Call the police and they will take you to a domestic abuse shelter. There they will proved you with housing, shelter, clothing, food, and a new job to start your life over. If you can't call from home, walk to the nearest pay phone.
Please don't ever go back, break the chain of domestic violence
2007-10-11 06:09:20
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answer #3
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answered by Cheryl 6
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Hi i no a alot of woman who have been abused even some of my famliy members. the best things to do is 1. call the cops cause thier are some good cops but the others are just pigs 2.call a family member that will take you in like a sister, brother,your mom, your dad,etc.. 3. if i was you i'd go learn some self defense so i can kick his @$$ if he lays his hands on me.
~Nazshonnii~
Abuse and Domestic Violence
What is abuse?
Abuse is one person trying to control another by using fear, violence, or bullying. Physical abuse includes:
throwing things at you
pushing or shoving
hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, or punching you
attacking you with a knife, gun, or cord
grabbing you so hard that it leaves red marks or bruises on your body.
Abuse is not just physical. It may also be mental, emotional, or sexual. Mental and emotional abuse includes:
swearing or threatening to hit you
insulting you, making fun of you, or calling you names
forcing you to do shameful or humiliating acts
threatening to hurt your children, a baby-sitter, or someone else if you don't do what they want
hurting or destroying valued property or pets
throwing away your medicine
forcing you to have sex in order to get money for groceries or clothes
trying to control what you do.
Sexual abuse includes:
forcing you to have sex when you don't want to
biting you on the breasts or in the genital area
making you do sexual acts with other people or animals.
How does abuse occur?
Abuse can happen to anyone. It happens to women and to men. It happens to all social classes, and to people who speak all languages. It happens regardless of sexual orientation or religion. Poverty and substance abuse increase the risk. Abuse often follows a pattern that has 3 phases.
First phase: In this phase the abuser gets edgy and tense. Almost any subject, such as housework or money, may cause tension to build up. Verbal abuse, insults, and criticism increase. Shoving begins.
Second phase: The tension mounts. You may argue or defend yourself. The abuser responds by hitting or kicking you, often saying that it is to teach you a lesson. The abuser may drink heavily.
Third phase: The abuser apologizes and promises to change. The abuser may be so charming that you believe that the violence will not happen again. You may think that the danger has passed and the relationship can be saved.
Usually the abuse will to continue and get worse. The longer you stay in an abusive relationship, the greater your risk of being badly hurt.
Abuse during pregnancy and child abuse
Abuse often starts or gets worse during pregnancy. This puts both the woman and the unborn baby at risk.
People who abuse a spouse are also likely to threaten or abuse their children. Children who are abused can have many problems. They may have stomach aches, headaches, diarrhea, or problems with bed-wetting and sleeping. Often they have trouble in school and don't trust others.
Children may think that violence is the way to deal with problems. Abused children are more likely to get into an abusive relationship when they grow up. Protecting a child from abuse is one reason to leave a relationship.
How can I take care of myself?
Ask yourself if your relationship is safe. Arguments are normal in a relationship. However, physical violence is never okay. No one has the right to hurt someone else. Does your spouse or lover ever:
Scare you with threats of violence by throwing things when angry?
Hit you, then tell you it's your fault?
Promise the violence won't occur again, but it does?
If you answer "yes" to any of these questions, you are in an abusive relationship. You could be risking your own health and that of your children.
Admit you are abused. You have the right to feel safe, especially in your own home. Talk with a health care provider, counselor, friend, or family member about what is happening. Find someone you can call if you need to leave a dangerous situation.
Many people who have been abused get mood disorders, such as depression, anxiety, or posttraumatic stress disorder. Getting help for these disorders can help you to deal with an unhealthy relationship.
Learn the warning signs. Learn to tell when violent behavior might happen before it does. Warning signs often include:
telling you not to see certain friends or family members, keeping you away from school or work, or making you stay home when you want to go out
putting you down by name-calling or constant criticism
violent threats toward children, other family members, or pets
threatening to use a weapon, such as a gun or knife.
Plan an emergency exit. Know where to go in your community for help, such as:
police department
crisis hotlines
rape crisis centers
domestic violence programs
legal aid services
hospital emergency rooms
shelters for abused adults and children
mental health centers.
If you feel you or your children are in danger from your partner, take action. Pack a suitcase to store with a friend or neighbor that includes a change of clothing for you and your children and an extra set of keys to the house and car.
You may be able to take the children with you, but you should talk with a lawyer first.
Keep the following items in an easy-to-find but safe place, so you can take them with you on short notice:
medicines for you or your children
IDs such as birth certificates, Social Security cards, and driver's license
extra cash, your checkbook, savings account book, and credit cards
medical and financial records, such as mortgage or rent receipts and the title to the car
a toy or book for each child.
Know exactly where you will go and how to get there at any time of day. Explain to the person helping you that you may have to show up suddenly in case of an emergency.
In an emergency, call the police or 911. If no police officer or other official responds right away, keep calling. During an attack, leave the house. Report the attack to the police as soon as possible.
Call your health care provider or go to the emergency room if you are hurt. Give health care providers complete information about how you were injured. Ask for a copy of the medical record. Charges may be filed.
Make changes. Do not confuse guilt with love. You and your children should never be beaten. You will need to think about the long-term situation. No matter what choices you make, counseling can be very helpful. Counseling can help you to look at yourself more positively. It can also help you as you begin to make changes in your life.
If you and your partner want to have a healthy relationship, there are many options. Individual or group counseling can help victims of abuse. The abuser must get treatment before you try getting back together. Your partner must admit to losing control and learn new ways of dealing with conflict. Then you can feel safe in the relationship again. Couples counseling is not a good idea at first.
You may decide to leave your partner for good. If you are married to the abuser, it is important to get a lawyer who deals with abuse cases. If you are concerned that you can't afford a lawyer, call a legal aid service in your community.
Where can I call or write for help?
Many states have toll-free, 24-hour domestic violence hotlines. Look in your local telephone book to find one in your area. The number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) is 800-799-7233. You can also visit the NDVH Web site: http://www.ndvh.org.
For nonemergencies, the National Council on Safe Families provides counseling and referrals to domestic violence services anywhere in the US. Information is available 24 hours a day through My Sister's Place, Yonkers, NY, at 914-969-5800.
Stop Abuse for Everyone (SAFE) provides information and resources by location and by groups served (such as abused men, same sex abuse, abuse of people with disabilities).
Stop Abuse for Everyone
PO Box 951
Tualatin, OR 97062
Phone: 503-407-4674
Web site: http://www.safe4all.org/resource-list/
The National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence provides referral help and information on child, spouse, and elder abuse:
National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence
1155 Connecticut Ave., NW
Suite 400
Washington, DC 20036
Phone: 202-429-6695
Web site: http://www.nccafv.org
The Alliance for Children and Families provides counseling referrals to agencies nationwide.
Alliance for Children and Families
11700 West Lake Park Drive
Milwaukee, WI 53224
Phone: 800-221-2681
Web site: http://www.alliance1.org
2007-10-11 06:15:29
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answer #7
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answered by arizona 2
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