How to cope and deal with this?

Question

How do you deal with your ex husband that his wife and him talk about you when you see him to exchange the kid's.

I'm not asking about how to exchange the kids, I only want to know how to deal with it.

Answer 1

You must kill them with kindness. If they are talking about you in front of the child they are very stuiped for that, and let them know that in front of your child but in a very nice way.. Example: I have never said anything bad in front of or to my son about his dads wife (even though I cant stand her) Well one day my son was talking about her one day and I was very respectful and talking her up to him (its never easy to do that, I'm sure you know) So he tells me. "mom, you don't have to like my dads wife because she doesn't like you" I was shocked that he would hear that. so I called his dad he was caught off guard and quickly got off the phone,(I was very nice when asking him to not let her talk about me around him, and that if she doesn't like me thats fine, because I don't like her anyway, but I don't let our son know that) then called me back an hour later, he assumed I wouldn't be dropping our son off over there, but to his surprise I still asked him what time was good for me to drop him off. Well when I dropped him off, I told her right in front of my child, I said "He told me you said you don't like me, and that you cant stand me, I told him that he must have misunderstood the conversation, because that wouldn't be nice for someone to talk about his mom like that" well she kept cutting me off saying, how much she respected me for being his mom, and that she never said that. I just kept with what I was saying and left it at that. and she kept saying over and over that she didn't say it and that she respects me, I wanted to grab her by her throat and choke her..lol. But I didn't I kept cool with the situation since my child was right there. After telling her it wasn't something we needed to discuses since, he misunderstood and she wouldn't be that mean to say those things about his mom (even though I know she did) she kept going on and apologizing and I changed the subject and starting asking my son about the fish in the fish tank. She was very pi ssed off by time I left, but I stayed real nice and basically made her look like a fool in front of my son, and she hated it, But I did it very nicely, biting my tongue the whole time. My son knew I wasn't rude to her and I was nice and respectful to her, but he also knows what he heard and knows he didn't misunderstand, and that she must be a not so nice person to say that about his mom.

Killing someone with kindness is the best thing to do, and you feel so good afterwards and the other person feels like crap.

Answer 2

oh dear jealousy is a terrible thing , its hard but be positive , smile and just focus on the children.don`t mutter be firm , let tham no your great bringing the kids up and you new life you dont need him and the life you had before .and for tham to be like that ,the kids are taking all this in , wot kind of of people are thy , so wot are thy like with the kids when your not there?. do thy seem different when thy come home ? don`t forget thy come first in all this ; and if your not happy you can have supervised visits .or you can get some one to pass the kid`s over at a meeting place .

Answer 3

Try not to let them see that it bothers you. You'll only give them more reason to continue. It's hard, but don't stoop to their level. Everytime you resist, compliment yourself on your poise and maturity at handling the situation. Degrading an ex only makes the culprit look bad.

You'll be teaching your children a wonderful life lesson. You can also walk away with your dignity.

Good luck.

Answer 4

have u tried mooning both of them. sometime when the kids aren't around, bend over and hike ur dress up and give em both a moon shot. then act like nothing happened. that should tell em how u feel about them talking about u. good luck to u and i'll keep u in my prayers

Answer 5

Repeat this mantra---He is my ex for a good reason, it doesn't matter what he says. Just keep thinking this over and over as you politely make your greetings and leave. It will also show the kids how to act.

Answer 6

Why do you care what they say? Aren't you happy with your self? It is normal in a way for this to happen.....it really should mean nothing to you.

Answer 7

i wouldnt worry about it it sounds like hes trying to boost her ego.. if it bothers ya tell em keep your thought about me to yourself you can discuss me later and defitnly not in front of my chlldren,,, she sounds insecure

Answer 8

JUST SMILE AND WAVE..LOL KINDNESS KILLS.