Remember I asked this?
''a guy really likes me and he talks to me a lot but doesnt hug/kiss me or anything. He likes talking to me everyday. He tells me things he doesnt tell anyone else.
But he is very flirty and confident around other girls.
He told me himself that he is VERY shy.
Please shed some light on this. Im confused. We are both 24.''
Well I told him!
and his reponse was ''thats very flattering. I thought you just saw me as a guy you speak to in the evening. im kinda innocent in that way - i dont look for people to bother about me''.
But then we carried on talking - but not about US.
What does this mean? *sigh* I made a move - now what?!
2007-10-11 11:26:07 · 17 answers · asked by Autumn 2012 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Could it be a fear of failure? It could happen to me, but then again, we're all different.
But if you were more overt, what would be the consequences? Either he'll be happy, because you're together, or he'll run..since he didn't want that kind of relationship in the first place. Either way, you'll know
2007-10-11 17:49:20 · answer #1 · answered by Its not me Its u 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oooh, you got the "flattering" response. Both men and woman use that line when they are not interested in a romantic relationship. Instead of declaring that he sees you as a friend he flips the situation and declares, yet again, his innocence. He knows just what he is doing but forgot that you might have feelings too. If he wants to date you he would have told you he was glad you brought it up and then proceeded to talk about getting together... unless he is clueless. You did your part now you have to decide if a friendship is enough. I'm sorry. Be strong and don't let this get you down. Maybe he's just player.
2007-10-11 18:34:35 · answer #2 · answered by Lizbiz 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can only talk about men in the sense that I grew up with brothers,male cousins and relatives so I am coming from that perspective.
Men relate with women so differently from each other so it is hard to get them to all behave in one certain way. You have to do some research. DId he have sisters? grew up with lots of girls in the family? Is he close to his mother? pals with girls/ladies at work?
Contrary to what you may read from the magazines or see in the movies, most of them are pretty normal. They are not shy, not walking weirdos "seething with hormones". They may act like that when the mood suits them with the girl they like.
My guess- he misses the platonic friendship with girls. You may have struck him as resembling a favorite sister, etc. and he sees you this way.
Back off with the expectations for now. He likes you so thats a good start. Usually, the best relationships start as friends.
If things dont work out, you can still return to that.
2007-10-11 18:43:26 · answer #3 · answered by QuiteNewHere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not let yourself think that he is "flirty and confident" around other girls but "shy" when around you. It has more to do with the substance of the conversations than with how you perceive his behavior. During lighthearted conversation of a non-serious nature, anyone can appear flirty and confident. When your guy talks to you, the conversation is meaningful and serious and words have to be chosen with greater care. However, if your guy has a hard time talking about your relationship together, I would say that he is a bit afraid of committment. Go somewhere quiet, the two of you, and have a serious conversation; get him to feel comfortable communicating his feelings.
2007-10-11 18:38:36 · answer #4 · answered by Alan S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
often times a good relationship starts with a great friendship. now he knows that you may be interested in him. but if you talk about the fact that you like him all the time... or that you should date, or whatever... then it takes away from the relationship you already have.
is this making sense?
if something is there, just sit back and let it develop. there is no need to rush things along and force it about by talking it to death and turning it into a soap opera.
don't change your relationship. do a little bit of flirting when you are together. sit back and relax. be patient. wait for it to develop. obviously you have something if you able to sit and talk for hours about anything and everything... just let it be what it is.
2007-10-11 19:15:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not do any mindreading here. This can mean 100 things, depending on what this guy had experienced etc.
If he likes to talk with you about things he does not do with other people there might be just a strong sympathy to you. Who knows. Let him time. Do not expect anything from him and if you like him a lot you might tell him and then you find out.
2007-10-11 18:44:45 · answer #6 · answered by I love you too! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds a little egocentric.
I suspect he is more immature than shy, and will only act on an actual offer as otherwise the only thing he is aware of in potential relationships is himself.
If you are serious you will need to get physical if that's what you want or you may have to wait forever.
2007-10-11 18:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by Ring of Uranus 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please note he said "me" at least twice. Nothing about "you". He sounds very self centered. This fish doens't sound like a good catch. You are doing all the work and not getting anything in return. Time to fish a different steam. Look for one who isn't so self centered but rather really cares about what you think and your opinions...even if he may disagree. You want someone who will respect you, not expect you to bow to his demands or worse "read his mind."
2007-10-11 18:32:29 · answer #8 · answered by fluffernut 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
From a guys point of view. Keep it up. He just doesn't know what to do.
I wish u the best
2007-10-11 18:36:50 · answer #9 · answered by astronusa 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some people need time, do you have the time for him?
2007-10-12 02:32:04 · answer #10 · answered by inthedark 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋