What kinds of phrases just crack you up?

Question

I love phrases like "cow patties", "don't give a horse's patoody", "let's rock him to sleep with a real rock", "older than sand ", "deep dodo", "cat yak", "advertisement for dead".... Hubby just likes the good old basic "Horse Sh--"!
Got any new ones????????

Oh God I love the "2x4 Therapy" and unfortunately some people I could use it on! :O))))

Answer 1

My son says "she's as lost as an easter egg"!

In "The Green Mile" with Tom Hanks someone said "It looks like his cheese has done slid off his cracker"!

The good' ole boys yes to a question is "Does a bullfrog jump"?

Answer 2

When people talk about intelligence, they'll say " his elevator doesn't go to the top floor" or " their lights are on but there's no one home", or " he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer" and finally " if you put his brain on the edge of a razorblade, it'd look like a BB rolling down an 8 lane highway.

Answer 3

Recent list that made me smile:

Flag and move on, Must have been enrolled in Paris and Nicole academy, More fun than bubble wrap, He's a Jeeves in a Google world, Verbally bi (2 faced)...I've always liked, "lets run this up the flag pole and see if anyone salutes it."

Answer 4

When dealing with a difficult counseling client we used to say we had to use "2X4 therapy" (ie had to hit 'em up side of the head with a 2X4 to get 'em to change)...hum...maybe you just had to be there....other phrases, "don't get you shorts in a knot...panties in a wad...or knickers in a twist...."

Answer 5

He/she is about as useful as t*ts on a boar..I don't give a rats patootie..my mother used to say, If a bean is a bean, what is a pea, {Pee}..a relief..when someone says ..well, answer 3 of them make a river, or too deep for your shallow mind. Don't go to bed mad, one of you might wake up dead..don't sweat the small stuff.

Answer 6

Boy, I brought you into this world and I can take you out.
your a -- is grass
I'm not a dirty old man, I'm a sexy senior citizen
I like older women - they won't swell, they won't tell and they are grateful as hell.
you're full of BS PHD ( piled higher and deeper )
yippie i aye cow Pattie

Answer 7

'Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades'
'If you can't run with the big dogs, you better stay on the porch'
'If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen'
'If you don't stop cryin', I'm going to hit you again'

BTW- For us 'cow paddies' are also a treat I make for my hubby, they are chocolate no bake cookies .

Edit: I about forgot my favorite: KISS
'Keep It Simple Stupid'

Answer 8

I heard, "older than dirt, up s**t creek without a paddle, (I've heard once you have black, you never go back......worked for my cousin)...lay down with dogs, wake up with fleas, Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?, they way you make your bed, is the way you wake up..., close, but no cigar....the only thing close is love & hand-granades.....I'll probably think of more also.

Answer 9

My old now deceased Irish grandmother used to say 'Rabbit shyt" all the time...used to crack me up...plus she'd say things like "Don't trust people with no chin or folk with eyes too close together!"

My favorite phrase is: "I don't give a rat's A-$$

One that absolutely abhor that the younger set uses is "Whatever" - I find it SO dismissive!

Answer 10

"you make a better door than a window"
" the lights are on, but nobody is home"
" the elevator doesn't go to the top floor"
" if you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about"
"he doesn't have both oars in the water"
"keep quiet, I can't hear myself think"