Not Married, and possibly pregnant to the love of my life....help!!??

Question

My b/f and I have been 2gether for only a month but been in love with eachother for 10 yrs. He is my best friend in the whole world and loves me VERY much. He's the greatest guy in the world to me. But there is just one problem. His divorce is over and mines not yet.....my husband is having trouble filing (LONG STORY WHY I CAN'T FILE), anyway we feel there is a very good chance I'm pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I WOULD LOVE to be pregnant with his kid, except...I didn't want it to turn out this way. I wanted to at least be married to him FIRST then have kids b/c I'd feel like we were getting married b/c WE HAD a kid, I don't feel like I could ever marry him if I am pregnant. He suggested the morning after pill but I'm not sure if I really want to take it or not. He wants kids with me so badly and I know he'll never leave I'm just really scared about everything, thats all. Like I said he's the love of my life but we aren't married, and didn't plan to for a few yrs due bad past exp. HELP

Answer 1

My son was unplanned. We weren't yet married, i just started a new job, we lived in a small apartment.... I just moved 300 miles from home...

He is the BEST baby ever! I swear, he is so good and so cute. I tell my hubby that our son is proof that we were meant to be because he is such a great kid. I can't imagine my life with out my little man. He's going to be one year old in 6 days! And I have loved every second of his life, even the stinky, messy, cranky moments. And watching his personality develop has been such a treat!

Last night, he was so funny. I have a toy crate in the living room. He was sitting in front of it, pulling out one toy at a time and throwing it over his shoulder. It was like he was looking for something and saying "nope, not this one.... or this one... not this one either.... hmmmm..." When he was done, he had a huge mess behind him.

I enjoyed watching him use all of these skills that he has learned in his first year of life... sitting up, grasping things, digging through the box...

Then he stood up with the toy he finally chose and walked over to me. He held out the toy in front of me and spoke his baby words "mama. blible la la gah!" I think he was trying to share with me. After a few seconds, he took it back, walked over to his dad, and did pretty much the same thing.

I can't imagine life without him in it. He's the absolute best. Because he's mine. And he comes from love. And lives in a house that is full of love.

Wouldn't you like to have the same thing? You could.....

Answer 2

Morning after pill wont work later than the morning after. Take a pregnancy test to make sure you are really pregnant. Hopefully this wont cause too much of a problem with your ex and getting your divorce but at this point its a little late to worry about that. Just settle in with your honey and enjoy each other. People have babies every day without being married. Just to be sure though, check to see what the legal implications of this will be. Your ex wont want to get stuck with child support at the time of the divorce for a child that isnt his.

Answer 3

I found out I was pregnant and not married and it bothered me too, for a little while. Then I realized that this man was the person that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with (I already knew, just had to remember, which is hard when you are worried), and it made things easier. If you both want the child, you can get married later. Sometimes life throws you some curve balls, as I am sure that you know. Take some time to think about it all. Since you just found out, that is.

Answer 4

"Possibly" got a married girl pregnant? I don't think so. This is what you said in another of your questions. "She was with him on June 29th without protection and somewhere in there he went inside of her.(which i didnt do.)" If he was inside her, and you weren't, there is a 95% chance (or higher) that he is the father, not you! And are you aware that depending on the state they were married in, the husband is the legal father of any child born within the marriage. In other words, you could be the biological father but because you slept with a married woman (which you knew), the legal father is her husband and never will be you. So if he is most likely the father and not you, why would you want to tell the husband anything? Or is it a case of you being unhappy she is pregnant, want to be the daddy, and are willing to destroy her marriage to achieve your goal? What will happen if you go to the husband, demand that dna test (which even if you can convince a court to order it won't happen until after the baby is born and that will be in England), and the baby is proven to be HIS? You will have destroyed a marriage for nothing! He husband will hate you, the wife (your ex) will hate you, the marriage will be destroyed, and that child will grow up without two parents! And that child, whether or not it is your biological child, will hate you too! Is that what you want? Further, you wrote, "I do not want to be with her, but i want what is best for the baby. which i believe would be with it being with its biological father if possible." So you want the child to be raised with its biological father and not the mother? The mother of the child is married and the court isn't going to take away her baby and give it to you raise, especially since she is married to another man. And if she goes to England with her husband in September (you can't stop that from happening), you aren't ever going to see the child, whether or not it is your's. If you truly want what is best for the baby, you will let that child grow up in the marriage with two parents. Destroying your ex's marriage will not help that baby. Try to remember that the best interest of that baby is to be raised in a marriage with two loving parents, not one angry single father, especially since the child is most likely NOT yours! Let her and the baby go. Whether or not the child is biologically your's, the child belongs to his mother and the man she is married to. This is the child's best interest. Destroying the parent's marriage is not! And if you are feeling guilty, then learn a lesson from this and never again sleep with a woman you are not married to (especially a married one), and if you do, use a CONDOM! Good luck!

Answer 5

I would wait it out... Whose to say that you are pregnant anyway? DOn't stress over it.... If you are pregnant and want to be married, just not now... then don't. You can get married later on and just knowing that the child was brought into the world into a loving home should be enough... Now it's not uncommon to be with someone for years, have kids, and not be married.... I wouldn't fret over it... but maybe it will help your ex let go and finalize the divorce! Best of luck!

Answer 6

First thing you should do is try to relax. Don't get stressed out. If you have missed your period, take a test. If you are, I think that you should keep the baby. You were given a precious gift from God for a reason. You may feel like you can't marry him after having a baby with him but you really shouldn't. It sounds like you two really love each other. It will all work out for you. Good luck.

Answer 7

Look at what your saying! You want a baby with this man and there might be one on the way! Please dont try and get rid of the baby because you werent careful! Its not the babys fault! He is your love child! You claim to love your partner very much and im sure you guys will be just fine! You will have your own family! Just roll with the punches and get ready for mother hood! You dont have to marry him. You can have your baby and see how things go. If you truly love eachother then star making marriage arrangements! You shouldnt care what people say about you and getting married because of the baby bla bla... ignore them! But dont hurt that baby. He has the right to live and it would be horrible of you to get rid of it like it was just a piece of trash =( Take care of yourself and good luck

Answer 8

Things don't always happen the way we would have liked them to turn out, or how we'd "planned" it to happen.

But your fear shouldn't be stronger than your love of this man and this potential child. Sure, the timing is horrible, but is bad timing enough to throw it away and consider either abortion or not marrying the guy? I don't get it. You love him, you would love to be pregnant by him, but you'd let a little thing called timing ruin your happiness.

Have the baby, love it, raise it together, and the paperwork of divorces and marriages will sort itself out. A stable loving family for this child is more important than whether or not you're married on paper.

Good luck.

Answer 9

You should have waited until your divorce was final and you were married to the new guy to have sex. You didn't want to be in this situation, but now you are. You just have to deal with the consequences and make the best of your situation. If you really love the new guy and were planning to marry anyway, does it really make sense to abort his baby. The morning after pill should only be used in rape cases in my opinion. You willingly slept with this guy. Now you both have to take responsibility for your actions.

Answer 10

You can't plan life. If you guys are really in love and are serious about spending the rest of your lives together, then by all means have the kid and enjoy it! Don't dwell on your plan or what was supposed to happen when. Instead focus your positive energy on the new and exciting arrival. And also...until you confirm you are pregnant, there's no point or use in stressing about it.