i recently met this young lady of 19 and i am 29. her mother seems to like me. we went out on 3 dates and they all seemed to go really well. on the last date she told me that she was bipolar and had low self esteem especially about her looks. i told her that if she was ugly that i wouldn't have stopped my car in the first place when i met her and reassured her of how beautiful she was. when we parted she said, "will i see you tomorrow?" i said "yes". but when i called her mom said she was sick. the next day i brought her chocolates an some medicine and just showed up with it to drop it off and left. hours later she calls and says that we're not working out because i am not her type. she said she wantsomeone who is compassionate and good with kids, but i also played with her little brothers while i was there. she also said i am concieted and a "pretty boy" and she hasn't dated pretty play boys. but she said we can still hang out as freinds? but in the past, she was the 1 who kisst me!
2007-10-11 04:33:39 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Get real. Move on#
2007-10-11 04:53:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say it was one of three things:
1) Depression
2) Not feeling worthy or good enough
3) She is either feeling scared about the relationship, or she is not satisfied with some part of the relationship.
If it is depression, then all you can do is be a loving support for her and her family. I have 4 family members who have struggled with this, and they, though they have had hard times, and have seen everything as insufficient, not worth their time, or too good for them, have ALWAYS needed a shoulder to cry on, or lean on depending on the situation. While you should always strive to do that no matter what your relationship, it seems that she might need some extra attention in this area.
If it is an inferiority complex, where she feels that you are either too good for her, or she is not good enough, then she has some priorities on her own that she needs to look after.
What you could do in this situation is to say "I love you for who you are." Show her that you appreciate her gifts, and her beauty.
Get her to go out with you "One more time" If you're not her type, then you will bow out gracefully. If she knows that you respect her enough to show her that courtesy, she will probably reconsider.
And lastly, if she's feeling scared, or unhappy with the relationship, you can do two things. One, treat her kindly and with as much respect and graciousness as possible, not lureing her into situations that might cause her to get uncomfortable. The way she said "Concieted" and "Pretty Boy" might mean she had a past few boyfriends who were not caring, and took advantage of her, or someone in her family.
So be careful on that note. But if she is just unhappy with the relationship, again say "Once more date. If it doesn't work out, I will bow out gracefully" On that date, sort out what it is she does not like, and see if you might find a way to deal with that.
If you are serious, you will find a way.
But I think there is a bit more at play here than "Being hard to get." Talk to her family, and her, and see what you can do.
That is the best thing anyone could do.
2007-10-11 11:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since she is bipolar she is gana have mood changes quite often.My sister has it and one week she is really down on life the next week she is just full of life and the week after she is lecturing me and acting like a therapist and trying to solve problems that I dont even have.Its hard for me to predict what she is gana be like that day and I have learned how to deal with it, I know that she cant help it, she usually has mood changes when her meds arent working that good for her.Are you sure you want to continue to be friends with her, If you do you should do some research on the symptoms of bipolar so you can understand more about what life is like for her.
2007-10-11 11:49:17 · answer #3 · answered by LILAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i dontknow her or anything but from MY experience:
i told my bf all my faulghts to push him away at first too because i have a trust issue because it has been broken alot.
and the compassionate thing-i want a man who has some great talent or some great love for something (compassion). that turns a girl on and w/o it, turns u off,
so pick up a new sport or something and slowly earn her trust? unless she just doesnt like u i dunno
2007-10-11 11:38:55 · answer #4 · answered by Mel ♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep on moving brother. Not worth it. She sounds a little coo-coo.
It is too early in the "relationship" to be having games and drama.
2007-10-11 11:36:46 · answer #5 · answered by OC Boarder 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no she isnt playing hart to get. and hell yeah she must be bipoloar. in my opinion shes more trouble than what she's worth. but if you really like her and you want to go through all that trouble to be with her. then go ahead. even tho she wants you one minute and the next she doesnt. you got to think about how she is gonna act in the future too.
2007-10-11 11:38:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nah I don't think she's playin hard to get she just want to have a Lil fun for now. Time will tell if she develops feeling for you I say just be cool with her and what ever happen happens...do not put your feeling into it.
2007-10-11 11:42:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is bipolar...then ummm she may have medical/mental problems, eh??? You may just want to move on and find someone that is not trying to push you away!!
2007-10-11 11:37:47 · answer #8 · answered by pepper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she sounds as though she doesn't understand you explain your feeling to her not over the internet! if you really want another chance talk to her!! x
2007-10-11 11:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by kymmathy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2007-10-11 11:45:52 · answer #10 · answered by lalangmagawa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋