We've been living commonlaw since 2000 and I want to get married. He's 57 and I'm 44, we're not kids and nor do we want any as we have three from previous marriages. We've discussed marriage and he's against it. Only thing is I'm worried about my future as his Will hasn't been changed and in the eyes of the law we are married. Am I responsible for his debts? Everything in his will went to his ex-wife who is deceased and in the event of her death to her son. What are my rights? Would you tell him how you are feeling?
2007-10-11 09:43:15 · 7 answers · asked by Proud Canadian 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You need to talk to him and you need to see an attorney. Here's the problem in a nutshell: common law marriages are recognized differently from state-to-state. The number of years cohabitating that are required in order to be considered a common law marriage also varies and can be up to ten years in some areas. Some states may not recognize common law marriages at all. You won't know until you speak to an attorney.
The other issue is that his will actually leaves everything to his ex-wife's son since she is deceased. If the will is not specific to property then anything you own jointly with this man may be considered part of that son's inheritance.
You have a reason to be concerned about your future as does any couple who are living together out of wedlock. Depending on state law, you may not have a leg to stand on should this man die.
2007-10-11 09:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't take this as my being judgmental - that's not my intention...My point is, if you have lived with this man for the last 7 years, pretty much full well knowing he doesn't want to marry you, you kinda dug yourself a hole there. I am not sure what the law is in your case, but if he has a legal and valid will which clearly spells out who his estate goes to, you'd have a tough time proving he didn't intend that. Contesting a will is costly. I do not believe you'd be responsible for his debts, unless they were amassed jointly. However, I'd consult an attorney to clearly define what your rights/responsibilities are. I would tell him how I feel but wouldn't expect to get very far, since he's apparently made it clear to you he is happy with things the way they are. If you are that concerned about your future, do what you can to cover yourself and not worry about him, even if you choose to stay with him. Good luck to you!
2007-10-11 17:20:07 · answer #2 · answered by Empress1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you do have certain rights as common law husband and wife but its not just what its all about in the end. Marriage offers that little extra security and tells the world that you had enough regard for each other to make this total commitment. In the event of another discussion where you must make it clear to your partner why you want to marry, take note of his reasons for being against it and then smash the objections with reasoned arguement! It sounds like this isn't a particularly happy subject for you to have with him but if you wait for the right moment and have that discussion then I think you will win out in the end. Once you have killed all of his reasons, leave the subject alone and see if he comes around with time to think. Good luck.
2007-10-11 16:55:55 · answer #3 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused - you say you "want to get married", and then you state that "in the eyes of the law you are married". Which is it? If you are legally married, I believe you can be held responsible for the debts made during the time you've been married. If this is something you are concerned about, by all means talk to him about it, and suggest to see an attorney to make sure things are taken care of properly.
2007-10-11 16:49:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should tell him how you feel, unless you want things to just stay the same. Tell him you are fully committed to him and want the same level of involvement from him. If he is not prepared to give that, then you may lose him. It's a risk.
Good luck to you.
2007-10-11 16:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by martinmagini 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let him know you would appreciate it if he would change the will so that you are not responsible for his debts. if he wants the rest of his money to go to his kids that's his right.
2007-10-11 16:56:55 · answer #6 · answered by paula t. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES. Even if you don't get married, he needs to change his will including you in it, even if only leaving you enough to cover any expenses he has left behind.
2007-10-11 16:47:44 · answer #7 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋