Cause and effect?

Question

If it is within the rights of one spouse to choose to not to want to have sex should it be within the rights of the other to not to share their disposable income?

Note that disposable income is surplus income that is beyond paying the bills.

Cause: No Sex
Effect: Frustration which results into No Money

If sex or money were witheld for a day no one would notice. What I'm talking about is an extended period of time. Anything less would be petty and stupid.

Interesting that witholding sex can be JUSTIFIED, but witholding money is CHILDISH.

The time and effort to earn the money doesn't equate at all. The idea "If there is money it must be shared" seems kind of greedy.

Cause and Effect can be direct or indirect. An action that sets in play a series of actions is also Cause and Effect.

Actually I help both my children with their homework daily and am a good cook, I clean, and do laundry. I just do it MY way and to MY standards.

Before I close out the question, I just want to say that I placed no gender on my question. I am very surprised on how sexist were when replying to it. All of you who responded in like should be ashamed of yourselves.

Answer 1

i suppose when your marriage has gone this way, anything is acceptable.

Answer 2

No, you want to punish her because she feels like she doesn't want to have intercourse with you, on the other hand if she is saying this alot.
You have to think about why every time I ask for some she's saying no.
Cause and effect is something different nothing like that your making the effect its different, cause and effect is like throwing a ball in the air the effect is the ball coming back down.
If she's sharing her disposable income with you, you should do the same.

Ask her why she doesn't want to, and if the answer isn't undue then, you can hold back when she wants it. But that will make it tit for tat and you both will start to hate each other.
You both want to remain happy so be patience and make sure you both have a 50/50 agreement or its just going to be more trouble in the long run.

Answer 3

Tricky question.
I suppose it would depend largely on why one spouse chose to withhold sex. If it was just for spite, then I suppose a bit more spite added to the situation might be just what the situation needs - NOT.
But what if it was because the denying spouse was feeling, unloved, unappreciated, ignored, not sexy, unwell, or just so bad about themselves, and then you added the "Your not getting any of my (disposable) money" to that situation. Gee, I would think the divorce courts would be the next step.

Do you KNOW why you are being denied? Have you done or said something that would lead to the withdrawal of affection? Is your partner well? What is happening in their life that might have lead to this? Do YOU care why they are feeling that way? Are you affectionate, loving and caring, outside of the bedroom? Do they have your time and attention? Are you willing to take the consequences of playing the "It's my money" card? Have you talked this out with your partner?
Do you believe that the sharing of your disposable income is payment for sex?
There's a lot to think about before taking that sort of "tit for tat" action.

Answer 4

Quickest way to divorce court for you and you'll be paying out a lot more then , then ya are now.

She's not your own home brand style of hooker you know , and if thats how you view her then just divorce her , if she is with holding sex , you obviously did something or didnt do something , or forgot to do something that she's asked or what ever.If you want a hooker go hire 1 , but dont refer to a wife as a hooker in the sense that if she withholds she gets no cash.

Either way while with holding sex may be childish in a man's eye's , so is not helping out with the kid's after work , and not being supportive emotionally and physically.And with holding excess money ? thats not childish , its just pure stupidity.

Answer 5

What you're talking about is petty and stupid. If you're not getting as much sex as you want, talk to your spouse. Get counseling--communicate!!! Don't waste time with kindergarden games. If you're already at this point, then it doesn't sound like a good marriage anyway.

If you withhold money for sex, don't be surprised if she's getting both somewhere else.

Answer 6

Marriage is a partnership and if you want a well oiled relationship that's going to hum along smoothly, then cut the crap. When you say your spouse chooses not to have sex, is that all the time or an occasional event where she doesn't feel like it??.
If your going to use this surplus income as a means or way of punishing her for not giving you sex, then there's not much hope of your marriage surviving.

Answer 7

Sounds to me as if you have put a price on sex. So lets just say that you didn't mow the lawn when you were supposed to, do YOU think it would be OK if the other spouse to withhold disposable income from the other?

Answer 8

Yep absolutely. SOME women seem to equate sex with their husbands with him spending money on her for gifts and her personal bills. When the husband stops, they clam up and stop making love. In those cases, the marriage is nothing more than a hooker / customer relationship.

There are other marriages that are not like that in the slightest. If you wife is dead tired after working all day, coming home and doing all the household stuff, helping the kids with homework, come on dude, give her a break!

Usually, slanging quotient usually goes up when the wife feels wanted, rested and ready.

Answer 9

I suppose it is the "right" of either spouse to behave in such ways....if you want to play tit for tat....

I also agree with Kitty...there is no cause and effect here....this is just plain " I am not getting my way...so you are not getting yours"

Whatever.....lame example for a cause and effect...

Answer 10

I don't see a cause and effect relationship here... Perhaps you could take a Logic 101 class.

Answer 11

Maybe "she" is have sex "her way" like you clean... to her standards and how she want to :-)