Why doesn't my ex husband just leave me alone?

Question

I am in the middle of a divorce and my husband is going around slandering my name to everyone that will listen. He tells them i have left him for another man and have had an affair. I have not..i divorced him becuase he is a terrible man! He can't face that and is making out he is the poor soul..i don't mind as i know the truth as do my friends but he is hurting my 25 year old son. What can i do?

Answer 1

Ur hubbys hurt cuz u left him and this is his way of dealing w/ it... Just ignore it thats all u can do u know its not true so don't let it upset u and same goes for ur son he's old enough to know the truth makes sure he does and let it go...
Good luck

Answer 2

You can't do anything except be the best person that you are.
He'll say hurtful things because he's hurt. He's probably in disbelief that you would leave him, "how dare you?". He wants to blame you because he can't accept that he was a "terrible man". So, explain to your son that those things aren't true and you're sorry that he has to listen to this. As your son, he probably already knows the truth about you and how his father is. As for everyone else, just hold your head high, be the best person you are... his bitterness and hatred will show through.

Answer 3

This is very childish behaviour on his part, his pride has been hurt and he would rather make you look bad than admit he is not a nice person to be married to. You sound very secure in yourself, and I can see why your concern is with your son. You need to try and speak to your husband and make him realise that the only person he is upsetting and pushing further away is your son, and at 25, your son is old enough to make his own decisions and he will see that his father is a spineless coward. Try and make him see that all his behaviour is doing is harming his relationship with his son and if he does not grow up and realise this, he will not have a son. If he cannot sit and talk to you and be an adult about this, is there someone in the family who can talk to him and make him see what he is doing? Or a close friend of his? Someone has to make him realise and see sense.

Answer 4

Your son is an adult and is probably aware of the problems you had in your marriage. Talk to him alot, but not about your X. Take the high road and let him vent. If he is a terrible man, the truth will come out in time.
The best revenge is success. Think positive and take good care of yourself. Allow yourself time to heal before jumping into a new romance.
Good Luck.

Answer 5

I'm sure your son knows what his dad is like. You just take the high road, and if you are a good person, he, and everyone else that knows you, will know the truth. Don't get into a slandering fight with your ex. When he sees you will not play the game, he will tire of it and stop.

Answer 6

Your ex is aware of how bad he was to you and he is trashing you to make himself feel less guilty. Explain this to your grown son and tell you son that you understand it and that you are not going to be hurt by it. Let you son know that his dad must be suffering from guilt pretty bad to be acting in such a way and that the son should forgive him.

Always try to lessen the burden children feel when their parents are at odds with one another. It is not good to feel like you must choose between them no matter how old you are. Your son may end up talking to his dad and giving him the boost he needs to bring up his self esteem enough to stop him from talking about you.

Your close friends will know the truth about you and you should not care about what anyone else thinks as long as you and your son know the truth.

Good Luck to you.

Answer 7

I feel for you! My ex is acting the same way. I left him because he was an abusive jerk and he not only tells our friends what a great guy he is, he actually calls up my parents and sisters and acts like he's the victim.

Honestly, I think the only thing you can really do is tell him very rationally and clearly why he needs to stop and then avoid contact with him as much as possible. Also, make sure to talk to your son about it, bad-mouthing his dad as little as possible. It's tough to deal with., My kids are very small and I don't know how I will explain to them over the years that they shouldn't act like their dad/that it's not okay how he treats them and me, without bad-mouthing him and upsetting them. Wish I could be more help! Good luck,sweety! Thank goodness you left him....

Answer 8

I have the same problem, my ex husband is exactly the same he left me for another woman so I am in the middle of divorcing him, he rang today giving me loads of abuse on the phone about a whole load of pathetic stuff, he doesn't realise (and I don't want him to know) how much it upsets me and of course my kids see me upset. He slags me off to whoever will listen but anyone who knows me just thinks he's a p**ck! My advice is just to ignore him as much as possible I know it's difficult but like you say he is a terrible man! It will calm down eventually I'm sure (well i hope it does).

Answer 9

you need to listen to J_LO's new song- mile in my shoes- then go out and get a makeover- then clean up the house and get some new clothes and detail your car. some hot new boots at the store and whatever you do, look great. he is the one who is lost and he lost. you need to be better than he is and when he acts up, and women do go through this, believe me...you act simple. just act like you cannot be bothered by any of it. he knows this is hurting you so laugh it off. be calm and swett to people and "say God, i didn't realize we were still in nursery school." be as gracious as Princess Di- godbless and soon he will realize he needs to crawl somwhere. my ex slapped me in public, talked bad and the more he did it, people turned on him. i felt horrible but i took 5 minutes beefore bed to cry and then soon it was over.

Answer 10

It's a good thing you are getting a divorce because your ex husband acts like a little kid