I've been with my boyfriend for about 8 months. I found out he cheated on me after only 1 month he said he will never do it again but heres the the thing his dad cheated on his mom with her own sister and even got her pregnant!! So he's a uncle-daddy!! His mom cheated on his dad to get back at him and i found his brother has cheated on his wife with her own cousin!! He has one more brother who cheated on his girlfriend with his now Wife!! I'm having hard time trusting that he won't cheat again. Does the cheating run in the family? I asked him if we ever got married would he tell me and he said "NO" because he loves me and he wouldn't throw our marriage away for a fling (he also said he would never do that to me) Please help i need advice! Do you think it's my problem or do you think i have a reason to be worried?
2007-10-11 09:11:18 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not one of them has confessed!! They all got caught.
2007-10-11 09:35:40 · update #1
I think you have a reason to be worried. He has not had very good role models. You have only been with him for 8 months, so really do not know him very well. The fact that he cheated during the first month you were "together" could be forgotten and forgiven because the relationship was new and probably not exclusive. I suppose you can only trust, but I personally would find this emotionally exhausting if I was worried all of the time and really not worth it. Good Luck!
2007-10-11 09:23:34 · answer #1 · answered by LoraC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say it runs in the family sort of. Not genetically but he's obviously been raised in an enviroment where cheating is either accepted or a means to cause pain to someone. Which means he probably can't express his feelings very well, especially if he's upset about something. Either way, I'd get out. This sounds like a giant mess waiting to happen. This is probably not an enviroment you want to be in. Worse: What if you get married? Is this how you want your children to behave.
Run,don't walk, sweetheart. This will only invite heartache and problems.
2007-10-11 16:18:14 · answer #2 · answered by tnk3181979 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think his whole family has some real moral issues going on. They all seem to think that cheating on your spouse or significant other is ok. And he has been raised in this situation & has already after only 1 month cheated on you....I mean come on 1 month, that is only 4 weeks into your relationship. I personally would not trust him again. His whole family thinks that it is ok to be unfaithful.
Girl run & run fast, find yourself a real man who will love you & only you, be faithful & true to you. And beleave me there are a lot of those type of men out there, go look & find that perfect man....
2007-10-11 16:19:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe you have a reason to be worried. I think the cheating runs in the family. Whatever your boyfriend saw happen in his family, he's now following in the same steps and direction. I wouldn't trust someone who cheated on me and who comes from a cheating family. Find someone else who won't cheat on you.
2007-10-11 16:17:50 · answer #4 · answered by **Mystica** 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
ok, first off i don't think that scientists out there have a gene that is linked to cheating spouses; however psychiatrists have found that in clinical studies of families it is not the genes but the behaviors that we are exposed to and learn early on that make a difference. Simply put: monkey see, monkey do. with virtually no reprimindation and no good examples set early on in life by his parents it has been a behavior that may be bad but it is tolerated. if you put up with it now you will put up with it forever, behavioral patterns never change and these seem to transcend the family generations!
2007-10-11 16:34:24 · answer #5 · answered by princessandie1984 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think as difficult as this situation is, for you to get a handle on, I can understand your feelings about this guy and what is going on with his family, it seems that that is the only way his family knows how to resolve their problems, and if your boyfriend is seeing all of this going on in his family and they all think it is ok, and you do not, then yes, if I was you I would be worried.
The thing you have to do here is ask yourself this: "do I really want to be in a relationship with this guy, whose whole family is cheating on eachother with everyone but the dog"?? Or do I want to be in a loving, trusting, relationship with communication and no immature ways of dealing with trust and love??
2007-10-11 16:25:25 · answer #6 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he grew up in a family where cheating existed, so he's not as sensitive to it, meaning, he has the ability to do it moreso. he's learned it from his family. if you love this guy, tell him right now, that he's had his one screw up and he's already on his second chance. if he blows it, you are going to leave and you won't have to think twice about it. and if he does cheat, tell yourself right now that you realize you are taking a risk by staying with him. you can't be surprised or too hurt if he does cheat again because you have to be aware of what you are getting yourself into. but also be prepared to stand up for your self worth and integrity by leaving if he screws up EVER EVER EVER again. good luck
2007-10-11 16:24:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
RUN! Obviously cheating is the norm in that family, along with lying to cover-up the truth. You can find someone a lot better!
2007-10-11 16:27:51 · answer #8 · answered by Teresa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cheating boils down to morals and beliefs. Unfortunately, your boyfriend has been shown a lot of BAD examples of how to handle a relationship. Does this mean you can't trust him? NO! Does it mean you need to be wary? YES!
I would keep a watchful eye and if you decide to stay with him, you should definately consider pre-marital counseling before taking the plunge.
2007-10-11 16:15:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
As my grandpa used to tell me, the Apple does not fall far from the tree. This is not about the tendency to cheat, but an entire attitude that has been given to him as an example to follow his whole life.
I think cheating once, then telling you that he would not tell you if it happened again "to protect your love for him" is the clearest indication you can get.
In other words, yes, you have a reason to worry.
2007-10-11 16:16:39 · answer #10 · answered by wizard8100@sbcglobal.net 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋