007-10-11 11:52:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋