me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years and in those 5 years i really wanted it to work.i do my part and get no response.no kisses,no conversation,no touches,cuddles,no hugs,there are times i wish i was the xbox 360 or his best friend.now i am leaving after 5 years and now all of a sudden he wants to cuddle and hug me and starts conversations and tells me he loves me...im confused.will he start this and stop or what?do i leave ladies?
2007-10-11 04:24:59 · 14 answers · asked by syreatha2004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I can ask the same about women. #
2007-10-11 04:31:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes people don't realize how good they have it until it is gone. I believe people take the people they care about for granted and once they leave, they get scared because their comfort zone is not there anymore. I think that it's up to you if you want to take him back. Maybe it's best to take a break to see if these changes are for real and then decide if you want him back or not because a person can not change overnight. He's either affectionate or he's not. Realize though that he could be doing these changes temporary just to keep you and then go back to what he was doing before (remember the comfort zone). So if you want to be with someone that will give you all that you are looking for, then maybe you should leave. Believe me, you can't make it work by yourself, it takes the both of you. Because if you are doing all the work, then you might as well be by yourself. Never settle for less.
2007-10-11 04:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by bitterly_sweetness 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys are funny creatures.... As long as you keep forgiving him, and accepting his words and small tokens of love, he'll know how to control and manipulate you. Leave, be strong, and give him some time, I'd say six months to a year would be sufficient, to see if he will change his ways, and be true to you. You also have to ask yourself if this is the guy you want to marry and have children with, because usually history repeats itself, and if he's broken little promises before, he's more than likely going to break them again as long as he keeps getting his way. There are plenty of beautiful people in the world, and probably living close to you. And I mean beautiful as in good looking and have a good soul. The more you keep searching for happiness in how you are treated the more unhappy you will become. Saying I love you is very fleeting, but showing love is what is important. The Beatles sang it in a song like this "The love love you make, is equal to the love you take" probably derived from the bible when Jesus said "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." Love unconditionally and unconditional love will come back to you, it doesn't mean that whoever you love unconditionally will love you back just the same. Be strong, you know what you need to do.
2007-10-11 06:24:07 · answer #3 · answered by FearDragons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they are like little boys, as long as they can get away with something and are not expected to be responsible, then they continue to do those things,......BUT once you lay the law down, they realize that's it's either shape up or ship out!
Usually, the change is only temporary, if the person is immature, they are going to continue on the same path regardless.
One thing that I've learned in this life is, "change comes from within" the person has to WANT to change not just for you but for the betterment of himself as well.
I wish you the best.
2007-10-11 04:33:02 · answer #4 · answered by sugarbee 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Girl, only you know what you are gonna do.
We can give you advice but the ball is in your court.
Men are just silly and young like that! You want them to mature but you are not his mother. This is something he has to face up to and do something about. Know that it is an obstruction in your view if he is superficial!
Go and get counseling if he is sincere! If he don't want to meet those terms, believe me, he's up to something else. Just look to be his yo yo!
You remember that old song by Paula Abdul "I'm lookin for a New Love Baby, a New Love. Yea Yea Yea!" Oh well.
2007-10-11 04:57:31 · answer #5 · answered by Dee D 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is doing all of this to make you THINK he has changed...he will go back to his normal ways once he is comfortable that you're not going to leave him again. The reason they do this is because they KNOW they have a good thing and don't want some other man having it. My advice, when you say you're leaving do so, there are men out there who will appreciate you.
2007-10-11 04:50:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the change is in you obviously. once upon a time, you thought you could live with all the things you weren't getting because SOMETHING made it worthwhile to stay.... now that whatever that thing was just isn't enough, you are demanding more from him. you're the one expecting change--and I wouldn't give it to you. so now it sounds like the next guy has to match certain criteria--so you're growing and learning what you REALLY need from a relationship. make sure you don't get involved with the same "type" next time.
2007-10-11 04:46:15 · answer #7 · answered by Kurt H™ FC Steaua Bucureşti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm surprised it took you this long.
Here's a song that I thought of when I read your question.
Shake the Sugar Tree -- Pam Tillis
Love, you're getting lazy
You're forgettin to give me
Sweet sugar words that I wanna hear
You've been neglectin me
You know jealously, it is a bitter as a green spring berry
And just like fruit from a fickle vine
You turn sweet in the nick of time
Love you only come alive when you're losin me
And its a childish game
Ive got to shake you up just to wake you up
To make you love me
I'll shake the sugar tree
Til I feel your love fallin all around me
You've got to tend to what you planted
And if you take my love for granted baby
Ill shake the sugar tree
Another night and youre sleepin
I'm awake and I'm dreamin
Oh honey bout the way that it used to be
And little times gone by
Do you think that I'm content
With the cookin and the payin of rent
No I wanna know if your loves all spent
Ill shake the sugar tree
Til I feel your love fallin all around me
You've got to tend to what you planted
And if you take my love for granted baby
Ill shake the sugar tree
Ive got to raise some commotion
Before you show me some real emotion
*** if you have to do something that drastic to get his attention...then I second Mama24 !!!! RUN ***
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2007-10-11 04:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Girl! 5 yrs is enough struggle for the cause. He will NOT change! He's only doing enough to make you change your mind...for the time being. Aren't you ready to start with someone new and be appreciated and loved? I'm pretty sure you are not the same person you were when you met him 5yrs ago. Think on this...cause believe, this is a classic, they change for a bit and then go back to their ways when they think the smoke has cleared. It is your job to keep yourself happy. Nobody else will....move on.
2007-10-11 04:29:15 · answer #9 · answered by karamell08 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
hey gal...yur guy has to think over his priorities 1st
neway its high time tht yu quit....
cuz its very much possible tht he'll act the same if u let yurself continue...
n its possible tht he's just using yu as an emotional pillar n nothin else...y waste yur time n life now ?
go ahead life's waitin for ya...
loadsa luv n luc
bbye..
take care...
2007-10-15 04:32:18 · answer #10 · answered by rokkmauz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run like the wind, hon.I married someone who never changed, and stayed with him for 20 years...I'm done and am filing for a divorce.It's called emotional abuse...don't fall for the BS that I have...it's all about control.They DON'T change.It's not in them.
Good luck, sweetie.
2007-10-11 04:31:07 · answer #11 · answered by mrs O 6 · 6⤊ 2⤋