I work full time and we have an almost 3 year old. So it is hard to do anything else. Sometimes laundry that is done will stay in baskets needing to be put away for over a week. And dishes will stay in the sink for 4 days! I have asked him to help out but he never does!!! And I just cannot do EVERYTHING alone!!
2007-10-11 10:22:47 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The try just doing you and your child's laundry, make dinner for just you and the child, clean areas only for you and the child. You get the idea.
2007-10-11 10:26:45 · answer #1 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Everybody wants something. What does he want that you're not providing? The best thing to do is to ask him why he doesn't help around the house. Find out the real reason. Is he now and was he always just lazy? Does he feel that he does his share and you aren't paying any attention to what he does for you? Ask him what it will take for him to help out.
Make a list of all of the things that need to get done on a regular basis. Make sure you add to the list the things that he does around the house that you may not be thinking about. Go through the list and divide the items up as fair as possible. Maybe you will find yourself painting the house or fixing the plumbing.
Allow him to be the owner of the items on his new list. Come up with rewards. Tell him what you will reward him with if he completes his items, and tell him what you want to be rewarded with (a day out alone) if your list gets done and his doesn't. Make it a contest. Men just love to be competative.
We all get into a rut. Sometimes it takes a little creativity (which is hard to come by with a 3 year old) to get out of it.
Just understand that you may not be the only one in the rut.
G.
2007-10-11 10:57:55 · answer #2 · answered by Itdontworkthatway 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
When I lived alone, I was a responsible grownup and I did all my own chores.
Just because I am now living with someone else doesn't mean I no longer do all my own housework.
You cook, clean, do laundry, dust, do bathrooms, then you give him sex every time he wants it? Are you crazy? Men like him are immature little babies who are used to their mommy taking care of them.
Don't nag or make speeches. But the next time he wants some tail, just tell him, "I only make love to grownup men who clean up after themselves, clean their own toilets, do the laundry, fill and empty the dishwasher, and drop the remote to hop off the couch and do whatever goddamned thing needs doing when I am taking care of the baby. Start doing all that and you'll be having sex again before you know it."
Then don't give in. He'll beg and pout. Good! Stop enabling him. Lack of sex is the only thing guys like that understand.
2007-10-11 11:04:36 · answer #3 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are right but if he won;t help then you are alone I am a mother of 4 kids and I wash clean and do everything in the house. I even cook dinner every night prioitize everything like you do at work. And one more thing if that just makes everything harder then do this was you close your kids close. Buy paper plate for ur husband only and don't buy food for him don't give it to him either and I garentee in a week or so he will asking for things to do. O and let me know you need help.
2007-10-11 10:39:29 · answer #4 · answered by Lost 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well my husband didn't want to help either my theory is the following:
If you don't work and your husband supports you and pays for all the bills then you shouldn't ask for any help in the house, i mean if you don't work you have the whole day to do chores and clean up your house!
Now if both work then, you have to divide the house responsabilities maybe you clean the kitchen while he is doing laundry.
In my case we both work and my husband didn't want to help so i told him " the day you take me off work and the day you start supporting me 100%, then that day i will stop asking for your help" do that! it works...
2007-10-11 10:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just do what you can do. Quit picking up after him and quit asking him to do things around the house. At the same time, if he needs something washed (a dish perhaps?) and he asks you, tell him you don't have time and that he will have to do it himself (but be cheerful about it) because you haven't gotten around to that yet. After a while.. he will start helping out.
2007-10-11 10:29:04 · answer #6 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So you both work full time outside the home, but only you work full time at home? That does not add up to equal responsibilities. You need to have a serious discussion with him about sharing the workload. He benefits from clean laundry, a clean home and food in the fridge, so he should be sharing that workload. If he cares for you, he shouldn't want to watch you struggling doing work that is his responsibility too.
2007-10-11 10:27:01 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Julius is right. Surprise him with some mind-BLOWING sex not once but for a month. Give it to him when he doesn't expect it and where he doesn't expect and how he doesn't expect it. This will show him you love him (that's how guys think) and if he's true to form he'll show you his love by doing what you want aka helping out around the house. If he doesn't, at least you got some great practice in for Mr. Right when you do find him.
2007-10-11 11:09:50 · answer #8 · answered by truthseeker 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Make passionate love to him! Seduce him shamelessly tonight. Take a long hot bubble bath, shave real close--you know where, then slip into a short sheer nightie and nothing else except his favorite perfume and high heels. Fulfill ALL his sexual fantasies.
He'll be doing the dishes before you even wake up in the morning!
2007-10-11 10:45:59 · answer #9 · answered by Julius4U 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Look you are not going to like this answer but it is the Truth.You cannot get a man to do the house work.It is not in our nature.He will probably go out and chop down a tree before he will help you to do the dusting.Give up.Hire someone to help do the house work and tell him to get a part time job to pay for it.Don't waste your time trying to get a man to do woman's work.
We are unqualified and uninterested.
2007-10-11 11:13:36 · answer #10 · answered by Julius C 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
don't listen to filthy crumb...withholding sex is childish. i say you can catch more flies with honey than poop!!! withholding sex is just going to add more strain and resentment to the relationship...besides, normal, healthy women want sex just as much as men! try being as sweet as possible and whispering in his ear before you leave in the morning that if he does the chores you asked of him, you have an extra special surprise for him later on.
withholding sex is juvenile...are we still children on the play ground ???
julius 4u knows what he's talking about!!!
2007-10-11 16:10:27 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋