after a divorce, the person wants to marry again? Isn't a one-time bad thing enough to last a lifetime? Why subject yourself to that possibility again?
Wouldn't peace of mind be better? Being alone doesn't always mean being lonely!
Can I get some opinions on this please!
2007-10-11 04:55:12 · 11 answers · asked by sugarbee 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This puzzles me also. Especially when I observe persons with multiple bad marriages. Maybe they can see where they made mistakes in the first marriage and are convinced that they can correct them in a second. Or perhaps they sincerely believe that it was due to their making a bad choice the first time around and that they are making a good choice this time. In any case I would think that after the second time it would dawn on them that perhaps marriage is not for them and there is no shame in that.
2007-10-15 02:47:11 · answer #1 · answered by babydoll 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think people jump into marriage because they are scared to be alone, lonely, afraid they can't make it financially and a number of other reasons. After a divorce, I think people need to reflect on their lives and take a good look at how THEY contributed to the demise of the marriage. It's never one person's fault. It takes 2 to make a marriage and 2 to break it also. I was divorced 19 years ago. I haven't married again because the men I have invested my time in since weren't marriage material. I lived with 3 different guys over the 19 years long term and once they thought the "had me" somehow they didn't have to treat me with respect anymore. I don't like being taken advantage of so I am a believer in living together to see how it will be a few years down the road. I may or may not marry again but I do know for sure that it will be a decision made with a clear head....not one clouded by revenge of divorce....Some people remarry right away to "show the ex" they that they missed out....stupid reason but it happens.
2007-10-11 05:14:23 · answer #2 · answered by str8talker 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After my divorce I never wanted to get married again. I met someone else that I was in a long term relationship with that did change my mind though. I think you're right about peace of mind. If someone is happy with themselves and has peace of mind then they would be happy. Marriage isn't a bad thing. If you have 2 people that both really want to be happy and are willing to work on it together,,it can be a great thing. Don't let past heartaches and hurt from others keep you from enjoying your life and the things that can make it more fulfilling.
2007-10-11 05:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by The Wižard 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 7 years and after the divorce I said I would NEVER do that again. It's been 14 years and sure Ive had some boyfriends during that time but I had no desire to get married. Your right that being alone doesnt mean that your lonely.
Im living with someone now and it looks like we may going down that road in the future but its good the way it is now.
Good luck to you.
2007-10-11 05:29:12 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage isn't the problem, the people involved in the marriage are the problem. Most messy marriages will have a messy divorce.
You are right though about people hopping from a bad marriage and a divorce into a marriage right away. Not always the best thing to do and yes, being alone doesn't mean lonely.
Maybe we wouldn't have serial brides and grooms if people were just willing to cool their jets and spend a little time alone getting to know themselves better.
2007-10-11 05:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by Martin R 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you up to a point. I personally will not marry again. I've done it twice. Both divorces were very bad. It wasn't the marriage I had problems with, it is the ending of a marriage. I can't see any reason to ever invite the government back into my life to tell me who I have to pay and for how long. The marriages had to end things just were not good. But you add the divorce process on top of already hard feelings and it goes from bad to worse so fast you're throwing up from the nausea of your head spinning.
2007-10-11 04:58:26 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not about the bad times, it's about the "good times".
Divorce, as bad as it is, should not be an ending. It should be taken as an opportunity to learn and re-establish a relationship that will last a lifetime.
You living life are subject to anything: death, heartache, loneliness, anxiety, etc. Will you become a hermet, and have no friends because the "possibility" is present that you'll "lose" a friend?
Will you not get a pet because that pet can die?
The real question here is for you: Will you allow hurt and heartache to hold you captive to your past, and take away the "possibility" of a loving, powerful future?
Let go of the past, and grab a hold of a future!
2007-10-11 05:01:00 · answer #7 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Different people feel differently. Just because one marriage went bad, doesn't mean future ones will...to follow your point, if a dating relationship breaks up, then why date again? If you get in a car wreck, why drive again?
Some people don't marry again...some wait a long time, and others jump back in rather quickly because they like marriage (just not their previous partner as a spouse).
2007-10-11 04:59:18 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
just bc there was one bad realthionship dosent mean there would be another
sometimes things arent just ment to be and the first time if you get divorced it prolly had its reasons and it wasnt ment for the two of you
i think being single is okay to but there are so many special things you can share when your in a realtionship
but yeah thats what i think
2007-10-11 05:08:02 · answer #9 · answered by missheavenly. 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I married the first times for the wrong reason and I learned from my mistakes.
And just because it didn't work out the first time does not mean it won't work out this time. Though I have said that if it doesn't work this time that's it.
2007-10-11 07:55:50 · answer #10 · answered by Spring 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋