My ex-mother-in-law is breaking her own granddaughter's heart by refusing to go to her wedding because I will be there. (I'm her mother) I am shocked over her behavior, I don't like her and she doesn't like me, but I would go anywhere my granddaughter invited me proudly. It wouldn't matter who was there. I would want to be at her wedding. This is causing strain on me, it makes me feel so bad for my daughter. I don't know what to do. My ex-husband refuses to ever speak to me so I can't go that route. I'm afraid he won't show to keep his Mommie happy. This is pathetic.
The ex-mother-in-law is a real witch to do this to my daughter. I never did anything to this devil woman, and her loser son has thrown more fuel onto the fire running and only telling his side of the story. This idiot needs to grow up and figure out how to deal with me on his own. He is 60 years old now!!!I don't know what kind of advise someone can give me, it's a pretty hopeless situation.
2007-10-11 04:19:07 · 25 answers · asked by janelle p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There isn't much you can do.Go to the wedding and have a good time.When your daughter looks back on her special day,she will remember that you were there to support her.
2007-10-11 04:24:53 · answer #1 · answered by jezebel_lilly 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not up to you to solve this problem. The ex MIL holds a grudge, and she's willing to break her granddaughter's heart just to stick it to you. That shows what a low class creep she really is. So why would your daughter want someone like that in her life anyway? I think you need to have a heart to heart with your daughter and explain that some people are just creeps, and perhaps it is best that this particular creep stay away. Tell her to focus on the positive in her life, because dwelling on the negative and living in a fantasy that everyone will someday make nice and be friends will only hold HER BACK.
Good Luck
2007-10-11 06:34:42 · answer #2 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What your jerk off ex husband and his mother need to get through there thick heads is this is not about them or you. It is about your daughter. It is her day. I am sure there will be more then one table at the wedding and you do not have to all sit together. Your daughter needs to tell all that if they can't keep there mouths shut for an 8 hour celebration for her then they should stay home. She dose not need drama at her wedding.
I will say this, you gave birth to her, you are the mother do not feel guilty and bow out.
My mother passed away before I got married. Even though my father was there I still cried my eyes out as I missed my mother. I can honestly say I feel for your daughter as my in laws pulled this cra* (mother in law did not want to go cause her ex husband was going)
Best wishes to the bride and groom.
2007-10-11 07:13:27 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly this is YOUR daughter so you have more of a right to be there on her wedding than the ex-mother in-law. Having said that the issues that have been mentioned in your question should be put aside, this is your daughters wedding this is about her and not the rest of the family, if someone doe not want to attend then its their loss, not hers, she only needs people there that have her best interests at heart, and are happy for her sake.
You don't need people to ruin on one of the most important days of your life.
2007-10-11 04:38:46 · answer #4 · answered by oberon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you're all a lot better off without this kind of vibes on what should be a great day for your daughter. Very sad situation. Let it be... All you can do, is be the best you can for your daughter.
The family photographs from wedding now days are very extended... it's really funny to see all the parents and grandparents with the new spouses in tow.... long lines on both sides! Trying to figure out who is who is such a mess!
2007-10-11 04:38:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, id let them hang themselves with ur daughter.. its not your fault they wont come if they want to act like immature idiots then let them.. your daughter needs to see them for who they are.. BUT if you feel so badly about this, then write the x mother in law a letter.. dont be mean or spiteful in it just explain that you understand her feelings where ur concerned and as long as u both act like mature adults theres no reason why everyone can be civil for one day for the sake of your daughter, tell her you'll stay on ur side of the room she stays on hers and u'll just avoid each other like the plague.. make a copy of the letter.. for ur own records because if she still doesnt come u can show ur daughter that u did all u could to try and get her to change her mind..
2007-10-13 20:38:16 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We really can't give a reasonable answer, because you didn't bother giving us even a hint of the reason there is so much bad feelings. I mean, did you hire a hit man? Sleep with his brother OR his sister? Steal money from his family? Murder his child? Why ask a question, and leave out the info we need to give a helpful suggestion? That suggests to me that you know exactly why, but are leaving that out in order to get answers that fault the mother in law and your ex. Sorry, but my BS detector goes off when folks omit info.
2007-10-11 05:53:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is extremely frustrating. People holding a grandchild's needs hostage because of bad feelings from the past. Has this lady only told u this? Maybe if grandaughter personaly invites her it may make a difference. If your daughter has no relationship with her, maybe it won't darken her day.
Remember this is not about you or your daughter. This is about someone else hanging onto old stuff. Pray for her and your ex (even if thru gritted teeth). Help your daughter to not take this personally as it is about their shortcomings, not hers or yours.
2007-10-11 04:27:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
"This is pathetic."
That pretty much sums it up. She's a grown woman acting like a two year old, and there's nothing you can do about it.
The only hope is for your granddaughter to address her grandmother directly, and if the grandmother is still a b*tch about it, then hopefully your daughter will understand that it's nothing to do with HER, and everything to do with her grandmother.
And to be honest, if the grandmother is that petty, you're probably better off with her not at the wedding in the long run.
Good luck...
2007-10-11 04:34:25 · answer #9 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you can extend an olive branch by writing a heartfelt letter explaining this about your daughter's once in a lifetime event and how much this means to her that the grandma is there ( not how much it is hurting her, keep it positive or you will put her on the defensive and start the old battle all over again)
whatever happened that makes her hate you is causing her to do this, if you write this letter and explain your intent that it is not about you or her or the husband you stand a chance of paving the way for her to come.
devil woman, witch, loser for a son, i guarantee you that your feelings for her are completely obvious to her, she knows you feel this way and her reaction to this is to hurt you back. if you truly want her there your own words need to change, and you yourself need to use words of cooperation and kindness for your daughters sake, you need to be the bigger and better person,
i wouldnt want to be around someone who years later used those words about me, and, she is reacting by being just as mean, i guess.
every other word in your question is filled with hate and anger. if you would like these people to be at your daughters wedding, use words of friendliness that are not judgemental of their stupidity. use words of hope that are inclusive of them in this happy event, stress how happy everyone would be to have them there, remind her that your daughter adores her, appeal to her pride and her love for her. love. her love.
in fact the poster above me had the utterly brilliant idea that your daughter write her too, that is, incredible, if you and your daughter write her, how could she refuse?
words have the power here.
2007-10-11 04:36:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Enjoy your daughter's wedding! Make sure she has a wonderful day also.
You can't control the way others feel. I think your ex-mother-in-law is acting very immature. What ever happened between you and her son was y'all's business.........not hers!
She needs to get a grip and move on .....it appears that everyone else has.
2007-10-11 05:00:42 · answer #11 · answered by sugarbee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋