Women only-- When you go on a first date, who do you think should pay?

Question

Include the reason you feel that way.

Please don't forget to include the justification to why you feel he should pay, if that's the case.

So, if a girlfriend calls you up and suggests going to the movies, do you guys expect her to pick up the bill then also? If no, what's the difference.

Tera: I do the same with my friends, but we know and care for each other. How many first dates have we all gone out to, only to find out there is no chance for a second date?

Answer 1

I would only let a guy pay for me if he was a close friend and I didn't have any money. (This happened one day last month when the debit machine at the cafeteria was being repaired, and I had no cash.) If it's on a date, I pay for my meal 100% of the time, with absolutely NO exceptions. I don't believe that I should be paid for when I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself.

Here's a tip for women who want to go Dutch: To alleviate any argument, ask the server upon ordering to charge the meals to two separate bills.

Answer 2

It really depends. Lots of times, the person who does the inviting should at least offer to pay, because it was their invitation (whether it is the girl or guy). Some people believe the man should pay for everything, but why should that be? We live in a day where women are not arm candy or posessions, so as long as you don't want to be an accessory to your man, you should financially contribute equally to the relationship. Sometimes if a guy asks me out, I will let him pay and then afterwards make a point to say thank you and that "next time it's on me." The only time I feel comfortable letting someone I'm in a relationship with shoulder more than 50 percent of the financial burden is if they make significantly more money than me and have more expensive tastes in where they want to go and what they want to do.

Answer 3

On a first date, whoever asked the other person out should expect to pay for the date. Why? Because you don't know the other person's financial situation. If he/she can't afford to pay, that person isn't necessarily going to want to discuss that unfortunate circumstance with you before they even know you- it would be highly embarrassing, don't you think? As you get to know each other better, then it is proper (in my opinion) to discuss finances and share expenditures. It's just that on the first or second date, it's not a comfortable subject to discuss, esp. if someone really is having a difficult time making ends meet. If the person who wants to ask the other for a date is having financial difficulties, perhaps he/she could think of an activity that might not cost much (or anything)...there are plenty of things to do that don't cost anything.

EDIT: And yes, my friends and I often take turns footing the bill for a night out, depending on who's got the "most money" and who has little, at the time. It 's really no big deal to us, and it works out pretty evenly. Good friends don't really "keep score" either..(we know each other's financial situations)... we just help each other out when we can. We enjoy each other's company so it's worth it!

Answer 4

Splitting the bill always seemed tacky to me, whoever asked for the date pays.

It should mostly fluctuate back and forth after that, although I've noticed that men seem to like paying in resturaunts and sometimes look uncomfortable when the woman pays.

I actually try to buy concert tickets or something for the dates that I initiate so there is no "who will pick up the check" issue.

Answer 5

whoever does the asking unless it's otherwise specified. I learned the hard way that when I invite or suggest to always include the fact that I pay, and I've had guys squirm their way by outright refusing to let me pay or staking claim on the bill but giving me the tip. Once I resorted to slamming the money down before the guy could get his money out because every time I offered and suggested I pay he just wouldn't let me.

The otherwise specified would be going Dutch. I also always bring enough to pay my own way on dates and make sure to order what I'd be willing to pay for myself, even when the guy is the one that did the asking.

Answer 6

I think the bill should be split. The first date is about getting to know the person, so no one should have to worry about paying for the other. After dating for a while, it would be nice for the boy to pick up the check to show that he really cares about the girl. (If only my last boyfriend would have done that. He was kind of cheap.)

Answer 7

If I ask - I pay.

If he asks I feel he should pay.

It just seems fair.

Two thumbs down? i swear someone is trigget happy. Or unhappy!

EDIT - Why do I feel this way? Because it is fair. I have male friends that I hang out with, and if I say "Come and have a drink with me", I expect to either pay or split the bill but we work that out while we're out.
It's really not a question of gender to me as it is if I want to see that person.
If me and a girlfriend go out, I will buy a few rounds, and vice versa. Sometimes I will pick up the entire tab.
If a group of people go out, I would think each would pay for their own cover fees, etc.
It just really depends on how it works out.
Why do I feel this way? Because I think it's the right thing to do. Sorry if that is vague, but it just seems fair.

Answer 8

On a first date I usually split the bill, if we date more, than sometimes he/she can pay, sometimes I'll pay.
It's generous when a man or woman offers to pay for me, I appreciate it and may even accept (if I think they are doing so out of generosity), but sometimes, some people think that because they pay, they're going to be recieving "something else" in return, so I'm a bit sketchy and careful to not fall into that sort of uncomfortable position (no pun intended).

Answer 9

I think that it should be handled one of two ways:

1. Whoever initiated the date pays.

2. They split it.


There's something very wrong with a girl asking out a guy and then expecting him to pay...also, once the two have actually started a relationship, then they should split most of the time, or alternate (I pay today, you pay tomorrow).

I don't like the idea that guys have to pay all the time. It makes me uncomfortable and makes me feel like I "owe" them. Plus I have money too.

Answer 10

Honestly, if he asks, he should pay, and if I ask, we should both pay.

I don't say this because I am looking for a free meal / drink. It is because, honestly, if I pay for everything, I think the guy would feel a little 'less' like a man.
It actually sucks for me, as a girl, bc I have a pretty high income, so its no sweat to pay for a meal, but it leaves me feeling 'obligated' to them, or at least feeling like the only thing I can do is cook dinner for them.
I don't know. Money sucks.