I have had a bad past with relationships meaning I always fall for men that are nice at first then turn out to be controlling and male pigs after a while and now that I am with someone that doesnt act like that and always tells me that he is all about me, why can I not believe him when he is telling me that when he sees other women that he is not thinking nothing about them like she is hot, and such.. he just sees them and thats it.. what can i do to relax and trust him.. I really need some help.. thank you..
2007-10-11 06:38:56 · 15 answers · asked by Please help... 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ur scared of being hurt completely understandable... All u can do is try to put all the bad things behind u and trust this guy not to do u wrong... There's really no advice some1 can give u its a feeling u have and only u can control ur feelings... Maybe if u discuss it w/ him he can ease ur mind
Good luck
2007-10-11 06:44:19 · answer #1 · answered by NONAME 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not judge him by the men that faied you in the past. He is his own person and should be accepted as that. If you have explained to him about the disrespect that other men have displayed toward you ...he should care enough not to do anything that would upset you. There are men out there that just appreciate a nice looking woman but it doesn't mean that all men will act on it. Untill he does something to make you feel differently about him ...trust and believe in him. He may just be on the up and up and you don't want your past to affect your relationship with him. Communicate with him and find out were his moral values are and what he believes in this will tell you alot about his character.
2007-10-11 06:52:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been hurt, but don't let that ruin a chance for a good thing, Hon. The truth is, ANY time we allow ourselves to love, we take a chance of getting hurt, but so does the other person. For example, you know YOU'RE telling the truth too, but how does HE know that? You have to find a place where you can hide in yourself, KNOWING that if you DO get hurt again, you'll survive.
You won't die. If you go through life always worried about getting hurt, you will pass over love, having thrown away the VERY thing you wanted. Find a counselor, a pastor, or someone you trust to help you through this, but DO something! Life is about taking chances. That's just how it is. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, but loving and getting hurt or left is better than never having loved at all! This is your problem, and it won't matter how "good" the guy is, until YOU feel whole inside. It's just like riding a bicycle, Hon. You fall down, scratch your knees up, bleed, but you DON'T die. You get on the bike and attempt again and again, scared to death of injuring yourself, but knowing eventually you WILL get it, and you WILL ride! Good luck.
2007-10-11 06:46:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the two are confusing to do. a million)telling the actuality may well be recognised as very noble, yet no longer an excellent style of folk can manage this so particularly they % to lie and finally end up in far worse issues than in the event that they desperate to tell the actuality. of direction, it is to no longer say that Telling the actuality wont' get in you in hardship the two. Its particularly confusing to tell with the aid of fact even once you tell the actuality you may get purely as undesirable as punishment. there is not any longer set volume on how plenty lies or truths you are able to say and in court docket which would be a real difficulty. 2)Believing it: maximum persons won't have self belief you even once you're displaying actual info (photographs, products, etc). they might desire to work out for themselves. and then they might even think of that info became compromised or fabricated.
2017-01-03 11:17:50 · answer #4 · answered by tetreau 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi.
i have had bad experiences with men, because i have been gullible and believed everything they said.. then i found myself in a situation similar to what you're experiencing now.
do yourself a favor -- don't move in with the guy, or make any committment until you've known him for a year or even two years. there is no rush, and TIME will tell what he is all about, and what is true or not.
as far as him seeing other women and thinking things about them -- they are only thoughts, nothing more. it's not like he's going to get up and rush over and start making out with them. ALL MEN look, and those who don't, are dead.
2007-10-11 06:45:04 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if he does think another woman is hot, why are upset about that? I'm sure there are guys you think are nice looking and then move on past that.
You need to realize that even though he may find another woman attractive, it doesn't mean he's going to leave you for her. You may want to work on your self-esteem. It's not easy, but you have to convince yourself that there's more to your relationship than the way you look.
2007-10-11 07:20:46 · answer #6 · answered by trysh_mc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having trust issues with someone who is seemingly a good guy, the answer is simple, you are not ready to date again. Sometimes, you need to heal yourself before you can be a good mate to someone else. Would you want a pizza if it was half eaten? No, then why would you deliver only a slice( the defensive, intimidated slice) to a guy who may possibly be the one for you? Good luck with your decision, but being alone is great sometimes, love yourself the way you want someone else to love you:)
2007-10-11 06:48:53 · answer #7 · answered by arisanai84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand, that it will take time and lots of opportunities of reassurances from a loving patient husband. (I'm assuming your're married. If not, it will take much longer)
While you can't avoid past trauma of insecurity, you can learn how to allow your emotions to slowly give way to your spouse's loving reassurance.
Unfortunately, if you're not married, it will be very hard to find security in another relationship until marraige. There are exceptions to the rule, but in general, it works like that.
The other thing, is that your parnter will be very instrumental in helping you break out of the cycle of mistrust. :)
2007-10-11 06:48:45 · answer #8 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time. time is the only thing that will change it. I ruined two relationships based on my fear that they would be the same as the others. My husband is the one who stuck around to prove it to me. The one for you is the one who will stick. Kinda like the sperm that has the stamina to make it all the way to the egg. Many will fall off and die but only one will have what it takes.
2007-10-11 06:44:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust him if you haven't caught him in a lie. Now if you have caught him in a lie then i suggest not to believe his crap.
I'm not saying to break up with him because I've caught my man in more then one lie and I'm still with his lieing ***.
Good luck!
Its hard to have relationship with someone you cant trust.
2007-10-11 07:38:10 · answer #10 · answered by irishpr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋