We have been together for a year and I found out I had two teens a few months ago. I have been lying telling her I'm going to come and visit her and never showing up for about a month. I never called and let her know I wasn't coming and I never answered the phone when she called because my kids don't want me talking to her. She wanted to meet the kids but the kids didn't want to meet her. She says she is hurt I kept breaking promises to come see her and I need to learn to balance my time or I will never have a girlfriend. I never came to see her because the kids never wanted to go back home when I picked them up and I always stood my girlfriend up to make them happy. I think she is selfish and thinks so stupid because she says her feelings are hurt that I stand her up and don't call her. She won't talk to me now. Is she wrong or am I wrong?
2007-10-11 06:28:42 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Sorry man, but gotta semi-agree with the girls on this one. Imagine if u reversed roles. She doesn't call you, answer your calls, or even let u know if there's any future in the relationship. Are you gonna stick around and wait? As you yourself said, she's already been very understanding about the kids, how much more do u want her to take? Yes, she is in a sense selfish because she wants to move on with her life but in this case her "selfishness" is completely JUSTIFIED.
Firstly, be a man. Since when do your kids tell you what to do?
Secondly, you don't spend 24 hours with your kids. You can't find some alone time to secretly make the calls?
My suggestion is break up with her now. If you truely cared for her, you wouldn't have given her up so easily.
2007-10-11 21:05:44 · answer #1 · answered by Charliemoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong. How can you expect to keep a girlfriend if you go a month without seeing or talking to her. Your kids are teens, they probably want boyfriends and girlfriends of their own so you should stop coddling them. It is difficult to handle those situations but it is never right to just lie and stand someone up. She seemed like she was willing to talk things over with you and you should have been more understanding of her feelings too.
2007-10-11 06:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by Ashley S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to sound cruel, but I think you are in the wrong here, and need to really look at how you are treating the people in your life that you say you care about. I think its good that you are taking your children's feelings into consideration, but that doesn't give you any right to disrespect your girlfriend. Its rude to stand people up, to make plans/promises and not follow through and to ignore someones calls, especially if this is someone you supposedly care about and that cares for you. You may tell her something you think she wants to hear to make her happy, but you are doing more harm than good by lying to her.
Unfortunately you cannot have it both ways. I don't think your girlfriend is being selfish- she is not asking you to give up your family for her, but you may be being selfish trying to have it all with no regard for the feelings of others. You need to be honest with yourself what you really want. Then be honest with your family/kids- tell them you love them and respect your opinion, but you have other relationships that are important to you as well, and you need their support too. Then, if you want to try to have a girlfriend you have to be HONEST with her about the situation- no more lying and broken promises!! Respect the time and love they are trying to give you. If a woman is willing to deal with the situation with your kids, you need to take your responsibility too.
best of luck!
2007-10-11 06:46:55 · answer #3 · answered by indigostarr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not expecting this as a best answer. But she wants to date a MAN not a guy whose life is controlled by ..... kids or do or see him if there kids allows them to do the things he does. Kids doesn't have the ability to write your agenda but they can manipulate..... weak adults ..... that can do something about their weaknes and tell the kids who is the one that puts the rules. You may want to do something now before they get older or they will kick you out to the street or charge you a high price for rent.
2007-10-12 08:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by livingthe30s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are wrong on this one. In her point of view, you don't even have the decency to call her and let her know you have other plans. Now, kids are important. However, they are teenagers. You deserve to see who you want to see and they should learn that you have every right to see her. They don't need every minute of your attention anymore.
2007-10-11 06:40:23 · answer #5 · answered by Megan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes she is wrong. she is selfish. she left you and there's nothing you can do. only you can hope that someday she will regret being an idiot and that you will have already moved on.
It's tough to get someone you love even if they are a really terrible person. It sounds like this is the case this time.
2007-10-12 17:54:01 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Celebrity Hotline♥ (Thumbs up!) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are wrong my firend to let your teen kids run you. that is sad so they will also pick who you remarry also i bet? she should never speak to you again if shes smart.
2007-10-13 15:07:04 · answer #7 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋