I love my boyfriend we've been together for 1 year and a half. We've been having some arguements lately and its hard for us to both control our tempers. Our last argument ended in him slapping me on the face, it wasnt a hard slap, it was more like a light tap. I'm scared its going to get worse because abuse escalates. Its starts with a light slap, than a punch, than kicking and choking. He says he wouldnt do it again but i'm smart enough to know that just because he promises doesnt mean he wont do it again. He's a really good guy, and i know he loves me, its just that sometimes we both lose our tempers. I have to admit i've slapped him too before because he's said some really mean thngs to me in the past. Right now we are on a break, i told him that the only way we could get back together is if we both go to couples counseling. Clearly we both have a problems, i'm not blaming it all on him, i know i have my faults too. Do you think couples counseling will work?
2007-10-11 07:35:54 · 15 answers · asked by Lady B 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He agreed to couples counseling and is willing to make things work, he said he wants to get help because he knows that he has a bad temper sometimes and so do I. We both have a lot of talking to do if we want to make this work.
2007-10-11 10:56:46 · update #1
It's worth trying...but only if you're both fully committed to making changes in order to better yourselves and your relationship. But please....don't go back to him if he refuses to go through counseling or try to change. You deserve better than someone who takes his frustrations out on you.
2007-10-11 07:39:07 · answer #1 · answered by CountryGirl 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think anger management will do more for you. If you both have a temper problem you relationship is a bust. In a relationship it is not about who wins the argument, but it is about how you both resolve the issues at hard. You have to start working together and not against each other. Anyways marriage counseling will only work if you both are willing to make it work i.e. manage you tempers. But then these counseling are temporary solution. The Permanent solution is within yourselves.
2007-10-11 07:58:08 · answer #2 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couples counseling can only help you understand each other a little better. You both have to be committed to making the situation better and working on the issues. If you really love each other and are both willing to do the work then yes it would probably help you tremendously.
2007-10-11 07:40:47 · answer #3 · answered by jojo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems I always end up asking this same question...How old are you both? We all get into arguements, its only human, but when you mention that he slaps you, and calls you names, that is not a healthy relationship! Do your parents know that he has slapped you, that you've slapped him too? I guess I am not feeling the love here to be honest.
And the hitting, it will get worse! End this relationship for both of your sake. This does not need to be aired on Dr Phil!
Good Luck to you both!
2007-10-11 07:54:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honestly counseling only works if you stick to it... but there is NO EXCUSE under any circumstances to hit each other... I read somewhere that this is just destined to escalate and fail and get worse... till someone really gets hurt...
I am very sorry... but I am just looking out for you... I was married for 20 years till my divorce and we never laid a hand on each other... she just decided she wanted a child(28) for a new BF so maybe a mid life crisis who knows but other than that it was a good marriage.. GL to you..
2007-10-11 07:45:13 · answer #5 · answered by denunz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are both willing to do some hard work it might help you. One thing's for sure: if you don't try, things probably won't get better. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders. I wish you happiness in the future.
2007-10-11 07:39:36 · answer #6 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
drop it if you can't get along after a 1year your relatioship has no chance. councelling only help when the people are together for years and want to make it work. you have been with him for a year and he smacked you.....how long before he does it again, and dont' make excuses for him "it wasn't hard" your on your way to being an abused wife, stop now before you get in too far
2007-10-11 07:41:05 · answer #7 · answered by dutch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both want the relationship and both are committed to getting into a good therapist. The violence usually escalates to worse and more frequent episodes.
2007-10-11 08:11:35 · answer #8 · answered by silvergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It only works if you both are going so you can try to fix things and want a better relationship together. It won't work if one of you is only going becasue the other wants them too. Goodluck.
2007-10-11 07:44:14 · answer #9 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might,if you are both willing to try to make the relationship work.My advice is to go to individual counseling to deal with your own demons first.If you feel comfortable being in a relationship after counseling,try dating again.
2007-10-11 07:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by jezebel_lilly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋