I'm a single person in his mid-thirties and was never married nor will I ever get married (just don't tell me you haven't found the right person yet" ). I'm happy as a single person - I date and have healthy relationships with ladies, with whom when I enter a relationship I tell them I have no intentions of getting married, no matter how big the love is - so it's a mutual consensus.
First of all, my family and some friends keep saying "stop wasting you life" and get married once and for all. The other thing I hear from my parents: you should have kids before you turn 40 and we want to be grandparents.
I tell my friends and family that my happiness is defined by me and only by me, and in that defined happiness I include a lifelong non-matrimonal life and no children.
So my question is: Why do people get married? To make themselves happy or just to follow society's trend of getting married since the majority of human beings get married one time or another.
2007-10-11 09:46:35 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You get married for love and companionship. Children are optional.
It's your life, if you never want to get married that is your choice and no one elses.
2007-10-11 09:50:21 · answer #1 · answered by Aundrea 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think it might be "all of the above" and more. I can only speak for myself, and my reason for seeking a long-term relationship is simply that I *enjoy* being in a long-term relationship. Don't get me wrong - I had fun when I was single; but I always knew this was not how I wanted to spend "the rest of my life". Over the long-term, I prefer the stability of having a partner. And once I've made this determination, marriage was only a tool to make things easier for us as a couple living in a society.
P.S. If you do something that is uncommon, you will always hear people say "you should do X, Y or Z". As you aptly noticed, most people get married and have kids - so those who don't, stand out like a sore thumb, and are bound to get chewed out for it at one point or another. I don't want to have kids, and I know it's a thorn in my mom's side, as she believes that having children is the only path to fulfillment. And yes, I feel resentment sometimes because she seems to be pushing me to be something other than what I am; I feel like "why is the way I am not good enough? Why do I always have to chase that *something else* in order to make me whole?" It's just a par for the course I guess.
2007-10-11 16:57:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People get married for different reasons. Some: Because they feel they have to - some one got pregnant, or pressure from friends (they don't want to be the "odd" one in a group where everyone is married) and family - just like you said.
Others get married because they love the person, want to show they are committed to that person, and want to spend the rest of their life with that person. Unfortunately, a lot of the time this is the case with people who don't actually think past the actual wedding, so they are with this person, and the next thing you know - bam: Divorce.
I am in my mid-thirties (almost) and have never been married. I think I would like to be married, but I am not going to rush into anything - I get the pressure from my mother like you from your parents, and all of my friends (except for one) are married (most are on their second marriages) with kids. I'd rather not ever be divorced, so if I am 50 when I get married, so be it.
2007-10-11 16:57:38 · answer #3 · answered by IJToomer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not everyone should get married. it's good that you know it in advance. you can avoid potential divorce that way.
I got married because I wanted a family life with the man I love and I assume he did so for the same reasons. We are there for each other and will be on into our older years. I meant it when I said for life and he did too. A marriage license did not make my love stronger and not having one would not make it weaker, but I wanted one to fully solidify my commitment to him and to unify our two lives into one, as a couple. It does not mean we don't have individual interests at all. But our marriage is the home where our love lives.
It's not for everyone.
2007-10-11 16:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people(myself included) enjoy the commitment of marriage, others don't. I'm sure there are people out there that get married for other reasons as well, such as security, pressure to get married, or they feel it's the right thing to do but in the end it's just a personal choice.
2007-10-11 16:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by paula t. 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I enjoyed many aspects of marriage, having someone there with me, someone special who you can tell anything too, someone to do the heavy lifting and changing of the light bulbs...lol, someone to cook for, someone to clean for, some one to wake up next too if I have a bad dream. I didn't enjoy when those things became a chore instead of a mutual respect and love. I also enjoy many aspects of being single. Marriage can be a wonderful thing if its too the right person. Scientifically, as humans we are pack animals. Like dogs we like to be in groups or packs. Makes for a stronger unit in some cases.
There is no right or wrong to this question. Only what is right or wrong for you.
2007-10-11 16:56:33 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Asking why people marry is no different than asking why people stay single, or why they date but never marry...it's a personal preference.
Besides the "love" issue and feeling that showing one another committment comes with marriage, there are various legal issues to consider. If your gf was incapacitated you couldn't make decisions for her (surgery, pull the plug, etc) as her bf but you could as her spouse...you cannot share insurance benefits as non-married, inheritance isn't automatic if you aren't married, retirement pensions, death benefits, etc.
If the above mean nothing to a person, then no need to marry...one can be crazy in love and share their life with someone without saying "I do".
2007-10-11 16:56:24 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We got married because we couldn't stand being apart from each other. It sealed the deal, so to say. We have been married for 23 years and counting. We are different obviously, because we still are passionate about spending time together. The thing, I think, that makes it work for us, is that we are more than married, we are best friends, benefits with friends (lol, backwards but the principle remains). Being together (for us) makes life bearable. I know this sounds corny, but hey, it works for us.
2007-10-11 17:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by f1mudvayne29 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question, and I think it is a combination of a lot of things, conformity, like you said, could be one reason. Also, people like to have the feeling that someone is theirs and only theirs, peer pressure, there could be an endless list of reasons. Hold your ground, its your life, not your friends or your families.
2007-10-11 16:57:57 · answer #9 · answered by Roho390 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
woooo, If you don't want to get married thats your decision, but It sounds to me like your a very selfish person who doesn't have God in your life!
ppl get married because they want to grow old with each other & dont want to be with anyone else. they usually put the other persons needs b4 their own (you dont fit in that catagory). Also it is very important to God to marry & start a family, not to live in sin or to commit adultry.
I cannot judge you because I am a christian. It is your decision to make not mine
Good luck and God bless you
2007-10-11 18:30:05 · answer #10 · answered by debbiedeb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋